Thursday, August 11, 2011

how much trouble do you get in for maiming a federal employee?

there are some things in life that just don't make sense. like spandex pants on anyone over the age of 50. or wearings leggings as pants. or crocs.

you know what else doesn't make sense? only doing part of your job. i don't go to the grocery store and expect the bagger to only load up half of my food.  i don't want my eye doctor to only check out one of my horrible-visioned eyeballs.

so i ask you...why does my mailman think it's totally okay to deliver my mail, put it in my mailbox...AND THEN LEAVE THE BOX WIDE OPEN. last i checked...closing a mailbox is not a multi-step project. in fact, i'm pretty sure the apes from that new planet of the apes movie would MOCK the mailman's lack of mailbox closing skillz....they're too busy taking over the world and eventually making charlton heston REAL mad, and even they could figure out how to close a mailbox. i bet even their normal, non-scientifically enhanced ape cousins could figure it out.

but no, at least once a week, i get to go outside and check the mail, only to see it open for the whole world to see.

see this? this SUCKS. and makes you a really bad mailman.

what if i had a personal letter in there from my boyfriend ludacris, or my pretend BFF kate middleton?? and then someone STOLE it because they saw how awesome i was with my letter from luda and the future queen of england. what if they started stalking me to be awesome by proxy?


are you gonna protect me in your doorless mail truck? i doubt it. your steering wheel isn't even on the right side of the car.

so get with the program, or prepare for this redhead to go least on the internet.


Erin said...

Tape a sign to hang down when he opens the door which reads, "CLOSE THE DOOR." If that doesn't work, let me know. I have plenty of snappy comebacks.

PS - cherry moonshine doesn't suck.

bananas. said...

my mailman used to walk on our lawn and it drove dave bonkers!!! he even called in to complain, but nothing changed until our mailman did.

good luck with your mail situation.