Tuesday, April 27, 2010

a few letters to people in my life.

dear dude in the truck with the crazy eyes,

seriously? your eyes are WEIRD. so when i'm turning my car at the intersection near you....don't look at me with them. it freaks me out before i'm fully caffeinated.

love,
scared to turn her head, or her malibu.

dear 10 year old driving a jacked up pickup,

DO. NOT. RIDE. MY. ASS. it's a 35 mph road...and the whole other lane is clear. get over if you need to...but don't get all up in my biznass, and then whip your giant truck around me, and glare. you look 10....12 tops. so stop the attitude until you can see over the steering wheel without a pillow.

love,
i hate you.

dear marshal who was behind me,

seriously?? you honked at me at a red light, told me to roll my window down, and the proceeded to lecture me that i ran the red light before the one i was sitting at. except it was yellow when i went under it...and that's not running a light. so quit your power trip.

love,
not amused by your display of marshal-ness.

p.s. it's none of your business if i'm saving a memo on my phone AT A RED LIGHT. despite your warnings, it's not "texting while i'm driving". cuz my window was down. and i was talking to you. AT A RED LIGHT.

ass.

and finally, dear hubs,

i know it's only been 6 months...cuz i'd like to get married again. mostly because of this.
see...i really really want this bouquetm from WeddingLust on etsy, aka the shop run by the oh-so-gorgeous and talented Mrs. Prepperoni.



she's my girl, she's my fellow gossip junkie, she's always a text away when i need any opinion on ANYTHING....but mostly outfits. so i'd like to help her out with her awesome wedding shop....BUT right now, i don't really have a reason to buy a vintage brooch bouquet. but if we got married again...i would! think about it, k?

love,
your wanna-be-a -trophy wife.

6 comments:

Mrs. Prepperoni said...

Thanks, babycakes!!! MUAH!

MrsSouthernBelle said...

you crack me up! as usual...

bananas. said...

"your eyes are WEIRD...don't look at me with them" BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!! you're funny!

and the 10 year old driver...oh hell no! i will shake that baby silly. hmmm...

but yea, get married again. and then invite me. i may or may not take oofa with me as a date, just sayin.

brooke said...

you're hilarious!!! and uh.most definitely need to get married again so banana and i can crash that...i mean attend the blessed event!!! hahaha...

and seriously what is up with columbus?!?! hi.mr.marshall can you please get on the fact that EVERYONE HERE BELIEVES RED LIGHT MEANS TWO MORE CARS THROUGH!!! and not hound on the ones that are simply passing under yellow??! this is an issue i have...k.thanks!

meredith said...

ahhaha, this is hysterical!!!!

i pretty much call anyone younger than me 12. LOVE that you said that.

i'm your newest follower!!

miss lucille said...

haha! i hate creepster drivers!!