if there's one thing i LOOOOVE, it's sleep. cozying up in my pj's, snuggled up in my covers.
except work is trying to ruin it.
not only did i get a call at 5:30 yesterday afternoon telling me i'd need to work overnight (11pm - 7am), BUT i get to do it again.
oh yeah, LOOOOVE getting voicemails from 10:15 am WHILE I'VE BEEN ASLEEP FOR 90 MINUTES telling me i get to stay awake again until 7am tomorrow morning.
my body is exhausted...but i'm not sure i can sleep. i'm gonna be worn out, worn down, worn slap out by tomorrow.
AND I MIGHT HAVE TO DO IT ONCE MORE.
i'm the girl who doesn't call out sick. i'm the girl who's taken her entire vacation ONCE in the 5 years she's been working. i'm the girl who did the right thing and swapped on-call weekends when i went out of town for the masters.
and i'm the one who gets screwed.
i've spent the better part of the afternoon crying, because it's NOT. FAIR.
now when i'm at least 90% sure the girl who's calling out isn't really sick. i don't believe she can't get a doctor to see her until tomorrow. i don't believe whatever it is is bad enough to keep her from work.
i don't believe it should be me. i've been there the longest...but because the new people "can't handle it", i get effed over.
HOW ABOUT THEY LEARN BY DOING?!
it's really hard doing your job when you've been burnt out for more than a year...and then keep getting the short end of the stick.
it's really hard knowing you strive for excellence, but settle for barely passable because it's not worth the extra effort.
it's hard knowing you worked for 4 years for a degree you'll probably never use again.
its hard knowing the ONLY thing keeping you going is the meager, barely about minimum wage paycheck coming in.
it's just REALLY hard right now.