can we get this weekend going??

cuz for reals yo...i need it. and apparently...i am stupid. or blind. because i literally did NOT know i have monday off, until about 30 minutes ago. didn't look at the schedule very closely...just used to working holidays, so HOLLA!! hoping my girls will be here so i can get my pool and barbecue on...steaks are already in the fridge =)

and what do i wanna do with the rest of my time??? well first off...i got a little craft project in mind, for one of the littlest members of the blog world...aka the super hot mama Kristin's son! see, making stuff for OTHER people's babies sates my cuteness meter, so i don't bug the hubs about one of my own!

also, a trip to the store may be in order....cuz apparently, these are new...

you see that five letter word behind sharpie?? PAINT.

SHARPIE PAINT PENS.

i have officially died and gone to writing implement heaven. cuz i loooooooove me some sharpies. and now i can write on glass and all sorts of fun stuff??? this girl is about to go CRAFT. CRAZY.

also, i realized this morning i have absolutely no clue how to get out of a car in a ladylike fashion wearing a skirt. i blame being tall...my legs are too long to NOT be awkward.

also, rocking a skirt i've had for about 4 years...and clearly, it was purchased in my skinnier phase...cuz i'm rocking the waistband BY MY BELLY BUTTON, not down around my hips.

alas, hope my organs don't get too smushed....or that i don't have room for some cheese dip tonight at the mexican restaurant!!!

any other idol fans?

i totally spent 2 hours geeking out last night at the american idol finale. even though the whole 70's flashback thing was a little odd.....joe cocker, hall & oates, chicago, michael mcdonald, the beegees....NOT what i was expecting. but it was all pretty awesome.

especially this part.
omg, why is he SO PRECIOUS?! he was alreasy tearing up before they even announced he won, and he was just SO shocked. it was adorable.

also, don't tell the hubs...but those baby blues?? and he can sing? and play guitar? ::sigh:: i would totally make out with him, after i made him play me an acoustic version of "i'll be" by edwin mccain. at least that's how it goes in my head. YUM.

and can i just have this WHOLE ensemble please?! and look like this in it??

the leather leggings, the studded boots, the blingy necklace, THE VEST. omg the vest. i want the whole damn thing. i love it.


but by far, hands down, the single best part of the whole show....WAS THIS.


my goal in life is to be as kickass as general larry platt. because he's in his MID-60'S. and still doing his thang. and busting out some sweet dance moves. and making up songs about saggy pants.

any favorite parts for you? wanna help me find/make carrie's sweet vest?

patience is a virtue, but i'm going crazy

the hubs is supposed to get a call today from a job he sort-of interviewed for, sort of had them say "ooh, we love you, come work here".

this phone could change our lives.

and i am going NUTS waiting to hear from him!!!

looks like i gotta get my drink on

i've always seen wine work trivets, and cork boards, and all sorts of stuff...but it's not really my style. so i throw them away. but now...i have GOT to get to drinking. because i need this in my life asap.
um, for realz?! a MONOGRAMMED cork art?? that's like 2 of my favorite things...monograms, and vino. i know i have one bottle in the fridge...and 2 champagne corks on our table from new year's and something else....but clearly, i need to get moving. cuz this, with a D, in what will eventually be our dining room once my little sis takes our ugly apartment furniture we barely spent any money on?? heck yes.

if you'd like to try this our too, i got the tutorial from HERE.

and if you're a wine-o like me and wanna mail me some corks to make the process go faster, and less boozy.....

so unfair....

i ask you...on what crazy ass version of this planet is it fair to look like this...

with a husband like this...

who you met doing RENT no less..which makes you even more awesome...

and then you get to sing LIKE THIS.



ugh, if i didn't love her so much i'd HATE HER.

mama needs some new shoes

for all of my neverending love for all things footwear...i have all of TWO designer pairs. and they aren't even that pricey....i got blue kate spades for my rehearsal dinner, and pink stuart weitzmans for my wedding.

now, mama wants some loubs. NOW. see, the hubs could have some big news asap...which COULD make my dream of hella expensive kicks a dream. then i can get my carrie on any day of the week.
speaking of....can we talk about how SUPER FLY FANTASTIC all of these women look at the premiere of sex and the city 2?! all over 40...kim cattrall is over 50...and they. look. banging.

i don't know why SJP has her leg all jacked up and kicked out, other than to show off those shoes...but there's gotta be a better way!! but that yellow dress? to steal a phrase from rachel zoe...I. DIE. i wanna wear it right now. but without kicking my leg out like i can't stand correctly.

and speaking of shoes...can i get an amen for this fabulosity?

i don't even get the whole twitter thing...but people dot com says that's how Christian Siriano posted these lovelies from his...PAYLESS COLLECTION?! i don't even know...

i don't even get what they'd match, but i want them to sit nicely on a shelf or something. thet might look super cheap in person...but from the pic, they're kind of all sorts of awesome.

what shoes are you lusting after today?

i wanna get my spray on

so, i am basically obsessed with this entire crew. i wanna make cakes, with my complete lack of artistic talent, just cuz they seem like they have SO. MUCH. FUN.

plus, i'm kind of a buttercream fiend, so it'd be all fat kid loves cake...literally!!

so imagine my excitement, when michael's shows me a little way to get my ace of cake on at my house!
it's duff goldman cake graffiti spray!!! it comes in colors, and metallic silver. i wanna make cupcakes and bling them out asap. silver frosting, and that edible glitter? YES. PLEASE.

can we just get this over with?

the week i mean!! gah, the first half flew....now it's WICKED slow. i mean come on yo.

i also have a confession....i went shopping last night. BUT it was a good sale, and i got practical clothing...NOT the fun but less practical items i normally get.

new york & company has a sale with buy one, get one for $10 on all their pants/shorts/crops. so i got me some shorts, cuz it is gonna be HELLA hot this summer, and this girl does not wanna melt. and NY&Co has shorts that are short enough to not look frumpy...but not so short that my ass is hanging out. cuz i'll be 17 this summer, and i am too old for the whorey teen look.

also got 2 tees, a necklace, some awesome silver earrings....AND A NEW BAG.
this is my girl, except mine is a super bright royal blue...which may the only thing better than yellow. it's rommy inside, which i love...and i'm so far keeping the longer strap just hanging down right under the purse...cuz i like it!!

side note:: i'm a lip gloss FANATIC, but with so many glosses and sticks and whatnot...everything in my purse is the same shape, so it's hard to find what i want. do you keep stuff in a makeup bag IN your purse? i have lots of friends who do...but i feel like it makes my purse weigh more. which is weird.

also, FINALLY changed my pink hobo wallet out for the yellow patent one i got like 9 months ago...i got blue ink on the pink one back in december when a pen exploded in my purse.

so it got me to thinking....will my blue purse go with everything?? like....this?
cuz my boy christian siriano was on the view today, and OMG I NEED THIS DRESS YESTERDAY. i wanna get married again, and rock this. (so brooke and mayra, you can rock white!!).

also, adding to the awesome of today...
pacman. on google. go right now, play, and waste your life away...or at least your afternoon.

broadcasting your biznass on your bumper.

i'm taking a shower this morning, going about my getting ready routine...and on the radio, i hear them talking about a woman is NJ who is being forced by the state to return her vanity plate for her car.

why?

because this is it. i for one applaud the lady for her ingenuity. also, because she said this when she found out she couldn't keep riding dirty....

"It's a plate. It's not a word really. It's made up, and if you want to get technical, it's spelled b-i-o-t-c-h."

hahaha, i love that even she acknowledges that she spelled it wrong. or maybe there's already a BIOTCH plate, and that's who narced on her....anyhoo.

you can read the whole article HERE, but it got me to thinking...what's the deal with the words on your license? i kinda feel like vanity plates are like tramp stamps for cars. occasionally...they work for the person/car. but mostly....they're trashy. and lame. like you got drunk and rolled up the county tag office going "yo, i'm getting me the FLYEST car ever. so put FLIEZT on my tag...cuz someone already has FLYEST."

my sis and i have a running joke...anytime we see awesome plates, we'll try and snap a photo to send each other...or at least text the ridiculousness.

cross my heart, these are legit plates i've spotted around town. no google involved.

this was parked in front of me, at where else....but walmart. i love a spicy drummette as much as the next girl...but come on!! hot wing?! on your car?? not cool sir....not cool.

the sis has also spotted a 'SKITLEZ" plate...apparently, you can't just taste the rainbow, you gotta drive it.

this past weekend brought the best vanity plate thus far into my life....at bath and body works.

really?! topless girl?! on your chrysler SEABRING?!? i know the car's a convertible...but still. this is in no shape or form okay. especially since the lady who got out of the car was at least 45...and not that hot.

GROWN WOMEN ALSO SHOULDN'T PUT PRINCESS FRAMES ON THEIR PLATES. omg.

please tell me i'm not the only one with a love/hate relationship with vanity plates!

does this make him a cradle robber?

this picture cracks me up every time i see it. what's with the creeper stare there hubs??

anyhoo...today is my beloved Nate's 28th birthday!!!!! for 6 weeks...he's 2 years older than me. which i give him crap about 24/7.

so, in honor of my husband's day of birth...i fully intend to make you read through 28 reasons why he's the best guy i know =)

1. he lets me be me. ridiculous voices, stupid jokes, way too many "that's what she said"s, teary eyes at tv shows, stressed when i don't need to be...me.

2. he's a better son than he should be. calls his mom and talks to her when she does nothing but offer a passing interest in his life.

3. he has never let past mistakes dictate his future. i can hardly imagine the man he says he was before we met...but i know i love the real him now.

4. he takes our dogs out every morning and at lunch.

5. he's taller than me, so i can wear all the heels i want.

6. he never makes me take the trash out, because he knows i hate it.

7. he spoils me =)

8. he does funny dances to cheer me up if i'm having a bad day. which are really terribly bad.

9. he STILL wants to kick my douchey ex-boyfriend's ass. even though our breakup lead to us being together. it's still awesome.

10. he always makes coffee....our complex machine is too much for this girl.

11. he's a computer WHIZ. everyone we know calls him/us to get problems fixed.

12. he's turned out to be quite the handyman, and it's awesome seeing him finish a project that he's proud of.

13. he is smarter than he realizes, more driven than anyone i know, and just puts his nose to the grindstone and works. because it's what he does. now if only someone would pay him what he's worth....

14. he looks DAMN good in a tux.

15. he is pop-culturally stupid. which provides me endless entertainment....like when "hypnotize" was on the radio, and i said "RIP biggie" and he said "oh, is that who sings this?".

16. he pretty much let me do whatever i want for our wedding.

17. he's become a part of my family...i think my mom might actually love him more than me. she's all "ooh, nate do you want a soda? a snack?"...."oh, hey hales. get your own foods."

18. he is going to be an AMAZING father one day.

19. he tells me my nails are pretty when i paint them.

20. most of the time...he pumps my gas for me. i'll go sometimes and do it myself because i make him do it so much.

21. he always holds my hand when we're out shopping.

22. he gets into my girly shows with me, and i watch his nerdy boy shows with him. it all evens out.

23. he lets me dress him...good lord, the boy was rocking polos and button-downs from HIGH SCHOOL when we met. no sir.

24. he can eat more food than anyone i've ever seen. it's kind of unbelievable how it all fits in his little skinny frame.

25. he doesn't drink, so he's always the DD when a bunch of us go out. it's kinda great =)

26. he's made my friends' husbands into his best friends....but they really do get along, they'd probably be friends without their wives being close.

27. he tries to pretend to be street...but he's a total goober in real life. and he's mostly a goober with me =)

28. he's mine. ALL MINE.

bonus...he dances with my mom....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE!!!

how many charm necklaces can a girl have?

i alread rock a cupcake, a hammer, a squirrel AND a t-rex...but i just LOVE charm necklaces. they're so fun to wear together (like the dino eating the cupcake...i do that a lot), so when i saw someone blog about an etsy shop with charm necklaces, i had to check it out.

RJ charms on etsy simply makes the CUTEST freaking charm necklaces ever. i want all of them. and the fact that they're all less than $15 makes me want them EVEN MORE!!! i'm seriously contemplating getting all 4 of these...because until may 31st, she's running a buy 3, get 1 free promotion. so for about $40...i could have ALL of these hanging around my pretty little neck.

hello, who doesn't need a little genie luck in their life? or a little christina aguilera sass? it's just TOO. ADORABLE. FOR. WORDS.

umm, a little prairie wagon on my life? DUUUHHHHHH. a solid jersey dress and my boots, with this? gah, i'm dying from the awesome already!!

i don't even sew, but if you tell me there's something cuter than a spool of thread...i'll call you a liar. plus...maybe my t-rex likes to sew. and now he can....around my neck.

is that weird? probably.

and to shake things up, instead of gold....how's about some chinese silver?? everyone loves takeout containers!! and even though i can't use chopsticks to save my life...i could most definitely rock them.

so....what's the reasoning i tell the hubs as to why i wanna spend $$ on a takeout box, a wagon, a spool and a genie lamp? perhaps i won't mention the jewelry part...and then he'll think i'm getting an awesome deal on some knickknacks, a sweet new ride..and a way to get those wishes we've been hankering for.

i need more baggage

as in purses. i need a new one. big time. the outside of my beloved giant green melie bianci or whatever the heck it is is in good condition...but the inside is another story. i should have thought through the whoel satin lining thing....the pocket for my phone has come almost all the way unstitched...because it's satin. and my blackberry is heavy. plus, there's a HUGE hole where seam used to be....and, i'm just kinda in the mood for a new bag. i've had mine for more than a year...and that's saying something for me.

i'm also a bright purse kind of girl...i hate brown and black purses. for me at least. like them for other people, but i'm a freak and if i'm wearing brown, carrying a black purse...i hate it. same for the opposite. but brown and a color purse? fine. same with black.

so i've been browsing...and my girl jessica simpson is on her bright colored purse game lately.

i love both of these bags! well...i guess technically i love this bag in 2 colors...before i got my green purse, i had a yellow one, and LOVED it. not sure about the longer shoulder drop of this bag...but the shape is TO. DIE. FOR.

this is basically the same...but bigger. and considering i have about 4000 lip glosses at any given time...bigger might be better. but at what point does it become TOO big? when you can carry an infant in your purse? steal a ham from the grocery store?
and i kinda love this turquoise color too...it's hard to see, but it's got a snakeskin print on it. and i dig thr hardware....but it would be heavy. on it's own. which was the downfall of my beloved nine west doctor bag that weighed A TON AND A HALF totally empty. gah.

so which is your fave? or do you have another kind of purse you can't live without? help a girl find her dream bright hobo!

loving being southern

of course...it's Summer's friday, i'm in love series...and today ya'll, i'm totally loving my hometown, my home state, my home region, my life below the mason dixon line.

so let's see what simply southern lovelies i'm digging today.

i will TEAR UP a plate of sweet potatoe fries. i love them. maybe more than rgular fries. plus, they make me feel like i'm having more vitamins than regular fries...which is practically like eating veggies, right?

the hubs and i grilled burgers, and these were PERFECTION with it. especially with some ranch for dipping, and seasoned salt....YUMMMM.

and while we were outside grilling...i got a big whiff of this. we have a magnolia in our yard, that goes CRAZY with blooms this time of year!! i've loved the way these smell my whole life...in elementary school, we used to always have kids bring in the buds...and we'd put them in water, and they'd bloom in class. gah, this smell and a warm night is the best thing in the summer. BEST.

and this one isn't super southern...but i cannot WAIT for this new summer collection from essie to come out. basically...i want them all. especially the green. and the pink. and the purple.

yeah, i want them all.

and being the southern girl i am....dresses and skirts are a MUST when it's hot outside. i'm loving this combo that came to me last night...dark blue patterned dress with ruffle at the neck, and my khaki blazer, and my clear necklace...and my sperry's. i'm a topsiders convert!! i LOOOOVE them, they're cute and casual and give this outfit a little nautical punch =)

i'm also really excited that down here, it's already pretty hot...so me and my girls are planning a pool date tomorrow!! my tervis is DYING for some fake sangria (yes, i mix red wine and cran-pom juice. it's the freaking best.)

any southern favorites you're digging today??

contended sigh

+
=

MUCH happier hayley. don't judge what gets me through my day =)

having a moment

i am just in a pissy mood ya'll. and i HATE that!! kinda messes with the chi of the day.

i'm annoyed because my station is giving away a free wedding, and the wedding is live today, and the bride is nothing but ungrateful and whiny, and more trouble than she's worth. meanwhile, this girl is still paying bills for her wedding, so her parents weren't put out financially....so watching little miss attitude be a diva is STRESSING.ME.OUT.

i made this last night and i can't decide if i hate it. it's not exactly what i was planning, because the teal ribbon is too big for the holes in the yellow beads...and i'm not loving it. but i like it okay i guess...but i wanna LOVE it, ya know??

i'm annoyed that the red spots on my ankle seem to have sprouted on my arm a little...but they don't itch. they're just there. ugh.

i'm annoyed that my headband is squeezing my head...but i don't wanna take it off because now i have a heandband dent! and it's been up in a ponytail all day, so i can't wear it down now, because it has a ponytail dent too!!

ugh, i'll be cheery tomorrow.

how publix almost drove me to murder

yesterday afternoon, i had every intention of popping into publix, grabbing my buy 1 get 1 eight o'clock coffee beans, and getting the heck out of dodge. little did i know my trip would put me close to the slammer SEVERAL times.

first off...i'm barely in the parking lot, turn into the lane to get a space...and stop. because the car in front of me has stopped, waiting for a space. and we wait. and we wait.

and i swear to you, i witness this....



this woman in her SUV makes what had to be AN EIGHTEEN point turn to get out of her space. with at least 3-4 feet between her rear bumper and the lady in front of me. so she's got room...she just can't drive.

and then the woman in front of me TRIES TO BACK UP. bitch, i'm right here. quit your backtrackin', and let this hooker get out.

murderous thoughts numero uno.

so now...i've got a basket full o'biznass, waiting to check out. with about a million other people. so i'm waiting, and this dude in front of me sees one of his fratastic buddies two people in front of him. poor old lady sandwiched between them. here's my version of their convo::
Fratty McFratterson: sup brah? haven't seen you in ages. let's drink beer.
Douchey McGee: i knowwwwwwwww!!! let's totally drink beer. are those flowers for your BOYFRIEND? hardee har har.

SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU. converse OUTSIDE THE STORE. not around the poor old lady, and not when it slows up my checking out process.

murderous thoughts numero dos.

fast forward about 5 minutes...and i'm paying for my food. and when the bagger hands me my bags...one has 2 bags of coffee beans, two packages of refrigerated cookie dough, 2 boxes of pasta and a tub of ricotta.

the other day HAS ONE PACKAGE OF GROUND BEEF. is it that hard to maybe separate things a little better?? maybe don't make one bag weigh a pound...and one weigh about 18. i know being a grocery bagger is practically like being a rocket scientists or one of those smart docs on grey's anatomy...but GOOD. LORD.

murderous thoughts numero tres.

and then, when all i wanna do is get home...some driver in front of me goes about 7 under the speed limit and makes me miss not one, BUT TWO GREEN LIGHTS. omg. i really thought i was gonna kill someone before i got home.

at least puck had a solo on glee to make my day better =)

being eaten alive

i'll be the first to admit...i'm lucky. here in the land below the mason dixon line, where the mosquitoes come about as big as your fist...i don't get bitten much. and when i do....they go away in a few hours.

p.s. did you know putting listerine on bug bites will take the itch out? it's amazing!

anyways, i normally don't have to deal with itching and scratching and such...so this morning, when i woke up and my legs were a little itchy...i figured it was dry sky. so i slathered on a little orange sapphire lotion and went on my merry way.

imagine my surprise when i folded myself into my normal backwards-indian-style sitting position in my chair (yes, i sit in my desk chair like a crazy person....but regular leg-crossing makes my foot go to sleep!!)...and i see this.

yes, i did that in microsoft paint. no, i'm not gonna go back and make it bigger.

that is FIVE bug bites of some sort, on my right ankle. and i've got super skinny ankles yo....so it takes a lot to get that many in one space!! i dunno if we had a bug in our bedroom, or i got bitten yesterday outside and it took awhile, or it happened sunday or what. but i am NOT. HAPPY.

also, the "good" dog who did not go to the pet urgent care twice in 7 days decided he needed some attention last night.

so he threw up. twice.

and i literally almost puked myself cleaning it up, because the hubs had gone to pick up pizza. it was grey. i don't know how something grey comes out of a dog...but ick.

at least my bug bites match my shoes.

my new life role model

i have a new goal in life.

it's to be as awesome as betty white.

i literally LOL'd the entire 90 minutes of SNL saturday night....it could NOT have been better if my boyfriend peyton manning had made an appearance. betty rocked it out. at 88 1/2.

I LOVE HER. and so...i'm posting about a million clips from the show, because it was THAT GOOD.

okay, it's just 3....but if you didn't see it...you should watch it on nbc.com.


oh my delicious dish girls...i thought NOTHING would ever be funnier than alec baldwin and his schwetty balls. but dusty muffins?! priceless.



and if you don't laugh at betty white yelling "wizard of ASS"...you might actually be a communist. and hate america. because this woman is all that is right and wondeful about this country....screw the bald eagle, we need betty for our national symbol!!!! bald eagles are so 2002 anyways.

and if betty wasn't awesome enough....there was also the reunion of my 2 other lady crushes....tina and amy. weekend update was NEVER better than with 2 dames at the helm. seriously. i want to be tina fey. i feel like i kinda AM liz lemon. so watch. and laugh. and thank me later.


hope these brought a little humor to your monday morning loves!!

it's like seeing your own future

first off, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!! to all the moms i know, all the soon-to-be moms, and all the eventually-will-be moms =)

so, i gotta give a little love to MY mama, of course.
yeah....we don't look ANYTHING alike. you can barely tell we're related...it's not like i can practically SEE what i'll look like in 27 years or anything...

but anyways, there are LOADS of things i've learned from my mom, that i didn't really appreciate until i got older. like...

~it's not embarrassing to be the loudest table at a restaurant....it probably means you're having the most fun.
~it's not weird to chat up the cashiers at stores, and random strangers while you wait in line....it's just southern hospitality.
~crying at random songs/at random times is kind of unavoidable sometimes...whether i want it or now, i'm a big softie.
~keeping drinks/chairs/games in the car 24/7 isn't odd...it means you're always ready for a party!!

my mom is one of those people that EVERYONE loves. literally. everyone. you might love her more than you love me if you met her....she's got less of an attitude =) so if one day, i can be half the mother she's been to me and my sister...i'll be golden.

also, she takes hilarious photos to appease my sister and i, on the way to pick up my wedding dress.
love you mom!!

i love being smug

oh yes, it's that time again...the amazing idea of the lovely Summer.

so what i am in love with today? being smug. that even though i feel like a terrible pup parent...NO way i'm the worst one.

my little nugget took ANOTHER trip to the pet urgent care last night. it's like he's bound and determined to keep me from watching "the office." and i need my jim and pam fix yo!

he threw up on their floor...and then the loser receptionist took about 15 minutes to clean it up. sorry ma'am...i'm worried about my dog, NOT the fact that he vomited on your floor. you got nothing else to do.

luckily, the little man is fine...doc said his vitals were good, and this morning at his regular vet, he said the little guy's got some upper respiratory issues from all the pollen in the air. clearly...he is his father's child in that respect, cuz this lady don't got no sneeze issues.

anyhoo, while we were at urgent care...the doc there says "i'm glad to see his weight (17 lbs...woo woo!) where it is, because sometimes pugs can be overweight".

ummm...yeah lady. we know. we saw the OTHER pug in the waiting room....that looked like this.

I KID YOU NOT, IT WAS JABBA THE HUT IN PUG FORM.

biggest mother effing pug i have EVER. SEEN. ever. i have never been madder i can't figure out how to turn the camera noise off on my phone.

while we were in our exam room...we heard them call that pug to the scale...and we most definitely hushed up to hear how big this dog really was.

25 POUNDS. 25. compared to my guy's 17. unreal.

also, the dog had 1 eye. which i know is not its fault...but still. it adds to the jabba-ness. also, had a heart problem...PROBABLY CUZ SHE WAS 25 POUNDS OF LARD. your heart would struggle too.

AND we're pretty sure the lady who brought him in was drunk. really drunk. she went outside every 10 minutes...and she wasn't smoking. or talking on the phone. so she was hitting up the airline bottles, intervention style.

hahaha, please tell me someone else has witnessed the wonder that is sylvia. screaming about "her babies" and breaking into wine bottles are her crazy mom's house with a STEAK KNIFE.

side note: sylvia is my 2nd fave intervention ever. 3rd is the blonde girl meth head who throws ramen noodles at her sister's face.

tops is a dude who gets into a physical altercation with his girlfriend's dad over a computer, and winds up crying IN A DRAINAGE DITCH in valdosta, ga. amazing.

so moral of the story is....i might not be able to keep my dog from sneezing and acting like he's dying...but i can save him from a life of obesity and boozers.

letters to tarjay

my beloved target,

we have a real good thing going, you and me. you give me things i want...and i help you stay profitable. it's a win win for us! so...i felt like i needed to provide you a little love letter for the things i'm really thankful for.

dear target,
thank you for showing a commercial on tv for this album. cuz i was MUCH CLUELESS about what to get my mama for mother's day. but now...i'm not. so i 'preciate you helping a sister out.

love,
a formally clueless eldest daughter.

dear MY target,

please have this dress in a large tomorrow night. cuz i love it. and i want it. and the "limited availabilty" on your website search for my store does not make me feel confident. see, if i buy it at the store...i'll buy just this. if i have to order it online...i'll order more. which will make it WAY worse to explain to the hubs...$50 is more than $18. no matter how you slice it.

love,
your favorite jersey dress whore.

p.s.
cardigans like this don't help me save money. the swirls are too fab, and the colors are to die for for summer. so for reals...quit tempting me. you're like a cake fairy..and i'm the fat kid.

birds of a feather

i'll admit...i have an eyeliner problem. i buy them from ulta ALL THE TIME. especially when they're buy 1, get 1...cuz, hello...i use eyeliner every day.

the problem is...sometimes i get fun colors, and then i'm sad when they're not that bright out of the pencil....like, muted-ish, ya know??

i am NOT that girl today.
oooh ya'll, this teal blue liner from ulta is THE. BOMB. it's the perrrrrrfeeeeccccttttt peacock blueish color....enough to know it's NOT navy, but not enough to be all "yo, get back in the 80's playa".

i'm rocking my peacock print liberty of london top today...and it just goes!! gah, i love it. i think it'll be perfect by itself, with some black mascara for a white tee and shorts kind of summer day. plus...full price, it's $7. and waterproof. so it's the best.

and my mantle has a new addition this week.
OMG. it's a shiny silver owl bank. i am obsessed with it. i wheeled it around target friday night for about an hour...and i kept going back and forth about it, because i don't really NEED it (yes i did, i just like trying to convince the hubs i'm not a total freak). it was only $10, so it wasn't so much the price as...i just felt bad about the whole thing.

so we get to the register, and i waffle one last time, for show of course, and the hubs says, no lie "you seem kind of weirdly attached to it. i don't wanna hear about you NOT having it."

and that's basically why we got married...because he gets that i would TOTALLY be that girl, sighing and saying how i wish i had my silver owl.

i also might get the hubs to start putting spare change in it with me, so we can save without really saving and maybe buy us (or let's be honest, me) something fun!

put your hand DOWN little steve!

first off....bonus points if you know what the post title is from. but it's okay if you don't =)

this one's gonna be about shoes...and how i should never be allowed in the shoe dept. in macy's because being surrounded by so many pretties will inevitably lead me nowhere good.
like these. aren't they prettttyyyyyy???? they had them sitting out, the blue ones, magenta ones and yellow ones all in a row....like little gorgeous suede soldiers waiting to come home with me.

side note:: a coworker has on the yellow ones today...and part of me wants to tell her they're cute. and part CANNOT condone the rest of her outfit...which includes a too-dress ruffly black dress, a yellow cardigan THAT I HAVE AND WEAR BETTER, about 5 chain bracelets, big mesh dangle earrings, two big rings, and a necklace that looks like yellow laquered triangles.

she apparently has NO clue you shouldn't wear every accessory that MIGHT match an outfit at the same time...even if none of it goes together.

also, she's a bitch.

mkay, moving on....so i love the blue shoes. we got that. but then....i see something else. a gorgeous nude shoe, suede with a shiny heel, peep toe with a little weaving in the front...sounds great right?? i thought so too...so i looked them up when i got home.

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, THEY COME IN YELLOW.
tell me i don't need these on my feet like....yesterday. maybe 2 days ago.

i am OBSESSED. and the best part?? all of....wait for it.....$50. steve madden, why do you taunt me so?! i know i've tried to be good lately...but i get paid next week. and i REALLLLLLYYYYY want these shoes. how hot would they be with a grey dress? or jeans a turquoise top?

it's gonna be a long wait to next tuesday ya'll.....but these MUST be mine.

figuring out my future

the future...welcome to the scariest word for me right now. and not in the far-off, oooh i wonder what's gonna happen kinda way....in the, 6 weeks from now i will be unemployed kinda way.

and yes, i'm doing it on purpose. by choice. i'm so unhappy at my job...and the nature of my work is that contracts are involved, that require large sums of money to get out of...so either i sign another one in june, and stay stuck here til june 2011....or i join the ranks of the jobless.

so jobless it is.

and so i've been trying to figure out what comes next.
i doubt i'd be a very good panhandler....mostly because i like to dress in cute outfits, and that doesn't really scream "put your change in my cup."

and the hubs won't let me go the "hooker with a heart of gold" route....bummer right?? everyone wants to be julia telling off those salesladies..."you work on commission right? big mistake. HUGE."

and so...i'm weighing other options.

like this one. Stella & Dot. i was at a jewelry party for a different company yesterday, and i thought "hmm...i might could do this." i'm pretty cheerful, and fairly good at chatting people up...which i guess is kinda key to getting people to buy your jewelry, or book your parties. plus, it's jewelry...which i LOOOOVE. and the stuff is adorable.

i don't really know how it all works...but it seems intriguing. and for a girl with a wicked shopping habit....i can't NOT try and make money. i'll go nuts!!

so do any of you have any experience doing the whole sales thing? any tips? should i run away screaming? and more importantly...would you buy from me?