Thursday, August 12, 2010
it's been one of those weeks
this is how i've been feeling lately....uninspired.
nothing to write, nothing to talk about, not much happening in my life. it's tough sitting at home, and it's tough not having any direction....not knowing what's next, what i want to be next....i've never felt quite this lost.
when i was working, i was a kickass tv producer. i felt comfortable doing my job, i excelled at it, and i KNEW i was one of the best.
but jobs like that will ruin your soul if your heart isn't in it...and my heart hadn't been in it for several years. and staying would have meant legal paperwork, forcing me to stay.
so i left. and i don't regret it...but i am struggling with the change. i'm used to excelling at what i do...and i feel like i'm a mediocre stay-at-home wife. our house isn't spotless, projects aren't done...and i feel like i'm just being lame.
anyone else every left a less-than-stellar job without a plan B? how'd you deal?
the only constant in my life is my daily date with jillian michaels, and even that feels uninspiring. like i'm not pushing myself as hard as i can....because i can just push tomorrow. or the next day.
i know part of this whole melancholy is because it's that time of the month...but it's also just feeling very out of sorts. very un-hayley. my WHOLE life i've had a plan....and now i don't. and it scares the crap out of me...like what if i don't HAVE a passion to pursue? what if i just like a lot of things...and none of them will lead me to a new career path?
perhaps friday will bring more sunshine...but maybe less heat, huh? it's been SWELTERING.