Friday, July 30, 2010

i have no idea what to i consult reality tv

i'm in a fashion conundrum. and i need your help...along with reality tv. i LOVE rachel zoe...and i love the looks she comes up with. i wanna give her a sandwich most days...but with the premiere of the new season of "the rachel zoe project" coming up tuesday night...i got to wondering...what would RZ do in a bomber bind?

remember this bomber i got a few weeks ago? it's cream colored, it's got the knit at the sleeves and the color...very trendy, and also very cheap.

but what if i found another cream jacket...and it's still july?!
i saw this beauty at new york & company earlier this week....cream colored, a little more stylish thna's got more of a motorcycle feel than a bomber one...the zips on the sleeves (which go all the way down), the lacing in the back of the jacket..,super freaking adorable. and about 3 times the price of the bomber ($30 vs. $110, but you KNOW i have a coupon).

so...i'm torn with what to do.

take the bomber back to target, and use the money for the new one?? or just get BOTH and rock them with different outfits? the bomber would probably be strictly a jeans and top jacket...but the motorcycle one would probably get thrown over cute dresses and tights, along with jeans and tops.

help a girl out..or at least justify my purchase of ANOTHER cream "leather" jacket =)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

do i come clean?

ahhh, close to the weekend. also SO close to my date with level 2 of the 30-day shred....SO. SO. SCARED.

yesterday, i had a lunch/shopping date with the lovely brooke who i just happened to find in the hugely massive blog world...and turns out, she's right in my backyard!! so we went from internet friends to "real" friends...which is awesome. plus, we both got to FREAK OUT when kristen's gorgeous new son, and his oh-so-enviable name hit the blogosphere. this kid is bigger than suri cruise yo!

anyhoo, i blog is totally a secret from about 99% of my "real" friends. i don't really know why i still keep my blog life separate from my regular one...i did it for awhile because i'd talk about folks from work (over-accessorizer much?!) or i was blogging about wedding stuff i didn't want my peeps who'd be at the wedding to see. but now...

now i don't really know why i'm in the blog-closet.

i guess i just think people won't understand....i've had internet friends for YEARS. when i was in high school, i'd post on some teen AOL messageboard. and no, i did not meet pervs. then when i started planning my wedding, i was on the knot like white on rice...and some of the girls i "met" there are now really close friends! and those girls pushed me to start blogging, which is where i met all of you =)

it's so weird being the ONLY one in my circle with a blog-life...i just can't decide if i wanna keep it that way.

why do YOU blog?

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

you gotta promise to love me after this, okay?

so, i went shopping last week. and i got some half staple/half trendy stuff...and i'm gonna show them to you BEFORE my confession about them.
first up, this long vest. i am so late to the long vest train...but i LOOOOVE them. i love throwing this on with a bright colored tank and my boyfriend crop jeans and some fun earrings and feeling "dressed", but still cool in this hotter-than-hades weather.
2nd up is this black blousy top...i got it one size up so it'd be more flowy, and therefore more forgiving...and it was $10. which is bananas. plus, i love love LOVE black shirts in all forms.'s the confession's a two-fer.
1. these things are from walmart. yes, land of rednecks and awful fashion decisions....but the vest was $12 and the top was $10 and i was stuck escaping a monsoon!!
2. not only are they from walmart....they're from miley cyrus' line with max azria. MILEY CYRUS!!!!! ugh, it hurts me even to see the labels. because a redneck girl with gums WAYYYYY too big for her mouth should not make her way in my closet EVER. but she did. damn her.

sidenote:: miley, i know your new song is "can't be tamed"....but birds are kinda tame already. so the whole wearing wings and dancing in a cage thing is kinda lame. lions need to be tamed...even wild dogs. birds...not so much.
also, excuse the awful angle on this pic....but this is the necklace i rocked with my black top today. and yes....i made it. it weight approximately 4 million lbs. or maybe like 1.5...but that's still heavy on a girl's neck!! but i loooooove it, and it's so funky and cool, so i'll do it =)

are we still cool, even with the whole miley-wear thing?? i hope so...

Monday, July 26, 2010

whining is good for a monday right?

who'd have thought that even unemployed mondays will get me super annoyed?! here is a short list of the completely stupid things that bothered me today::

1. the girl in front of me in line at hobby lobby. WHY OH WHY do girls think messy, barely done ponytails look okay?! like....pulled it back, wrapped the holder around twice about halfway down the tail, and just left it. off to the side no less. YOU LOOK INSANE. fix your hair.

2. the girl i saw at the mall, with the "don't you wish your girlfriend was TAN like me" t-shirt on. really?? REALLY?! i wanted to stop her and say "does your boyfriend have one that says 'don't you wish your girlfriend had skin cancer like mine does"

3. chipping nail polish. i busted out the essie mint candy apple last the color, but i've already got a chip on my right-hand pinkie. ANNOYING. i also hate sheet marks...but ALWAYS get them, even with like 60 minutes of drying time before bed.

4. the way my new vitamins make my burps taste weird (tmi? maybe...)

5. HOW MOTHER EFFING HOT IT IS. seriously...i don't like sweating. and my face starts dripping buckets every freaking time i leave the house.

6. the fact that my dog TURNED OFF MY WI-FI on my laptop...and the fact that it took me 10 minutes to figure out how to fix it. is just too much.

7. speaking come i can't find a mint green phone case?!

8. feeling guilty about spending when the hubs is the only one working....even though i found a KILLER cream colored "leather" jacket today. and yes...that would make 2.

i can't be the only one with annoyances at the beginning of the tell me, what's getting your goat?!

Friday, July 23, 2010

made it a month into the season...

before i wind up looking like THIS.

that's right ladies, my thursday afternoon of pooltime with my girls turned into the first sunburn of the season!! NOT actually, since my skin feels like it's about 150 degrees. i'm hoping my arms and legs turn a little tan...or at least not MORE freckly...but we shall see.

and so, what's a girl to do when she's slathering on aloe lotion like it's going out of style??

shop for boots. duh.
okay, so technically i was just on and saw these....they're supposed to be dark grey...and i kinda LOVE them. but are they too hardcore? the buckles are good because i gots the skinniest legs EVER....and i'd be able to cinch those bad boys to my scraawny stems.

so is july too soon to by boots i won't be able to wear until AT LEAST october??

also...i NEED help figuring out if i love or hate this dress.

i love the banding under the boobs...but does the ruched part make the ladies look smaller?? i don't like that....

it comes in about a katrillion colors, and it's only $30, with free shipping...with tights and boots and a peacoat, it'd be cute for fall..AND i can wear it with flip flops or sandals right now.

help a sister out, the hubs already said i could buy it...but now i'm all confused!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

i get that it's hot...but you've got AC

i'm a georgia girl, and as such....i'm used to nasty ass, hot sweaty summers. it's ALWAYS like this. upper 90's, humidity out the yin yang, and waiting for-EVER for the car AC to cool down.

it's hot. i get it.

what i do not get is the no less than THREE dudes i saw driving around in their cars/trucks/vehicles...with no shirt on.

seriously dudes? i know it's a scorcher. but unless you're going to a male revue i don't know're gonna need a shirt on when you get there. so why not just PUT IT ON WHEN YOU LEAVE THE HOUSE?!

i don't get it....i don't drive around sans pants just to keep cool before i get to my destination.

also, to the one dude driving down the road shirtless munching on this...


i love a frosty tube of frozen sugar water as much as the next girl...but i don't go cruising around with them. because it's weird. and i usually want 2 or 3, not 1.

anyone else witness the shirtless dude phenomenon?? do you get it??

Monday, July 19, 2010

seriously...i'm with my grandma. put on some pants.

dear girl who was wearing nude colored leggings at cracker barrel today,

i know it's summer, and you're looking for something casual and cute. but i gotta say...nude leggings and a top is NOT the answer. for several reasons.

1. it's hot as balls in GA right now. for realz. so leggings aren't really keeping you cool.
2. leggings need to be worn with shirts that ACTUALLY COVER YOUR BUTT. not ones that barely come to your waist.
3. NUDE LEGGINGS MAKE IT LOOK LIKE YOU DON'T HAVE PANTS ON AT ALL. which hello, you don't!!! but at least black leggings could pass as quasi-pants. but nooooo, you decide to rock nude ones. TO CRACKER BARREL.

they sell pants at goodwill. check it out.

always rocking something on her bottom half.

i mean honest to goodness, i'm at CB with my mom, sis and my 94 YEAR OLD GRANDMOTHER. luckily, she can't see well anymore....otherwise, grandma, who used to be a fashion buyer in her day, would have died on the spot.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

i haven't walked right for days

this weekend, i decided i was fed up with myself. fed up with feeling like i was bigger than i should be....fed up with feeling guilty about eating the things i want, because i don't look the way i want. and yes...there was probably also a little bit of crazy-time PMS hormones mixed in. but still.

come monday morning...i decided it was back on the workout wagon.

EXCEPT I HATE SWEATING. i hate it. it's gross. and i hate it.

plus, i'm a wicked face sweater, so that's always entertaining.

with no income to speak of, a gym was armed with some new DVDs, it's living room workouts for me. i started with a new addition, the biggest loser "cardio max".

this should be called the "you won't be able to use your thigh muscles for the next few days, and you might want to cut off your own legs". because cardio it may be...but it's also squatting and lunging and doing every sort of insane leg workout ever. UGH.

and so today, i went back to my arch enemy.

do NOT let that smile fool you...she's probably gonna eat that dog later. or make it do bicep curls while squatting. UGH.

oh yes, i've gotten back on the 30 day shred wagon. i hate this woman with an all-consuming passion. and don't get me started on anita, the dvd workout girl who's doing the "beginner" moves....BITCH HAS 12 PACK ABS, AND NO FAT ON HER. i bet her hair weighs more than she does. whore.

but i am DETERMINED to not let her beat me this time....last go around, i made it 10 days before life and wedding craziness got in the way...i'll do 30 this time. or die trying.....because leg workouts and a tri-level house with hardwood stairs do NOT mix.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

the pieces of my birthday suit

no, NOT the nudie bits...sorry for all of you hoping for a sneak peek of the goodies...but that biznass doesn't go on the internets.

nope, i'm talking about the goodies i BOUGHT for my birthday, courtesy of mama. she loves me ya know =)

well, she wanted to buy me a pair of shoes....TWIST MY ARM MOM, GEEZ. she knows how much i haaaaate shoes.

lo and behold, macy's wants to make my birthday dreams come true, with these beauties i've had my eye on for MONTHS.

i do not know why they look TEENSY in my hand...i wear a size 10. i'm no tiny-footed gal. i'd fall over.

but anyways...aren't they the prettiest?!
here they are on my feet, with dang. cute. can't wait to wear them year round...i think they'll be FAB with a black sweater and my pink peacoat!!

so mom has a coupon for $10 off $30....thought these were $35, but they rang up $25. so we go searching for something else...and boy do i find it.
sorry for the blurry pic....but isn't this cardi fun?! LOVE the coral color, and the bright flowers....for $25, i figured it was a steal. $50 for a pair of shoes and a sweater?? heck yes.

except when we took it to ring it up....IT WAS SEVEN DOLLARS. SEVEN. so with mom's coupon....both were $23. SO. SICK. i swear, i learned every deal shopping skill i have from my mother.

mama also paid for my haircut, which you can see in this photo....
oh that's right, i'm also showing off my KICKASS new cropped cream bomber. this thing is SICK. also.....REALLY hot in july, so i had to try it on, snap a pic, and then take it off asap.

i am basically obsessed with this thing, and don't even care that it's an XXL cuz it's from the juniors dept and made for teeny little small boobied girls.

because for $30, it looks pretty close to real leather, not cheapy at all....this will sit in my closet til fall, looking TOO fierce. it also comes in black and cognac, which i SOOO wanted but i already have a jacket that color, and the cream was too great to pass up.

so some of you need to go get the other colors so i can live through you, k??

Monday, July 12, 2010

i bet a jury wouldn't convict me

i promise, tomorrow you'll get a rundown of my birthday purchases with mom...which include a super hot pair of FLATS, and a crazy good deal.

but first, you won't believe the first thing that happened to me on my birthday.
this sign should say "need some bitches and a good blow to the ego? inquire inside!!"

so i hop by walgreens on my way to my parents house, my mom dyes my hair red for me (ONE time i got some dye in our bathroom, and it MAY have looked like someone got murdered in the hubs won't let me do it alone anymore), so i can look all super cute before going shopping.

got my cute little empire waist jersey dress on, no makeup, but feeling good....cuz it's my birthday!! wooo!!!

i get up to the register, and there's this little old lady buying something for like $4....she's being chatty with the cashier, and keeps forgetting how much her bill is....typical little old lady. the cashier is NOT being chatty back....just keeps telling her how much money she owes.

lady leaves, cashier rings up my hair dye...i pay, and as she hands me my bag, her missing-a-tooth, works at walgreens at 10am on a friday mouth opens and she says to me...

"are you expecting?"


if i hadn't been so FURIOUS that she was rude to the little old lady and to me, i'd have probably said something instead of just walking out, irately. or you know...punched ANOTHER tooth out. a friend of mine said as long as there was one woman on a jury...i could probably have hit her with my car and gotten away with it.

because this girl was NOT. SMALL. had a good 100lbs on me...easy. plus, you know...the missing tooth thing. but she asks me IF I'M EXPECTING.

who the hell does that?!

Friday, July 9, 2010

me and shaft are super tight

wanna know why me and the super fly, ever so awesome richard roundtree are BFFs?


(so does oj simpson, john tesh, courtney love and fred savage....but shaft is the coolest)
that's right ladies and gents...this girl is the ripe old age of 27 today!!

wanna know what's weird? my mom's birthday is 6 days before i am quite literally just about the EXACT same age she was when she had me. 27.

but this girl isn't ready for babies just yet...the 2 dogs will do JUST fine =)

to be honest....27 feels pretty similar to 26, without a wedding and honeymoon to look forward to....but i'm hoping this year means even more exciting a new job i WANT, and maybe some moving trucks...who knows?!

i hope you all have a WONDERFUL've got'll be like a birthday present to me!!!

Thursday, July 8, 2010

i need a new mop.

cuz hair feels like a mop. a straight-up, lifeless, kinda hanging there, i kinda hate it 'do.

so i need to fix it.
see, this is about how long my hair is a smidge. and yes, this was for a friend who LOVES some boo berry, and we found it for him.

so here's what i'm thinking...

i'm being drawn to long bobs...right around my shoulders. i'd be able to throw this in a pony right?

i don't have as long a neck as these lovely ladies...but i think it'll work, right??

ugh, i have super fine it doesn't really hold curl or anything AT ALL, so i feel like this might be a change from my normal chop some layers in and be on my way.

i think my current unemployed status, and the fact that i hang out with my dogs all day is making me feel incapable of deciding things.

it's this...or chop it all off like ginnifer goodwin,

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

the hubs might have to sleep alone tuesday night

monday, the hubs and i are just hanging out at home, watching a little marathon of "true life" on MTV...and suddenly, my whole world gets SO much better. because what do i see a commercial for?? no, not the new season of jersey shore...although, seeing snooki talk about fried pickles makes this southern girl's heart SO happy...on no, it was ever better than GTL.


omg i am so so so excited. nothing says great tv like a quad of teenage ladies, trying to raise their babies (or not, if you're catelynn), and fighting with everyone, ever.

(does anyone even REMEMBER the chick between catelynn and farrah? i don't....)

let me give you a rundown of the awesome, JUST from the 2 commercials we saw.

~catelynn gives the ring from her baby daddy BACK. ooooh drama....even though he was way weird, and couldn't get past the whole adoption thing....this girl has her act together though, i LOOOVE her.

~farrah's mom GETS ARRESTED. for punching her in the face!!! i'd read about it months ago, on tmz or some such biznass....but to see her call the cops?? love it. her mama is bat-shit nuts....even though farrah kinda sucks too, always doing to parties and leaving sofia at home. although...i feel bad for her, cuz according to the internets, her baby-daddy wanted to be with her, but crazy mama wouldn't let it happen....then HE DIED. before the baby was born. such a bummer.

~poor maci is dealing with the drama that is ryan, the king of the douches. first, he brings some girl to her house when he's dropping off bentley. then, he's OUTRAGED she wants child support, and claims he's gonna sue for custody. seriously champ?? you can barely hold a job AT A TIRE SHOP. and you didn't want to buy your son cake mix for his first birthday. plus, you suck. big time. i wanna become a judge just to lock him up for being a dickwad.

~and then....the hot messiest of them all....the king and queen of the trailer park chapter of chubs-r-us....amber and gary. need i remind you gary bought a $500 gaming system...but spent about $30 on her engagement ring, FROM WALMART....oh yeah, and he asked about a return policy. klassy dude.

and last season....she hit him. like, full-on whooped on him...and then told dr. drew she wasn't sorry for doing it. but then changed her story when she realized she was being a loser.

"gary, look me in my face....look me in my face....i'm sorrry i hit you."

and she KEEPS claiming she thinks she's pregnant again, because it "feels like it did with leah". that's probably gas you crazy bitch...or your insides being cooked, because you currently have the skintone of an oompa loompa.

please tell me i'm not the only one gearing up for the epic reality tv awesomeness that is this show.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

there are only two types of people in this world...

journey fans. and liars.

okay, that may not actually be true....but i KNOW all of you are fans of our brave men and women serving in the military.

and you see this happy couple?? these lovebirds are great friends of mine, on their wedding day 2 and half years ago.

not long after they got hitched, and moved across the country from GA to WA, the mister got deployed. i believe he's on his second deployment to afghanistan now...and since he's headed home soon, some of his buddies got together to make this CLASSIC video gem.

those lady gaga soldiers have NOTHING on these boys!!

these guys want as many people as possible to see this mullet wearing, power ballad of share it if you love it!!

Monday, July 5, 2010

our 4th of july was way too hot

and i'm not talking about the temps....although it was hovering above 90 most of the day.

i'm talking about coming home from running errands about 4:30pm on sunday, and seeing a weird dark spot on the far end of our front yard. so we go to inspect....and find THIS.
please tell me you wouldn't freak out?! then...our next door neighbor calls us over and says she can tell us what happened.

turns out, our catty-corner neighbors (two houses down and across the street, who we not-so-affectionately call the pyros because they drag their COUCH outside and burn things in a fire barrel) were shooting fireworks IN THE AFTERNOON, and one might have gotten away from them....

and not only did they burn our yard in two places.....they didn't say a damn word about it!!! only reason the neighbor knew is because her son was leaving her house and saw them trying to put it she came out and told them they needed to be careful.

these kids are hoodlums...always walking up and down our street, or walking their bikes, or riding the lawnmower. seriously...punks. so the hubs decides to cut the front yard right then and there so we can use the sprinkler and hose it down before night time, big time fireworks start.

and the trio of upstanding citizens WALKS RIGHT BY OUR YARD. they make eye contact with both of us...and still don't say a word.

so the hubs is crazy pissed at this point....but we go inside. about 45 minutes go by, and we decide to talk the dogs outside.


so, what's a frustrated couple with a burnt-up yard to do?!
you're damn right, we CALLED. THE. COPS. cuz that's how we burn our yard and then don't say anything to sorry, no what can we do, no nothing. so when it happens again....we get the law involved.

the officer was super nice, told us he couldn't arrest them (which we knew), but he did tell them that if sued them, since they're juveniles, we'd sue their parents...and made the boys get their dad from inside so he could talk to him too. it was awesome.

anybody else have an eventful holiday??

Saturday, July 3, 2010

in honor of the 4th,,,,

i thought about waxing poetic about how much i love being american (cuz i do yo!!), or how much i love red, white and blue, or how much i LOOOVE fireworks....but none of it seemed appropriate.

so when i saw this, i knew it was meant for all my internet friends =)


Friday, July 2, 2010

it's not what it looks like....

hi, my name is hayley....and i am a compulsive snacker. a handful of chips here, a couples grabs from the popcorn bag there, 12 jellybeans just for something sweet....i do it all.

plus, i have snack ADD....hence why i have like 3 things, instead of 1.

but usually...if i get portioned-out things, i'll only have 1 of whatever it is. don't ask me why it makes a difference in my head....but it does.

and i now have one of my favorite things waiting for me in my freezer, that will hopefully keep my snacking under control....but i'm gonna warn might laugh.

banana babies!!!! these bad boys are tiny little nuggets of frozen banana deliciousness, covered in milk or dark chocolate (yes, i got both).

but see.....every time i have one....i also can't stop thinking like a 10 year old boy.

because you see it right?? you get what i'm giggling at?

alright, for the cleaner minded of you....IT LOOKS LIKE A WANG.

a tiny chocolate penis on a stick.

the worst/best part? the first time i had these was at work....where we literally spent 15 minutes making inappropriate jokes about eating these.

that's what she said.

anyone else have an adolescent male sense of humor sometimes??