Monday, July 12, 2010

i bet a jury wouldn't convict me

i promise, tomorrow you'll get a rundown of my birthday purchases with mom...which include a super hot pair of FLATS, and a crazy good deal.

but first, you won't believe the first thing that happened to me on my birthday.
this sign should say "need some bitches and a good blow to the ego? inquire inside!!"

so i hop by walgreens on my way to my parents house, my mom dyes my hair red for me (ONE time i got some dye in our bathroom, and it MAY have looked like someone got murdered in there...so the hubs won't let me do it alone anymore), so i can look all super cute before going shopping.

got my cute little empire waist jersey dress on, no makeup, but feeling good....cuz it's my birthday!! wooo!!!

i get up to the register, and there's this little old lady buying something for like $4....she's being chatty with the cashier, and keeps forgetting how much her bill is....typical little old lady. the cashier is NOT being chatty back....just keeps telling her how much money she owes.

lady leaves, cashier rings up my hair dye...i pay, and as she hands me my bag, her missing-a-tooth, works at walgreens at 10am on a friday mouth opens and she says to me...

"are you expecting?"

UM, NO WHORE I AM NOT PREGNANT. BUT THANKS FOR SAYING I LOOK FAT ENOUGH TO BE PREGNANT, AT WALGREENS...ON MY BIRTHDAY.

if i hadn't been so FURIOUS that she was rude to the little old lady and to me, i'd have probably said something instead of just walking out, irately. or you know...punched ANOTHER tooth out. a friend of mine said as long as there was one woman on a jury...i could probably have hit her with my car and gotten away with it.

because this girl was NOT. SMALL. had a good 100lbs on me...easy. plus, you know...the missing tooth thing. but she asks me IF I'M EXPECTING.

who the hell does that?!

8 comments:

Claire Kiefer said...

THIS HAS HAPPENED TO ME TWICE. Both times I was wearing a jersey empire waist dress . . . and it is the most infuriating, horrifying experience that is sure to leave you RAGING in fury. Oh my goodness I will never forget either time some @#!$% asked me if I was pregnant! So sorry you had to endure this nightmare, but remember that it happens to the best of us!

Amy Lynn said...

Ugh! What a biatch! lol

Erin @ Sassin' Southern Style said...

I just say, "nope, just fat, but thanks for asking," and it truly embarrasses people. I'm sorry, though!

Beach Bum & Baby said...

WHAT in the world!?! What a crazy B!!! I hate people like that!! I'm so sorry you had to encounter that on your bday!!

I had a cashier at Target (yes, Target - I was shocked too) almost put me in labor yesterday he was so rude. I ended up in my car crying... yea...

And happy belated birthday - I can't wait to hear about all of the good parts of your special day!!

MrsSouthernBelle said...

What. The. Eff.??????????????? This is SO like my Walmart situation! you totally should have said "No, Im not. Do you know your tooth fell out??"

Shay said...

My Ex actually had the audacity to ask me that recently. He was doing it to be a jerk!! happy belated brithday and next time just kick her ;)

bananas. said...

Didn't you know? the bitch was still drunk from last night...she didn't know what she was saying! And if she did, well she deserved a good can of whoop ass, that's for sure.

Hope this little incident didn't ruin your birthday.

perfectly paisley said...

You should've hit her.... :o) or asked her if her rude comments were the cause of her disgusting teeth!