a little tuesday reflection

i'm a glee-k, i'll admit it. i rock out to both soundtracks in my car, i'm giddy like a school girl when the show is on, and i'm soclose to a grief counselor for the fact that it won't be back into APRIL. damn fox execs and their allegiance to idol....

anyhoo, i'm doing what i do this morning, and the rain has finally stopped and the sun is peaking through the clouds, and at that moment, THIS SONG comes on. go listen, then come back =)

see, i have a serious emotional connection to "lean on me"....more than just about any other song. i contemplated playing it at the wedding, but i was afraid i'd bawl even more than i already did.

see, my grandfather is hands down one of my favorite people in the world. when i was a kid, he used to let me drive in the pasture at their house, and he and my grandmother had cows i got to feed, and i had one of my own named "bebe". i used to yell 'COY!!" at the top of my lungs in store bathrooms to hear the echo, because that's how he taught me to call the cows.

when i was 9, he died from colon cancer. i'm so blessed that i really don't have any bad memories of him...just good ones. once he got really sick...my sister and i didn't go visit anymore, and i'm so thankful that's the case.

anyway, the day he died, he'd been in and out of consciousness all day. my mom and grandmother were in the room with him, and had the radio on to drown out the machine beeps....when "lean on me" came on. and he woke up. and was lucid. and talked to both of them, and told them he loved them.

and then he was gone.

we literally had to change the radio station when this song came on for about 5 years. my mom would be a wreck. then slowly...she embraced it. we all did.

to this day, anytime i hear this song...i have to listen to the whole thing. if i need a good cry...i put it on. if i need a really good smile and to have my heart warmed...i put this song on.

it's like my papa jr's way of telling me he's watching out for me, and watching over me =)