i love being smug

oh yes, it's that time again...the amazing idea of the lovely Summer.

so what i am in love with today? being smug. that even though i feel like a terrible pup parent...NO way i'm the worst one.

my little nugget took ANOTHER trip to the pet urgent care last night. it's like he's bound and determined to keep me from watching "the office." and i need my jim and pam fix yo!

he threw up on their floor...and then the loser receptionist took about 15 minutes to clean it up. sorry ma'am...i'm worried about my dog, NOT the fact that he vomited on your floor. you got nothing else to do.

luckily, the little man is fine...doc said his vitals were good, and this morning at his regular vet, he said the little guy's got some upper respiratory issues from all the pollen in the air. clearly...he is his father's child in that respect, cuz this lady don't got no sneeze issues.

anyhoo, while we were at urgent care...the doc there says "i'm glad to see his weight (17 lbs...woo woo!) where it is, because sometimes pugs can be overweight".

ummm...yeah lady. we know. we saw the OTHER pug in the waiting room....that looked like this.

I KID YOU NOT, IT WAS JABBA THE HUT IN PUG FORM.

biggest mother effing pug i have EVER. SEEN. ever. i have never been madder i can't figure out how to turn the camera noise off on my phone.

while we were in our exam room...we heard them call that pug to the scale...and we most definitely hushed up to hear how big this dog really was.

25 POUNDS. 25. compared to my guy's 17. unreal.

also, the dog had 1 eye. which i know is not its fault...but still. it adds to the jabba-ness. also, had a heart problem...PROBABLY CUZ SHE WAS 25 POUNDS OF LARD. your heart would struggle too.

AND we're pretty sure the lady who brought him in was drunk. really drunk. she went outside every 10 minutes...and she wasn't smoking. or talking on the phone. so she was hitting up the airline bottles, intervention style.

hahaha, please tell me someone else has witnessed the wonder that is sylvia. screaming about "her babies" and breaking into wine bottles are her crazy mom's house with a STEAK KNIFE.

side note: sylvia is my 2nd fave intervention ever. 3rd is the blonde girl meth head who throws ramen noodles at her sister's face.

tops is a dude who gets into a physical altercation with his girlfriend's dad over a computer, and winds up crying IN A DRAINAGE DITCH in valdosta, ga. amazing.

so moral of the story is....i might not be able to keep my dog from sneezing and acting like he's dying...but i can save him from a life of obesity and boozers.