Friday, January 28, 2011

if you've got a problem...i'll probably listen in on it

this? is me.

okay...not REALLY me, cuz that's a dude...and i'm not. but the point is...i'm a serial eavesdropper.

i am ALL UP in people's conversations. all the time.

it started in college, when i rode a bus like 30 minutes after class every day to get back to my parking deck...when i was alone, i'd just zone out the window...and listen to other people talk.

and now i can't stop.

the hubs and i will be at walmart or something, waiting in line and i'll ask him if he heard what the people next to us were talking about. he NEVER does...which greatly concerns me, because hello, how else can i mock them if i have to explain the sitch to him?!

anyways...today, i went to the hair salon with a friend, because 1) we had not hung out this week, and 2) going to the salon with someone else is better than sitting at home alone, watching dog the bounty hunter...with my dogs.

so stylist is working on her, i'm chillaxing nearby...and then in comes this blonde girl. and the minute she starts talking, i realize it.

SHE'S A BRAIN SUCK.

one of those people who talks...and talks...and talks. and you can literally feel the brain cells in your head screaming out for nourishment...and all they're getting is nothing. AT ALL.

here's a little combo of what she prattled on about:
1) how she totaled her car hydroplaning.
2) how the police told her she wrecked because she hit black ice (which i'm pretty sure is NOT the same as hydroplaning...it's hitting black ice)
3) her car was towed out of the ravine...and that's what totaled it (so maybe don't imply that your car was totaled in the wreck, huh?? cuz having the axle jacked up from a tow is NOT really the same)
4) how she wanted to do something different with her hair, but mom told her not to...and there comes a point when you can't argue with mom anymore (who's mom tells them how to do their hair?!)
5) getting her picture taken for a local magazine tomorrow was going to involve something "cute" like sitting on the edge of a sofa with her sketchpad, NOT something "boring" like sitting at a desk.
6) continually saying her hair was messed up because another stylist "stripped" it.
7) saying she doesn't really even know what "stripped" means.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! i couldn't even take the stupid...there was THAT much of it. like being smothered by stupidity.

and to think...if i wasn't such an eavesdropper...those poor brain cells of mine would still be alive, all tina fey and smart...but now? just jessica simpson.

3 comments:

Erin @ Sassin' Southern Style said...

Let me let you in on a little secret. The first 4 months at my new job, I would spend about half of my day with my chair rolled as closely as possible to the wall so I could hear all of the juicy conversations going on around me. Seriously. Chair|wall.

Ashley said...

love love love your blog! I'm a new reader.

www.mylifeasacrazycatlady.blogspot.com

anna p of just me. said...

hahaha! great story! i am a hair stylist and i know the type of girl you're talking about. they come in and jabber your ear off so you don't even have to open your mouth once. not even to say "mmmhhhhmmm" or "are you serious?"