when friends feel like family, and why i need to know more brides

if you don't already know this gorgeous girl sharing a photo with a hardcore-cheesin' hayley....you oughta. in blogland, she's Mrs. Prepperoni, but in my world...she's my brain twin. my ashley. my very first internet BFF.

see, we met on the knot, bastion of snarky brides and wayyyyyy too much bling to ever be classified as "classy", and more women who claim their favorite color is tiffany blue than you've ever seen in one place.

but despite all the crazies...we found each other, combined our snarky comments for good (at least good for our amusement, maybe not for the collective good attitude of the planet), and bazillions of texts and BBMs and phone calls later...she's my homegirl.

and this lady is about to take the wedding world by storm. for realz. see, by the time you read this, her gorgeous creations that up until now have been solely online, at her etsy shop, will be brick and mortar-ing it ya'll. my girl's absolutely fan-freaking-tastic creations will be featured at atlanta's own Paisley Umbrella.

stuff like this bout....

um, hello...where the heck is mine to wear in my hair like a super fab accessory?! i LOVE this thing.

and more importantly....how can i talk the hubs into another wedding, because this...

NEEDS to be in my bling-loving hand. NEEDS. TO. BE.

my only issue with miss ashley is that she didn't get into her passion of brooch bouquets until AFTER i was married. cuz you better believe...i'd have had this in a heartbeat.

so if any of you are brides-to-be, and want something people will talk about for YEARS, in the best way possible....please hit her up. because she SOOOO deserves great things to come of this side-project turned full-on life goal.

LIFE GOAL YO. i need one. i want one. i want to find something that makes me as happy as this makes ashley. i want her to be proud of me the way my heart swells when i hear her latest round of good news, because this woman DESERVES it. all of it.

plus, when she's rich i'll make her let me tag along =)

plus, any mom who's first photo of her daughter looks like this...
deserves major freaking props.

that's my internet niece, debuting in december =)

oh to be a blonde in hollywood

every time i watch an awards show...it makes me wanna be a celebrity. cuz the clothes are too fab. and at the emmy's...i was longing to be one of these blondes.
okay, so she looks a little cray-cray, to borrow a line from one of her projrun minions, but I. LOVE. HEIDI. and when you look that good...you can literally wear anything. remember when she dressed as a snake for halloween and was still hot?! it's hardly fair yo.

plus, those shoes are FIERCE.
when i say i am in love with january jones, i mean it. and i don't even watch mad men (but it is on the list of things to check out if we ever get netflix). but her name!! and her potty mouth!! and the fact that she is super freaking smokin' hot.

LOVE the blue, and even love her flyaways (is that weird?).

honest to goodness, i'm more envious of her awesome name than anything....january jones!! it's so cool.
um, claire danes has literally never looked this amazing EVER. in her whole life. not even with wings on, making out and doing the dirty with leonardo dicaprio. nope, not this hot.

certainly not on my so-called life.

the sparkly dress?? i DIE for it. i wanna wear it.

and her hair is the perfect shade of blonde. and love the curls. and her makeup?? gah, i want the whole package on my several-sizes bigger frame.

who's emmy outfit were you digging?

it was a really rough tuesday

you know when you have those days/hours/afternoons/evenings that it literally takes you another day to even step back and not be overwhelmed by it??

yeah...mine was tuesday.

i did my workout (shout out to the biggest loser:cardio max....bob and jillian should be shot. but at least i got a break from anita and her bitch-faced smug smile), and then i hung out with the dogs.

i'm sitting there, and i look over and see bo standing in the middle of lots of little dark pawprints.

my first thought:: "oh shit"....literally.

except he hadn't pooped and walked all in it....

all those dark spots?? WATER. SQUISHING UP FROM UNDER THE CARPET.

commence my complete and total freakout.

we're renovating the bathroom that's to the right of that little hallway-thing in the pic (don't worry, THOSE adventures will be a whole other post) and so i'm freaking out....somehow the toilet clogged for the first time ever, and overflowed, but really quietly...couldn't hear it running. all this was about 90 minutes of flow.

i figure out how to turn the water off to the toilet (after a frantic call to the hubs), and when he gets home like 10 minutes later.....we literally spend the better part of an hour using the bissell pro-heat to extract water from the carpet, plus some old-school stomping on a towel.

oh yeah, and then that night, because the carpet was still damp...my wet foot slipped on the way up the stairs, and i kicked the stair and busted my big toenail on my left foot like halfway down.

NOT COOL UNIVERSE.

anyone else dealt with flooded carpets? did you also want to febreeze the room every time you walked in?

a little monday afternoon man candy

ever wondered what all these yummy dudes have in common??





other than the fact that they are all SUPER. FREAKING. HOT.....they're also all in the new movie "takers" that opens this weekend.

i don't even know what this flick is about...i think about stealing. or shooting. or blowing things up. or some other kind of dude-movie biznass.

but i have GOT to find a way to talk the hubs into wanting to see this movie, without mentioning the fact i'll be all googly-eyed for 2 hours..

say it with me now ladies....YUMMM.

feeling like a bad parent

on a warm august day about 2 years ago....our family of 2 became a family of 3.
when this little nugget of adorableness came to live with us. Bojangles Knowshon, the best pug in the whole world (even cooler than the talking pug in Men in Black, which people ask us about EVERY SINGLE TIME we take him somewhere). and since he was itty bitty....we just let him live in our downstairs bathroom. so he could use puppy pads and learn to hold his business.

well...then we litter trained him. yes, they make litter for dogs. no, i don't know any other person on the planet who's actually used it but us. so since he was go in his box....we kept entertaining the idea of getting him a crate....partly because he has scratched giant holes in the drywall. he's kind of a drama queen.

right after christmas...he became a brother.
when keno came home with us, we got him a crate because he was a shelter dog and totally used to the whole thing....no probs.
now bo is this big, NOT a little nugget anymore....and since we're working to get our home fixed up and put on the market....we need to reclaim his room. and so yesterday....he got kicked out.

and into a crate made for golden retrievers or german shepards. for a 16 lb dog.

HE IS HELLA PISSED.

it literally makes my heart hurt when he looks RIGHT AT ME and whines his pitiful little whine, like "mama, WHYYYYYY am in here?? i know i've got my box and my cozy bed....but it's WRONG".

even keno thinks he's being a little too dramatic...he'll bark at him when he whines for like 10 minutes straight...it's very "seriously dude, CHILL. OUT. we get treats every time we come in these things...it's not a bad gig. plus, mom leaves us top 40 radio to listen to, and i love me some ke$ha".

my mom swears he loooooooves the crate he stays in when he visits them, and he'll hop right in there when nate puts them up...does he know mom is a softie??

anyone crate trained a dog that's not a puppy? do they stop being total crybabies??

if you want a revolution

so, commercials lately have been a pretty good place for finding music...or at least some good brain worms.

you KNOW you've googled some ad to find out who sings the song in it....like THIS


or the sweater song from old navy a few years back.



and don't even get me started on the holiday 2009 commercials from the gap...between the adults and the little kids with their "how cute are these boots?!", that ish got in my head FOR DAYS.


well, i've got a new one. and of COURSE, it's just in time for football season. the hubs thinks i am RIDICULOUS every time i make him watch this commercial, or rewind the dvr so i can hear the song...I. LOVE. IT. i don't even know why...but i do.




i apologize ahead of time that you're totally gonna be singing this song for the rest of the day....maybe whistling the tune, if you know how ( i am whistle-challenged and CANNOT do it).

so tell me....what's your favorite song from a commercial?!

mother nature and the universe hate me

so, i'm sitting here sweating to death after my daily date with jillian AND sweltering trip all the way to the mailbox....and i'm pretty sure the universe is messing with me. cuz i want it to be fall and mother nature is all "SWEAT IT OUT BITCHES!!!!"

first, my coke zero can had a football on it. which is awesome, BUT i like it to be chilly when football rolls around. breezes blowing, cute little tees and dresses, NOT tees drenched in sweat because it's a bazillion degrees out.

THEN, during my trip through the amazon/to the mailbox....i get my fave magazine in the mail. AND IT'S 600 PAGES OF INSTYLE FALL FASHION GLORIOUSNESS. for realz....i feel like i'm being taunted by autumn.

i'm also trying to decide if this qualifies as a transitional piece....
is she strictly summer? or could she be rocked with black tights and booties and a cropped motorcycle jacket? honest opinions ladies...cuz i'm thinking of pulling the trigger today, but i don't want to have to retire her until next year in a month or so...

getting spoiled is TOTALLY what it's cracked up to be

my shopping as a way of willing it to be fall continues....i just want it to be cool!!! but this weekend, i did get some cute things that i can wear now when it's 140000 degrees out...and they'll be cute when it cools off with cardis and coats.
is it wrong to buy 3 ruffled shirts at the time? cuz i most definitely got this shirt, and one in a creamy light green color...and then a totally diffferent ruffled neckline shirt in a dark beigey color. seriously...love the ruffles. i want all of them. plus, won't this be cute under my cropped black motorcycle jacket?? i think so!
i also jumped on the cross-body tiny purse train....totally made fun of my mom for rocking one like 6 months ago....who knew mama was such a fashion plate?! now they're everywhere...and i totally get the appeal of NOT lugging around my giant purse on a day-long shopping trip. or out on the town.

as you all know, i was having kind of a down week last week....just feeling really blah and not myself. so, being an awesome hubs....the hubs told me wednesday night he bought me a present, and got it shipped to the house.

i expected this....

and what i got....was this.
i literally almost started crying friday afternoon when i got home and opening the shipping box and saw that blue....i couldn't really believe it. the hubs has bought me tiffany before...but that's for christmas. or my birthday. not a random friday.


so this pretty pretzel is now living in my jewelry box...isn't it precious?! i love it...so me. classy, but a little funky and different. i know material things aren't the basis of a good marriage....but knowing that the hubs would do something like this, just to cheer me up and make me happy?? it makes my heart swell, and i feel like i could just burst with love.

it's friday the 13th...and i had a run-in with the lawnmower man

so one of the perils of being a stay-at-home wife is that i feel REALLY bad if the hubs does yardwork when he gets home. so last weekend, he cut the backyard, which is HUMONGOUS, and then i was supposed to cut the flat front yard, and the side...except it got hot. so i decided to do it this week.

BAD. FREAKING. IDEA.

it all started yesterday, when i cut the side, and then the front....all's going fine and well and good, minus the fact that it was about 5000% humidity. until...

this. don't be jealous of my artistic representation of my front yard....half cut, and half not. because the lawnmower CUT OFF. and wouldn't come back on. see, we've got an evil contraption of a non-self-propelled mower....so i have to PUSH it. and it wasn't having any of that. so i stopped. and the front yard looked like my awesome picture.

this morning, i decide to man up and finish the job.

going along, minding my own mowing business...until i feel something on my left ankle.

i look down, and there's at least a dozen of these....
EVIL EVIL ANTS.

so it takes me about 4 seconds to get my shoe off, sweep them all off my foot, and bang my shoe on the ground trying to get them all off.

that's right, i'm jumping around ON ONE FOOT IN MY OWN DRIVEWAY. thank goodness we're pretty much the classiest folks in the neighborhood...driveway ant killing doesn't trump setting someone's yard on fire in then trashtrastic neighbor scale.

seriously...who does that happen to?! and more importantly....what's the likelihood i can talk the hubs into letting me out of lawn duty??

it's been one of those weeks

this is how i've been feeling lately....uninspired.

nothing to write, nothing to talk about, not much happening in my life. it's tough sitting at home, and it's tough not having any direction....not knowing what's next, what i want to be next....i've never felt quite this lost.

when i was working, i was a kickass tv producer. i felt comfortable doing my job, i excelled at it, and i KNEW i was one of the best.

but jobs like that will ruin your soul if your heart isn't in it...and my heart hadn't been in it for several years. and staying would have meant legal paperwork, forcing me to stay.

so i left. and i don't regret it...but i am struggling with the change. i'm used to excelling at what i do...and i feel like i'm a mediocre stay-at-home wife. our house isn't spotless, projects aren't done...and i feel like i'm just being lame.

anyone else every left a less-than-stellar job without a plan B? how'd you deal?

the only constant in my life is my daily date with jillian michaels, and even that feels uninspiring. like i'm not pushing myself as hard as i can....because i can just push tomorrow. or the next day.

i know part of this whole melancholy is because it's that time of the month...but it's also just feeling very out of sorts. very un-hayley. my WHOLE life i've had a plan....and now i don't. and it scares the crap out of me...like what if i don't HAVE a passion to pursue? what if i just like a lot of things...and none of them will lead me to a new career path?

perhaps friday will bring more sunshine...but maybe less heat, huh? it's been SWELTERING.

like i need more trash in my life

anyone else watch the trainwreck that is "bad girls club: miami"?? a friend texted me last week about it....i'd heard about it before, but never watched....so i tuned it to the premiere.

OH MY WORD.

these chicks make snooki and jwowww look like freaking emily post, all etiquette-filled and proper. it's UNBELIEVABLE.

one girl spent a night at the club dancing ON THE FLOOR with her underpants hanging out...and one girl is a stripper. from inglewood. like, where dr. dre is from.

by the way, inglewood stripper TOTALLY judged panties-out girl. amazing.

the girls also "voted" and put one girl's stuff on the front porch...and they call her "whore-gan" instead of morgan. so amazing.

seriously, someone has GOT to watch it so i have someone who's not my poor, reality tv-force fed husband to talk to about it...

apparently, i smell primal

happy monday my dears!! the hubs and i had a weekend full of hanging ceiling fans, finding out once again it's a MIRACLE that our house hasn't burned down...and we got a sweet new vanity for our bathroom...can't wait to get it put together and installed!!

also, did a little NON home renovation shopping....
i put on this lotion after my shower today, after getting it for a shopping whole dollar at bath and body works. LOVE when they preview new scents like this, because hello, it's a dollar....plus, the littles are great for traveling.

according to the website, "Our exclusive Dark Kiss is a seductive blend of dark berries with a kiss of vanilla to unleash your most primal passions". umm....i dunno about the primal passion part, but it is a litte berry-vanilla-y. but not as fruity as the black raspberry vanilla from B&BW.

clearly, i have a lotion problem.

i also scored this GORGE transitional dress from ross...for $12.

and yes, i took a picture, and then i put it on facebook, and then the hubs mocked me for doing so. whats the point of mobile uploads if facebook friends can't validate new purchases?? boys don't get it.

it's gonna look so cute saturday at a baby shower/barbecue with my gold sandals....and in a few months, with my boots and my cognac jacket?? so. fly.

and i haven't bought these yet....
but you better believe when my ulta gets the full sized bottles of these new fall essie colors, that green and purple will be coming home with me asap. i keep going for my darker polishes, willing my nails to feel like fall....but it hasn't happened yet. and i guess i oughta rock hot pink and coral and sky blue while i can....

you just gotta watch

since the hubs and i started dating, and since he found about my undying love for rap music, he's let me listen to all sorts of stuff he doesn't like very much.

except for eminem. the hubs is adamant in his hatred for mr. mathers...which i find kinda funny, considering there for awhile em was ALL about the anger.


so when hubs voluntarily turned eminem's new song UP when he heard it on the radio, i was SHOCKED. i dig the song too...but i figured he'd hate it.

and today, when i watched the video for "love the way you lie", i was BLOWN. AWAY. i loathe meghan fox, i think her face just looks skanky...plus, she married david from 90210. who's like twice her age. and i wanna burn that stupid marilyn monroe tattoo off her arm...she looks ridiculous, with all her constant pouting and bombshelling.

but SHE IS AMAZING IN THIS VIDEO. she should stop acting, it won't get better than this. and rihanna? don't even get me started on how ballsy she is for going big for this one.

please watch. it's NOT the radio edit, so be careful at work...but i promise, you WON'T regret it.

why it needs to cool off, version 435

i have officially hit the summer plateau. the point i hit every summer where i am completely convinced it will NEVER be cool again. this happen to anyone else?

i'm sitting here sweating just THINKING about how hot it is outside...and dreaming, longing for fall. leaves on the ground, football on the tv...and fall clothes on my body.
it started with this gorgeous boyfriend cardi i got in the mail from old navy yesterday....for all of $11, i couldn't resist...and the color is GORGEOUS. i wanna wear it with skinny jeans, a tank and boots asap. and some cute gold earrings. but NOOOOO, it's a bazillion degrees right now and i got hot just trying it on!!

and then, tulle sends me an email about a sale. tulle, of the gorgeous coats and awesome prices....i already have 3 of their jackets, one mustard peacoat i wear ALL the time and 2 plaid portrait-neckline ones.

so of course....
i got this, in ivory. for TWELVE DOLLARS. i love the cropped sleeves...and i got a dress and a coat for the hubs. go to tulle's website and click on "sale" to score a deal for yourself!! but be warned....that wait while a coat sits in your closet and you feel like you're gonna melt is BRUTAL.
i also got this pin from anthro, mostly because it's awesome. i'm thinking pinned on cardis, maybe on some ribbon for a belt...maybe on a length of chain like a necklace. LOVES IT!!! and this i can at least wear right now, unlike my other purchases that will wait...and wait....and wait....

i need a closet pep talk with myself...."hayley, tanks are good. so are shorts. in no time at all, you'll be longing for warm sun when it's grey and gross and windy and rainy and cold. and it won't snow...it'll just sleet. so enjoy exposing those arms and legs while you can...it'll be gone soon."

nope, still want fall.

i've never wanted to make out with a home depot employee before....

as i've mentioned, the hubs and i are slowly but surely fixing up our home, in hopes of putting it on the market later this year/early next year. so just about each weekend, we truck up the hill to Home Depot. it's literally less than a quarter mile from our house, so it's super convenient.

and this weekend, was the coup de grace.

behold our kitchen before we moved in. that stove is gone, THANK GOODNESS, but for the most part it's the exact same. with more crap on the countertops. but the white cabinets are there...so are the bright brass fixtures. and the linoleum that "looks" like tile....still there.
and see, the rest of our house is hardwood flooring. other than the bathrooms, and the big downstairs den, we're a hardwood house. and i LOVE it.

so, the hubs and i are at HD yesterday, getting fans to change out upstairs (notice that HIDEOUS brass one in the above photo? it was tossed 2 weeks ago. but the upstairs ones are just as bad). fans in our cart, we head down the tile aisle to the register, because i like browsing.

HD dude: you guys looking to replace your floor?
Hubs: why??
HD dude: seriously, are you guys gonna redo your floor anytime soon?
Hubs: seriously...why??

and then he gestures to the flat cart, with nine boxes on it. tells us the hardwood flooring was specially ordered, and ordered wrong. so they've only got these 9 boxes, and can't put them with the rest of the floors. the boxes are originally about $120 dollars a box.

THEY OFFER THEM TO US AT $1 A BOX.

one dollar. for the price of a value fry at mickey d's, these dudes wanna give me gorgeous, glorious, reddish flooring for my kitchen. i thought the hubs' eyes were gonna bug out of his head. we were all "um, yes please, we'd love them, ring it up asap so you don't change your mind".

$9 people. $9 for a brand-new, way too gorgeous upgrade for my kitchen. and it's close enough in tone to the rest of the wood that we'll just have to figure out a way to cover up the separation between the kitchen and what will be the dining room.

i'm still so excited i can hardly stand it. four cents a square foot people. i don't think you can buy dirt, or boxes for hobos that cheap.