i think my body is turning on me

so apparently....i'm not as young as i used to be.

long ago, in a land far away known as "college"....i could go on little sleep, a lot of booze, and a lot of shopping.

now....notsomuch.

i spent all day thursday with my family and got up not-at-all bright and early for a little black friday shopping! did some damage to my bank account....but also did some damage to my christmas list!

then friday afternoon the hubs and i hit the road for the less-than-200 mile trek back to the other place my heart lives....athens, georgia.

home of the university of georgia, and hands down some of the most awesome experiences of my late teens and early 20's. cuz college is awesome and i miss it. and going back makes me a happy hayley.
this place is like my church. aka a football stadium. more specifically, THE football stadium of the georgia bulldogs. my boys. and those 92,000+ seats were filled with family =) minus the losers of course....

but 3 days of little sleep and lots of walking, drinking and of course screaming my head off saturday night have made my trachea rebel.

so be thankful this little blog is a text-only kind of thing....because otherwise you might be subjected to my slowly weakening voice....my guess is i'll be a bullfrog by wednesday morning. if not earlier.

oh yeah, and it feels like i'm trying to get a cold sore. NOT. AWESOME.

snacking like santa

i love thanksgiving/christmas/winter holidays.

i love being with my fam, and checking out lights, and belting out tunes about jesus and mistletoe and snowmen. but most of all....

most of all i love the food.

and my kitchen cabinets are all aglow right about now with loads of delicious christmasy treats.
dear candy cane oreos,

don't tell regular oreos...or even the double-stuffed ones....but you are my favorite of all the oreos. first off...you have 2 colors in your cream...so that's pretty awesome. secondly...your cream isn't just minty, it also has little bits o'candy cane in it. and that makes it minty and crunchy at the same time. so keep doing what you do.

love,
your loyal christmastime fan.

p.s. you, me and a batch of white chocolate are gonna have a threesome soon. get ready for the awesomeness.


dear gingerbread graham crackers,

thanks for existing. really. i mean it. i feel like i have known you my whole life, even from way back in elementary school...

yes, i remember taking regular graham crackers, and gluing them to milk cartons for the saddest christmas craft ever. but NOW, now i can make a real live gingerbread house...with graham crackers. cuz let's be honest...i'm not gonna make a REAL one. but i can probably manage a little fake one with some glue frosting.

love,
wanna be a bakery builder.

p.s. you make real good smores too.


dear dole,

BLESS YOU. bless you for making these little cups of deliciousness. bless you for making it possible for me to have a little taste of apple pie at 11pm on a thursday, without having to go all martha stewart, and take a break from my insider trading to make a perfect flaky pie crust. plus, it's fruit and granola....so it's practically some wheatgrass or wheat germ or something. okay, maybe not THAT healthy since it tastes like apple pie...but it's gotta be better than my BFF the oreos.

love,
i. love. pie.

it's the good kind of burn

was anyone else a girl scout? rocking the horrid little brown jumper and funny hat as a brownie??

yeah....me too. until i quit because they moved our meetings or whatever they were called to friday nights. and this girl was NOT missing her weekly date with cory mathews and the step-by-step family.

anyways, the hubs and i have been taking a trip down campfire lane lately (i never actually MADE a campfire as a girl scout...but i did sleep through a tornado at a slumber party once).
oooh, look at that burn, the glowy embers are the best to poke with a stick....cuz they are. duh.

it's been warmish here during the day, but at night it's pretty chilly, so on the weekends we set up camp in our backyard and fire this pit up. we even bought a bellows! you know...those things you puff air into a fire with....cuz i got tired of fanning with a paper plate trying to get the flames up.
and what's a fire without smores?! NOTHING I TELL YOU. a fire hasn't met it's full potential without at least marshmallows. it's like a high school kid getting C's, but could get A's if only he'd apply himself!!

and yes....we rock THREE kinds of chocolate for our smores party. and 2 kinds of graham crackers. and approximately 27 kinds of marshmallows.

okay, 5.

1. regular
2. caramel vanilla swirl
3. chocolate vanilla swirl
4. tiny gingerbread ones that we didn't actually break out yet...but we will
5. and last, but CERTAINLY not least, regular mallows the size of baseballs. cuz they are AWESOME.

we've even perfected how to melt the chocolate...cuz when it's 45 degrees out, just the heat of the marshmallow does NOT cut it. but a graham cracker with the chocolate, put on a grill spatula and held over the fire DOES.

anyone else love a good dose of burning? any fancy smores recipes we oughta be trying out?

mama needs to make some money

because i have kinda been spending the moola like crazy lately. and it's showing NO signs of stopping....OOOOPPPPSSS.

got this super adorable, super long, super sequined cardigan this weekend.

FROM KMART. not even kidding...mom and i ran in there to waste some time, and i came out with this....and mayyyyybeeeeee some flannel pj's with cupcakes on them. maybe. possibly.

and so, imagine my trauma when target.com decides to offer buy 1, get 1 50% off on boots.

cuz i HATE me some boots. (total sarcasm, i love boots. LOVE. i have recently rocked boots over jeans, with a tee-shirt because despite the warmer temps, it's november gosh darnit!!)

i've had my eye on these for awhile....they're actually dark grey, and i think i'd rock these more than black ones....cuz most of my wardrobe goes with brown neutrals. so i don't need black and grey....at least casual ones.

i still have my eye on some SUPER smokin' knee-high high-heeled black boots that the hubs likes to joke would be my way to earn "extra income".

and speaking of brown boots...i already have THREE PAIRS. three.

but aren't these pretty?????? don't they look like frye's....but at only $60, they're waaaayyyyyy cheaper.

BUT they're $60. and i don't know for sure the calves will even fit my scrawny legs. or if i'd be able to get pants down into these, which is how i'd want to wear them.

do i get them, and put them on the credit card to delay payments for a bit, so my friends and family actually get christmas this year? do we think $75 is good for 2 pairs of boots?

and any tips on keeping the stay-at-home wife spending guilt under control? (without actually NOT spending, thank you very much ;))

add this to my christmas list, black bart be damned

i hate sporting goods stores.

dick's, academy sports, etc...i hate them all. i have no use for them. i'm a heels and fun jewelry girl, NOT an underarmour, special running shoes kind of girl.

i just feel so...out of place in these places. usually i only go to get presents for my soccer-loving sis, or my hunting-loving cousin.

and now, the hubs is on a crazy paintball kick...so we go. a lot more than i'd like. and usually i grumble.

but imagine my glee seeing this yesterday!


omg. can i have it?? even with no use for it??

cuz i LOVE "a christmas story". LOVE.

any idea what a girl like me needs with a red ryder carbine action 200 range model air rifle???

i am my father's child

my dad is one of those kinds of guys that you KNOW didn't know what to do with daughters at first. and he has 2. when we were kids, we got all sorts of traditional "boy" presents, like huge styrofoam airplanes, and silly string, and one of those remote controlled race car tracks.

and we totally loved them. even thought now i know part of the reason he bought them was so HE could play.

anyhoo, daddy-o has worked some kind of construction/maintenance/contracting job since i was a babe. soooo...i know my way around a hardware store. i dig tools.

i have also, on more than several occasions, reminded the hubs how lucky he is that his wife will suggest a trip to lowe's or home depot if we have nothing to do...cuz i like looking.

except not at the lame, practical stuff like wires and electrical boxes and switches and crap. BOOOORRRRRIIIIIINNNNGGGGG.

if you're a tool-lover, or have one in your life....the holidays are PRIMO for finding sweet things that serve a purpose, but are also awesome.

i'm such a fan of multi-tasking, so the multi-tool is right up my alley. i actually bought the hubs a leatherman, which is apparently like the bomb-diggity multi-tool a few years ago, when he was just the boyfriend.

like check this bad boy out. it's got 17 things on it!!! 17!! i don't have that many different pieces of functional items in my purse!

and it's $15 at lowe's. so that's less than a dollar a doo-dad. plus, that's totally a bottle opener on the left. SCORE.

true story...this one looks way more fierce than the blue one, right? it's cuz this is the outdoors multi-tool. the bear grils of the multi-tool world. you know....rugged and outdoorsy, BUT has a crew of cameramen making sure he doesn't die while eating bear poo or whatever the eff he does out in the woods.

i don't do woods...so i don't know. but if you love some camping...OR you want your hubs to up his chances of survival when he gets banished to the yard for being a dumbass....this is your best bet on the stocking stuffer front. it's also $15...a small price to pay for your own life against the wilderness, right???

also...has a bottle opener. so if the bears are circling....pop a cold one and enjoy your last moments of NOT being mauled.

ahhh, my orange beauty. the one i flat-out told the hubs he could totally put in my stocking. cuz it's awesome. it's the home decor multi-tool.

this ish has a level, and a pencil, and a pencil sharpener, and a hole starter!!! so basically, this and a hammer (and nails of course) are all you need for a little picture hanging in your casa.

and seeing as how i'm kinda picture-hanging-challenged...i want this. i NEED this. it's all together!! in one thing!!

i'm a little miffed the home decor doesn't have a bottle opener....but they probably figure any self-respecting woman who wants one of these already has a bottle opener. and a corkscrew. cuz we have our priorities in order....booze, THEN decor.

hope this gave you some ideas for the handy men and women in your life! any other tool-loving ladies like me??

i'm sending nuttin' for christmas

unless i get my freaking act together already!!

2 years ago, the then-fiance and i (let's get real, i did ALL the work) sent out christmas cards with our super-fab engagement pictures on them.

then last year, the holidays came rolling on me like a big old train, and since we got back from our honeymoon 4 days before halloween...i was in a total daze. and it was thanksgiving before i knew it. and i totally skipped out on christmas cards, trying to get thank you's done.

so this year...it's back on the wagon peeps!!

and since i've had decent luck with shutterfly in the past (holla to my free photobook a few years back!), i figured i'd check out the offerings.

plus, they're totally hooking up bloggers who blog about them. and i ain't above a little shameless promotion =)

you can see all the holiday cards here, but you KNOW i've got my faves.

bright colors? swirly font? doesn't look like everyone else's card?? YES. PLEASE.

i love all the photo options on this one....except i realized after our wedding...the hubs and i have approximately 4 photos together. tragic.

one good photo?? one i can come up with...and for some reason, i'm totally digging the black christmas cards!! it's like a white christmas....but opposite.
and i am obsessed with this one. it's traditional....but funky too, with the fancy holey font. BUT it's a folded card...so i'd have to write something in them all. and that's a lot of work.

and clearly, i am wicked lazy. i'm basically trying to get YOU to pick my christmas card.

heck, i'm still trying to decide just HOW big of a faux pas putting a wedding picture on our christmas cards this year would be. probably pretty tacky....but it's that, or random pics of our faces and the dogs in the snow from our freak snowstorm earlier this year.

if you're REALLY on the ball, they've got thanksgiving cards too....but i'm not that on it.

and since i KNOW i'm not the only one interested in 50 free cards, check out the link HERE to sign up for yours!

my new jam

you know how sometimes you're just going along with your life, and then a friend plays a song for you?

and then that song is your new favorite thing, and you can't get it out of your head, and wanna play it 24/7?

yeah....i got me one of those. my girl brooke played this song for me last week when we were talking about our mutual love for car dancing....and let me tell you, it's the perfect soundtrack for little red-light rumba if you know what i mean.

i totally just made up "red light rumba" by the way.



hope this makes your monday a little more danceable!!

i know it's less than a week after halloween

BUT i am having a little christmas meltdown around these parts.

not because i have any intention of skipping over the much-beloved turkey day...i'm pretty freaking pumped i actually get to spend ALL of thanksgiving with my family. and my husband. not getting up and going to work, rushing through shows, and getting the heck out of dodge to make it to lunch at 2:30. <~~ this is why tv news SUCKS. BAD.

no, it's not just about my giddiness over seeing decorations out or hearing the hubs plot his griswold-esque plan of attack on our yard and home. (even though he is a straight-up christmas HEATHEN, because when i mentioned said imminent griswolding he goes "griswolding? what are you talking about?" honestly...some days i question how i married a man who's NEVER SEEN christmas vacation)

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT CHRISTMAS MUSIC I COULD PEE MY PANTS.

that's right, i said it. i'm a junkie. and like any good addict...i need my yearly fix. at LEAST one new christmas album every year. i figured i'd be set this year with the target EP release from lady antebellum. but NOOOOOO....the music industry got out the big guns. what's that you say?? ANOTHER mariah carey christmas album?? another version of my favorite "cheer me up christmas style and belt in my car alone" song, known as "all i want for christmas is you"??

say it ain't so universe!! plus, the obnoxiousness of the cover alone would make me want it. it's like a drag queen noel around these parts. don't you just wanna hang out with that dead-eyed plastic snowman on whatever crazy rooftop this party is on? i know i do.

but then, i go to check amazon and see the reviews for miss carey/mrs. cannon's new tunes...and what do i see when i go browsing around the "you may also like" link....

.....

wait for it....

SHUT. YOUR. FACE.

i literally had to stop myself from jumping up and down and squealing.

IT'S GLEE AND CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!! it's like mark salling himself dressed as santa, and came down my non-functioning chimney for a little holiday crooning. and ONLY CROONING HUSBAND OF MINE. only crooning.
(totally NOT only crooning. salling's on my list)

so yes....i am all aflutter at the thought of getting this album on the 16th...and will probably break my "no music before thanksgiving" rule....cuz i can.

any other junkies?

you haven't lived until you've pulled out a nub

do you have one of those friends that every random thing that could possibly happen, happens to? like...she doesn't trip over a crack in the sidewalk, she almost falls down the stairs because her foot gets caught in the bottom of her pajama pants. or instead of getting a flat tire....a bolt shoots through her radiatir and blows a giant hole in it.

THAT FRIEND IS ME.

no lie...if you hear something and think "no way that actually happens to real people"....it will probably eventually happen to me. i don't know why...but it is what it is.

and on friday, the universe gave me a shining example of how awesome i am, and how random things happen ONLY to me.

i'll set the scene...mom and i are going to get lunch, then go to a craft show in town. we get to the restaurant, ready to fill our bellies, and i turn the car off.

then i pull the key out of the ignition.

and this is all that comes out.
that my friends, IS THE NUB OF A KEY. the rest of that particular piece of metal was still in my ignition.

let that soak in....IN THE IGNITION. now, you might know someone who's had a key break in a door...i know i do. but breaking off in the ignition? nope...that's a strictly hayley brand of awesomeness.

i had NO idea what to do...so we went to eat and brainstorm. these nice men in the restaurant offered to try and help us...but they could only get the dash popped off, not get the nub out.

luckily, daddy called this guy he works with a lot for locks and keys and stuff, and this old guy lets us borrow this teeeeeeensy little piece of metal, like a drill bit but miniscule.

i totally thought it was gonna be total crap....but it worked!! it totally worked!! dad put the piece of metal next to the key, pulled it out and out popped the nub!!

luckily i had a spare key....after the hubs made me carry one in my wallet when i locked my keys in my car twice in 3 weeks earlier this year.

like i said...i am a lot of awesome.