in the spirit(s) of the season

happy friday ya'll!!!

so, the hubs and i have no big plans for halloween....tomorrow is our close friend's birthday, and since he wants to grill out and hang at home...we're doing that. instead of heading out n the town for a night of costumed craziness.

also, my town has decided that kids are trick-or-treating tomorrow night instead of sunday. so we won't even be home to hand out candy. maybe when i'm a parent i'll understand this...but from my end, it seems crazy. usually, trick-or-treating is over by 9 anyways, right?? so it's not like your little ones are losing that much sleep. plus, there will be less adult-aged crazies out on sunday.

ANYHOO....i figured in honor of halloween....i'd take a little trip down jack-o-lantern memory lane.

aww, the first pumpkins we ever carved together, circa 2007! this was outside our townhouse we rented...and the year i learned i have a freakish talent for scooping the guts out of pumpkins. seriously...i rule.

mine's on the right, nate is on the left.

the first pumpkins at our house, in 2008. note how mine, on the left, has eyelashes and everything. she's girly and pretty =)

sadly, we had to skip last year, since we got back from our honeymoon 4 days before halloween...so we were just trying to get back into the groove.

and here they are this year!! we carved sunday...then it stormed monday and rained tuesday too...so they sat inside for a few days and kinda...wilted.

like see how their teeth look curved in like little old people??

do you carve pumpkins? also...did you know you can use a rotary tool like a dremel and knock out that carving super fast?? the hubs teaches me something semi-useful every day...

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

someone has had TOO many cocktail times

if you love some food network like i do....chances are, you have "enjoyed", also known as "watched in horror and mocked" the lovely kitchen wizard known as sandra lee.

she makes "truffles" out of cake frosting...and every show ends with cocktail time, and a tablescape that will literally set your retinas on fire. or make you question your sanity. or usually both.

well, today was her annual halloween episode...and let me tell you, aunt sandy did NOT disappoint.

first off...she's at the renaissance fair. which, to be clear, is NOT about halloween....but just dressing up all the time. as a knight or a wench or something crazy. she starts as maid marion, of robin hood fame....sure, i can get on board with that. you're in the woods sandra, no big....

but then, came the engine of the crazy train, bound for sandra town...


OMG WHAT IS ON HER HEAD?!

does it not look like her hair is trying to consume her skull?? or escape its evil clutches and run away??

true story...she claims this costume is "queen of the fairies". sure sandy....if that's what the voices tell you.

also, LOVE the toilet paper in the background...apparently those sherwood forest parties get CRAAAAZY late night....who needs actual decorations when you can just TP a tree?

if you're wondering what delicious, or psychotic creation she's working on...it's cheesecake slices. drizzled with white chocolate. and then COVERED IN EDIBLE GLITTER OR PEARLS OR SILVER BALLS. cuz that's how the fairies roll you know.

oh yeah, and instead of being on a stick....the cheesecakes had a stick with a giant white feather attached. literally, this woman has issues.

and in case you want a "queen of the fairies" cocktail for a little sandra channeling of your own...here ya go.

• 2 shots half-and-half
• 2 shots vanilla vodka
• 2 shots white chocolate liqueur
• 1/2 shot hazelnut liqueur

garnish with a side of STRAIGHT UP LOONEY TUNES.

if ypu have to ask if you've got too many...do you?

once again....it's all about the clothes lust. the fact that apparently, i can NEVER be happy with the temperature, and all i want is a little cooler/warmer/dryer/wetter, depending on what's going on my closet that i wanna rock.

and let me tell you right now, old navy is pulling out the big guns for all my keeping warm needs.

and i'll be the first to admit...i'm a coat addict. especially peacoats. i love them ALL. except black ones....cuz i feel like coats the way i do about umbrellas....if you've gotta use one, might as well make it awesome and bright and pretty, right?!

technically....i already have a pink coat. i got a lightweight pink peacoat last year at target....BUT this one is long. and so pretttttyyyyyyy
and of course, i NEED a green one. NEED. ignore the fact i have grey, cream, red, blue and pink already....i'm a redhead dangit!!! i MUST have a green one in my life. plus, how freaking cute will this be with skinnies and brown boots?! i can't even take the awesome.
yellow. for. winter.

do i even need to explain why i need this?? THE RUFFLES PEOPLE. THE RUFFLES.
AAAAAAAND since i feel like most of my coats are kinda dressier....i need a casual one.

maybe NEED is a little exaggeration, BUT look at the toggles!!! they're like button's lazy cousins. i adore them. plus it has a hood for when it rains, or when my ears are trying to freeze off. and the hood comes off.

gah, damn you old navy and your mostly less than $75 coats. and the fact that you mailed me a 30% off coupon for this weekend.

and damn you mason dixon line, for keeping it warmer down here longer.

and damn you mother nature for also keeping it less crisp...i need some snap in my weather!!!

does it count as buying a new coat (or 2) if i donate some i have and don't wear to a charity? can i convince the hubs of the value of good karma, in dollar amounts??

wish i had swagger like this

i feel like i need to apologize ahead of time for this one...

not because it's not outstanding, because it SO IS, but because should you watch the video below....this song will be in your head FOR DAYS.

don't say i didn't warn you....and behold the awesomeness of the youngest smith sibling.



willow girl, you are FLY. i love your song. i love that you, at nine years old, have a total sense of who you are and how you wanna dress and be.

plus, you're just whipping your hair...not acting a fool and being slutty, which i appreciate. kickin' high-tops and crazy hair i can get on board with....forgetting your underpants i cannot (i'm looking at you britney and lindsay).

plus, i kinda love your dad. he was totally awesome on the fresh prince, where HELLO he met your mama! i spent a good part of the late 90's gettin' jiggy with it...and i love watching him beat up that alien in the desert every time i watch independence day.

your brothers seem pretty cool....they're real cute too. but you girl....you bring it.

so keep it up, cuz i am loving these beats. and the paint flinging hair thing...that's pretty sweet too.

also, we BOTH know you screw up and act a little too whorey....jada will NOT be pleased. and we know she's the regulator in the smith house.

love,

wants to whip her hair. but afraid she might throw her neck out.

who's the david letterman of india?

alright kids, i'm back to the "grind"...or the "sitting at home with the dogs trying not to spend all our money".....

anyhoo, everyone knows the BEST way to recap a madcap wedding weekend is with a top ten list.

a little list i like to call....WHY EVERYONE NEEDS AN INDIAN BFF.

10. indian weddings aren't one night. they're like a week of events. so if you're in said wedding....you get to party for DAYS.

9. the mehndi is pretty freaking sweet. even if it means keeping your hands still for an extended amount of time.

8. the food. sweet lord, the food. more delicious appetizers and spicy sauces and naan until you die....AMAZING.

7. also....open bar = amazing. wine hangovers suck....but whiskey ones make me feel like a hug from unicorn or something

6. maybe it's just my friend's family....but we learned indian families are SO welcoming!! we made friends, we chatted, we bonded...it was great.

5. wearing a bindi and NOT looking vintage gwen stefani.

4. the music is totally different from what i'm used to...and totally awesome.

3. the more bangles and sparkles, the better. UP MY ALLEY YO.

2. THE CLOTHES ARE AMAZING. for realz....saris kick bridesmaid dresses in the face. it's like the fanciest, most comfortable pj's on earth.

1. if you can talk your indian friend into getting married the weekend of your first anniversary, it's like a party for you too!!!!

basically, my friend and i are trying to figure out how to scam our way into another indian wedding, because we love them.

anyone else been to/been in a different kind of wedding?

*disclaimer for any douches who might flame me for this total generalization of a post....yes, i KNOW there are traditions behind all these parties, and serious religious tenants at the ceremonies...and that stuff was awesome too. but that's kind of the backbone of ANY wedding...i wanted to highlight the extra awesome. so shut it.

they'll never pick me out of the crowd

i have a to-do list full of things like packing and running errands today...because come tomorrow morning, i'm headed to FL for a jam-packed wedding weekend!!

p.s. when your hubs commutes 100 miles every morning, and he has to drop you off at the airport...you have to wake up at FIVE A-M. major planning fail.

anyhoo, this isn't just any plain old wedding....this will be quite the fancy affair.
and i will totally be katherine heigl in 27 dresses.

that's right...this girl is going full-on bollywood as a bridesmaid in an indian wedding =)

i'm pretty freaking excited, and my super awesome sari is chillaxin upstairs, waited to be packed up and put on saturday.

and yes, i will TOTALLY be the whitest girl there. i've already warned the bride she's gonna have such a hard time finding me in the sea of all her relatives (and i may or may not already be mentally preparing for coming home a solid 20 lbs heavier, just from food. and cake of course....cuz i'm a wedding cake FIEND).

BUT....i've gotta figure out what to do with my 'do.

normally, i just got standard knotted updo for weddings....nothing super fancy, just something to look dressy and nice in pictures.

BUT since this is an indian wedding, and it's beachside...i was thinking something a little different...but i want your opinions.
option 1 is a la miss natalie...who i am totally obsessed with. i love the curls in it, so it doesn't look too "done"...but it still looks pretty and formal-ish.
option 2 is a little more modern, and a little more un-done when it comes to updos. my hair is almost the same color as emma's right now, and i'm DEFINITELY pale like she is...so it's kinda like seeing the hair on myself. except she's way hotter. and jonah hill has never tried to make out with me.

do you think #2 is dressy enough for the occasion? since the wedding is by the beach, i figure it'll be breezy...and with my fine hair, the messier might camouflage any whispies that make their way out of my hair when the wind blows.

help me get my hair hot!

3 pedals is 50% more than 2 pedals...

i'll be the first to admit...i kinda don't like my car.

and my don't like...i mean i'm tired of the locks not working right, the air turning itself off, the fact that i have 2 working speakers, NOT 4...and it's got manual windows. MANUAL WINDOWS. in 2010. honest to goodness...it drives me batty.

but for right now...it works. BUT the hubs and i are working on a plan to trade mine in for a more fuel-efficient car for him and his epic commute...
cuz see this?? this is his car. his beloved rosalyn. who is now ALL his, after we finished paying it off earlier this year. BUT when you're putting 204 miles on a car EVERY DAY, a mustang ain't exactly the greenest vehicle on earth.

but the problem with her, while she is pretty and fun...is that she's a 5 speed. which means if the hubs gets a different car to drive...i've got this.

AND I'VE NEVER DRIVEN A STICK BEFORE.

soooo.....the hubs decided to teach me today.

cue the terrifying music, i know i was hearing some in my head!!!
see, i'm used to THAT side of the car....willing passenger, navigator, and obviously...controller of the tunes.

but today...i was on the left side.

after some explanations from the hubs, and a stall out or 2....i was totally getting it!! i was like a total stick-shift rock star, wind in my hair with the top down, mirrored aviators on, doing my thang.

except i only got to 2nd gear. in a parking lot. going around in circles, and parking.

BUT i didn't kill us, and the hubs said i was way better than he expected, AND i didn't give him whiplash once. score one for the redhead yo.

all that clutch pushing is HARD. i did not expect quite so much to think about....

i won't lie....i'm a little skerred about actually going on the street. which is apparently lesson numero dos...in our neighborhood.

but i cannot WAIT to get good, so when it cools off a little i can drive my pretty little self around, blasting some sweet music and singing along and HOPEFULLY not being a total freakshow.


but the most important question....

do i "accidentally" aim for the peeps down the street who i SWEAR UP AND DOWN were burning a couch in the front yard over the weekend??

single lady shenanigans

6 days from today is my 1 year anniversary. one year since i got legally binding documents saying the hubs has to put up with my crazy =)

and so...i figured you might want a little inside look at our big day...

and if you don't care...well, there's lots of pretty pictures!!

i spent the night before my wedding at a hotel with my best friends and my little sis. best idea ever.
of course, we started the night with champagne!! and yes...we're watching QVC in the background., they were selling fake bangs. and there was a moment after a few sips of champ that we ALMOST ordered some. just for kicks.

but girls can't camp out in a hotel room all night....or at least my friends can't.

so, what began as a simple celebration of my last night of singlehood turned into one of the most ridiculous things i've ever done.
and it started with THIS button.

you know in hotels how one elevator has 2 doors?? we HAD to see what was behind the rear door.

was it a secret CIA lair? a breakroom for disgruntled employees? an underground rave??

sadly no....it's the housekeeping storeroom. where they keep everything on their little carts....pillows, sheets, and ALL the toiletries you could ever want.

so, of COURSE that means a late-night photo shoot.
it's also pitch-black dark in there...and we didn't want to turn the light on. so we relied on our cell phone lights, plus the camera flash to spend about 10 minutes acting absolutely ridiculous, taking pics and giggling...and maybe, just MAYBE swiping some stuff.
you mean you've never gotten pocketfuls of shampoo and instant coffee and shower caps on a midnight recon mission??

okay..maybe you haven't. but you ought to.

i have no idea whether to blame our craziness on the bubbly, or adrenaline about the next day, or whatever....but while it was a little childish and stupid, our heist also kept me from getting nervous about the wedding...and i slept like a ROCK that night, and woke up totally ready on saturday morning!!

anyone else have some rehearsal night tomfoolery?

my fingers look like space

cuz right now, i'm rocking the above look, except mine is over OPI's "lincoln park after dark", so it's sorta like fashion-y space, what with the dark purple and all.

yes, it's time to admit...i'm a sparkle polish FIEND. i can remember rocking holographic rectangular glitter polish from maybelline i think back in high school.

if it looks like it belongs in a drag queen show, i want it on my fingers.
take this beauty, the apparently much-coveted OPI "mad as a hatter" polish from the small alice in wonderland collection.

i just bought it cuz it looked awesome. it's also a BITCH to get off my nails....but it's a price i'll pay for sparkle. (anyone got any secrets for getting this stuff off, without a belt sander?!)

and when it comes to sparkles and drag queens, NOTHING beats a little movie tie-in, featuring cher and xtina.
that's right, apparently this winter, instead of the usual holiday OPI collection, they're doing a collection that ties in with the release of "Burlesque".

and i am basically dying.

because it's SIX obnoxious glitter polishes (plus 6 more, but i only have my eye on 1 of those i think...and it's hot pink with hot pink glitter. told you i had a problem.)

if you wanna see all the swatches, Scrangie did an awesome job of it...and it's soooo....muchhhh....sparkllleeeeeee

so, i'm anxiously awaiting november 2nd when this bad boy collection debuts....cuz i neeeeeds it.

like....well, like a drag queen needs glitter. i AM 5'10" after all....

an ode to harvest deliciousness

dear mallowcreme pumpkins,

you are my most favoritest fall treat.

seriously, you blow those sour apple/caramel lollipops out of the water...and that whole "pumpkin spice latte" biznass? not a chance it will take away my love for you.

your label says "made with honey", and even has a little beehive....but i don't know if that's honey i love. it's just sweet, orangey goodness.

i love how you turn my tongue pink, NOT orange. it's nice of you.

also, i like that you come in GIGANTIC bags...no little servings for this girl. also, you're sturdy....i can throw a few of you in the little pocket in my purse, for snacks throughout the day. and ignore everyone who's judging us right now....they don't understand our love.

i'm real glad i waited until this weekend to reignite the flame of our love....mostly because if i had indulged when i first saw you gleaming on the store shelves a few weeks ago...i'd already be on bag 2. or 3.

so, let's keep this romance going shall we? at least until thanksgiving...

love,
hayley

p.s. don't let candy corn talk smack, you are SO. MUCH. BETTER. than those bitches. and really ignore the "harvest" corn, they suck.

p.p.s. i only cheat on you with circus peanuts when i HAVE to. like springtime.