i wanna be her BFF

in our world of constant access to television and internet, and the juggernaut that is reality programming...it's easy to pick and choose heroes and villians, without ever knowing any of these "celebrities" at all.

but sometimes...i see people on tv, and i think to myself...we'd be friends. i do the same with all of you...even if you're just words on my computer screen, i feel like i "know" you, and consider a lot of you my friends.

so, i've been anxiously awaiting the return of one of my television besties.

it's true...i am OBSESSED with bethenny frankel.

i never really watched her season of real housewives, being a die hard atlanta fan and all...but bravo being bravo, i did catch a marathon of "bethenny getting married" one day.

and i have loved her potty-mouthed dramatic self since then. i LOVE her. i think everyone should use the phrase "_____ until your penis falls off" all. the. time.

and during last night's premiere, in between the hilarity of finding poo in the car, and getting her boobs measured...she also visited her husband's hometown.

and got really emotional when his hometown friends mentioned that being with them is about jason staying with his roots. and he said he loved her more in that dive bar than he ever had before.

because she was trying to understand where he came from. even though it's drastically different than her upbringing.

and i had this feeling wash over me, of KNOWING that feeling. of wanting the person you love to understand your life before them, to really get who you were before they came into your life...and why your life is so much better now.

because no matter how good i had it when i was a kid, and how awesome my family is...it's even better getting to share all that awesomeness with someone else.

maybe it's because nate is out of town for a few days, and i feel so...LOST. it sounds dumb, but we literally are together all the time, and have been since we started dating. he's my other half, and he's the person who gets me the most...and without him here, i feel so off.

plus, our house is old, and it totally freaks me out and convinces me there's a killer waiting for me.

luckily...i've my swedish fish stash, and my dogs, and episodes of grey's and one tree hill to tide me over until i pick him up from the airport =)