yesterday afternoon, i had every intention of popping into publix, grabbing my buy 1 get 1 eight o'clock coffee beans, and getting the heck out of dodge. little did i know my trip would put me close to the slammer SEVERAL times.
first off...i'm barely in the parking lot, turn into the lane to get a space...and stop. because the car in front of me has stopped, waiting for a space. and we wait. and we wait.
and i swear to you, i witness this....
this woman in her SUV makes what had to be AN EIGHTEEN point turn to get out of her space. with at least 3-4 feet between her rear bumper and the lady in front of me. so she's got room...she just can't drive.
and then the woman in front of me TRIES TO BACK UP. bitch, i'm right here. quit your backtrackin', and let this hooker get out.
murderous thoughts numero uno.
so now...i've got a basket full o'biznass, waiting to check out. with about a million other people. so i'm waiting, and this dude in front of me sees one of his fratastic buddies two people in front of him. poor old lady sandwiched between them. here's my version of their convo::
Fratty McFratterson: sup brah? haven't seen you in ages. let's drink beer.
Douchey McGee: i knowwwwwwwww!!! let's totally drink beer. are those flowers for your BOYFRIEND? hardee har har.
SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU. converse OUTSIDE THE STORE. not around the poor old lady, and not when it slows up my checking out process.
murderous thoughts numero dos.
fast forward about 5 minutes...and i'm paying for my food. and when the bagger hands me my bags...one has 2 bags of coffee beans, two packages of refrigerated cookie dough, 2 boxes of pasta and a tub of ricotta.
the other day HAS ONE PACKAGE OF GROUND BEEF. is it that hard to maybe separate things a little better?? maybe don't make one bag weigh a pound...and one weigh about 18. i know being a grocery bagger is practically like being a rocket scientists or one of those smart docs on grey's anatomy...but GOOD. LORD.
murderous thoughts numero tres.
and then, when all i wanna do is get home...some driver in front of me goes about 7 under the speed limit and makes me miss not one, BUT TWO GREEN LIGHTS. omg. i really thought i was gonna kill someone before i got home.
at least puck had a solo on glee to make my day better =)