if bob vila was a bitchy redhead...

this blog would probably be a LOT weirder...but you might get a little less fashion, and a little more plaid shirts.

anyways...i like to call this story "why it pays to live near home depot...and tiling is dirty business"

you see this peach monstrosity?? this is our downstairs bathroom. or should i say WAS. we used it as a bathroom for about 2 months, from june to august 2008.

then we got  dog and decided he could live in there instead of in crate...and then began the demise of this heinous room. (the dog is now crated, as is his doggy brother....but the bathroom digs also meant he got litter trained, which is a whole other story).

so sometime last summer we decided to start demolishing this room. which then took a million trillion years because we live in an old house.

so the project is languishing, until 2 weeks ago...when the hubs randomly says to me "oh did i tell you my plan? we're going to have the bathroom functional by the start of football season."

SAY WHA LITTLE MAN?? two weeks?? two weeks to turn our better-suited-to-a-crack-den-on-svu bathroom into an oasis to potty?? ARE YOU OUT YO MIND BOY?!

apparently...he was not.

also, this cart full of tile was wicked heavy. AND THEY DON'T LET YOU RIDE ON THEM EITHER.

no way i weigh as much as this load of tile....i totally call shenanigans.

so no lie, 48 hours after he tells me about "the plan", we've got this crazy self levelling cement going on....it was way creepy. and was a plan B after regular cement wouldn't fix the floor...CUZ WE LIVE IN A JACKED UP OLD HOUSE.

but then the floor looked nice...and all was right with the world. the hubs put up cement board...but that's boring, so no pictures.

sooooo....do you wanna see how lovely it looks, about halfway finished?? will you scroll back up the peach monstrosity so it's fresh in your mind?

oh hello there greyish fake-but-looks-sorta-real stone tiles...all of your backsides have been buttered BY ME. (no fabio involved....but tiling is definitely dirty work).

that space at the top will be some pretty glass mosaic tiles, topped by the same grey tile cap thingies with the curved sides. i'm sure there's an actual word for them.

we spent all last sunday doing the floor, and then this sunday doing the floor edges, and the wall you see. last night, we did the rest of the wall.

thursday we'll be accent tiling, and friday we'll be grouting.

then we just have to install the vanity and the toilet and pick a medicine cabinet and light fixture and patch the drywall and paint and fix the trim and i'm going to stop thinking about everything that's left before i hyperventilate.

SO CLOSE to having a non-crappy bathroom in my house. no shower yet....but that's gonna be a whole other adventure.  and yes...i'll be blogging about that too. probably.

mostly so you can validate my hard work, because APPARENTLY the hubs thinks that all wives help out with nonsense like this.

anyone else tackled legit home improvements like this? war stories you wanna share?

if there's no paper...there's no deal

remember last week when i was all "oh yeah, going back to work, i have to be there 5 whole days"??

yeah...that's all it lasted.

cuz it's AWESOME when the dude in charge tells you you'll be working two days...and then it's five.

and he also says he'll work with your requests, which is that you won't work thursday and friday nights...and then he schedules you for thursday and friday night, because he has another producer who's a total whiny baby and gets whatever she wants just by causing a stink until he's worn down.

NOT THIS TIME MOFOS!!!

cuz when i told him AGAIN on friday i didn't want to work those nights, and that we had agreed to that in the beginning...he chose to ignore me. and schedule me then anyways.

so i told him to shove it up his ass.

nicely of course =)

it was totally professional-speak for "you can eff yourself".

and now? now i'm actually really freaking proud of myself. because normally, i'm the one that goes along with things i don't really want to do,  just to keep the peace.

but this time? this time i did what was right for me...which was to show them you can't treat the person helping out, the person who's not contractually obligated to be there and do what you say like crap.

cuz she'll take her skillz and her fake red hair and bail the eff out.

so you're stuck with me again! but this time...i'm back with stories of bathrooms...and surplus vests.

can't hardly stand the excitement can you?

headed back into the thunderdome

on june 27th, 2010....this was me.

a goodbye kiss....not for my hubs (and no, i do NOT remember why he has on a viking hat), but a goodbye to my former career.

goodbye to long hours. goodbye to crappy pay. goodbye to spending holidays with my corworkers, not my family. goodbye to the news business, and the way it was slowly sucking away my sanity, and my soul.

monday afternoon?

monday afternoon i'll strap that headset back on, and rejoin the media conglomerate i SWORE i'd never go back to.

but this time...it's on MY terms. and only for the short-term.

they've got a producer leaving tomorrow, and no one to fill his slot.

so it's back into the thunderdome for this girl.

so....you'll have to think good, sane thoughts for me.

because get this? when i met with the powers that be...they were all "oh yeah, it will probably be 2 days a week, and doing 2 shows". no bigs. i get the email tonight....yeahhhhhh....i'm working FIVE days next week. 2 shows mon-thurs...and THREE shows on friday.


times like this, it pays to be a total fricking badass at your (former) job. cuz i GUARANTEE, most folks can't do what i do. or did. or whatever.

90% of me is totally down with the idea, since it will be extra cash to pay off the credit cards and get our home renovations paid for (and use $100 to buy myself a nook, cuz i waaaaaannnnttttt onnnneeeeee) and i've already told them i'm only working during the day....minus the first 3 days, because apparently their morning show girl has jury duty.  and the news director was SUPER friendly in his email, which makes me pretty sure i will be left alone to do my thing, since i'm kinda saving their asses...you can't ride someone who can leave the park at any time ;)

the only 10%? it's going ARE YOU NUTS HALES?!? WHYYYYY WOULD YOU SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THE CRAZY??

but the majority rules in this case. and the difference now is i can walk out WHENEVER i want. plus...they better hurry the eff up and hire someone asap.

at least my cardigans won't feel so lonely anymore.

i used to frequent another corner

in 2011,  i'm an ever-so-happily married woman, full of a LOT of randomness and a decent amount of snark when the time is right. and you all get to witness it, here in this little corner of the world wide web.

but in 2004?

in 2004 i was this girl, all of 21, breaking hears and locking A LOT of lips and living it up like only college seniors can.

too many parties, too many beers, too many boys, too much fun.

and i totally had a blog back then too.

which i had sort of forgotten about until last night, when i randomly thought of it...and decided to see if i still remembered my log-in info.

HOLY. COW.

you ever read something you wrote a REALLY long time ago, and sort of remember being that person...and sort of feel like it was a stranger??

yeahhhh....that was me. there may or may not have been a few names dropped that i TOTALLY do not remember.  so hopefully none of those dudes are still pining away for me...cuz that would be a.w.k.w.a.r.d.

but it was also really awesome to have a window into my past like that, and relive some of those moments that seemed like SUCH a big deal back then. all the stress of finals, new roomates, old boyfriends, and loving life as an "adult", with no real adult responsibilities.

there was also a documented version of the start (and end) of my only major relationship with a boy who's NOT my husband. the dude who broke my heart, and who will, forever after in this house, be referred to as "douchey ex-boyfriend".

oh, and in case you need a little window into what my life was like then? an excerpt, from this day 7 years ago (seven?? really?? gah...i feel old now).

"i have made my triumphant return to athens, and aspen, and 62B! and no, despite the horrid cop who pulled me over AT THE ENTRANCE OF MY COMPLEX DRIVEWAY FOR NOT STOPPING AT A STOP SIGN THAT I DID STOP AT, it's been a good day. got up, packed ALL of my stuff cuz i was a total slacker and talked to people until late instead of actually being productive, loaded the car (yay for the malibu! it fit everything!) and hit the road. i have cruise control now for the first time ever, so tried that out a bit, but it still kinda weirds me out, so i'm not so sure how i feel about it yet."

yeah...that's STILL the only time i've ever been pulled over. and i'm STILL pissed about it.

anyone else have old journals or blogs they'd forgotten about, and gotten a kick out of reliving?

like i mentioned earlier this week...i love books. all kinds of books...from classics, to sappy love stories, to mysteries and memoirs.

and then of course...there's the genre so lovingly dubbed....young adult. at my library, they all have little stickers on the side with a person reading under a tree. cuz you know...that's what young people do.

and of course, there are gems in those stacks, books i want to force all my friends to read, so we can talk about how awesome they are.

hunger games trilogy, i'm looking at you. bravo suzanne collins, i am PEEING my pants about seeing these movies.

then of course...there are the not-so-awesome ones.

that's right stephanie meyer, you're totally guilty of creating the literary version of herpes. it's super fun in the moment...but then you wake up a few weeks later wondering what that burning sensation is, and why you can't get away from the madness and the crap writing.

but equal to my love of books about teens? my love for tv shows about teens.

and there is none better than my most favorite show of ALL TIME, the series i am wholeheartedly convinced contains the answers to all life's quandries...

DAWSON'S. CREEK.

or as i like to call it, the six year vehicle in which joshua jackson cemented himself in my heart at my #1 love, and proved that pacey witter will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be better than dawson leery.

for life.

and so when one of my favorite blogs about teen books and tv shows posted an entry about my boyfriend mr. witter, i had to share.

please read, and laugh (especially if you also have 15 year tv tatstes), and revel in the marvel that is pacey witter.

and if you're not a teenage drama fan...well, then you're totally missing out!

but seriously....read the hunger games. it's AMAZING.

happy friday y'all!

how much trouble do you get in for maiming a federal employee?

there are some things in life that just don't make sense. like spandex pants on anyone over the age of 50. or wearings leggings as pants. or crocs.


you know what else doesn't make sense? only doing part of your job. i don't go to the grocery store and expect the bagger to only load up half of my food.  i don't want my eye doctor to only check out one of my horrible-visioned eyeballs.

so i ask you...why does my mailman think it's totally okay to deliver my mail, put it in my mailbox...AND THEN LEAVE THE BOX WIDE OPEN. last i checked...closing a mailbox is not a multi-step project. in fact, i'm pretty sure the apes from that new planet of the apes movie would MOCK the mailman's lack of mailbox closing skillz....they're too busy taking over the world and eventually making charlton heston REAL mad, and even they could figure out how to close a mailbox. i bet even their normal, non-scientifically enhanced ape cousins could figure it out.
because IT'S. CLOSING. A. MAILBOX.

but no, at least once a week, i get to go outside and check the mail, only to see it open for the whole world to see.

see this? this SUCKS. and makes you a really bad mailman.


what if i had a personal letter in there from my boyfriend ludacris, or my pretend BFF kate middleton?? and then someone STOLE it because they saw how awesome i was with my letter from luda and the future queen of england. what if they started stalking me to be awesome by proxy?

WHAT THEN MISTER MAILMAN?? WHAT THEN??

are you gonna protect me in your doorless mail truck? i doubt it. your steering wheel isn't even on the right side of the car.

so get with the program, or prepare for this redhead to go postal....at least on the internet.

what happens when your husband finds a new love

you know, it's the same old story.

boy finds nerdy sci-fi book for cheap at goodwill.


boy LOVES said nerdy sci-fi book, and proceeds to find the rest of the series for cheap on ebay.


boy can't wait until the mail comes to keep reading, so boy finds a free electronic version of his new favorite books.


boy spends the next 2 weeks plowing through the books on his phone.


boy decides he wants a screen bigger than 3 inches.


boy buys himself a new toy friday night.

boy now loves his new nook color more than he loves his lovely girl.


so of course...now girl can't decide if SHE wants a fancy new e-reader too.

i have ALWAYS talked trash about e-readers, because i LOVE books. i like the way they smell, i like they way they feel, i like the joy of having them and checking them out of the library and browsing for new ones.

BUT i hate having to wait until the library gets around to my request for the new book. it would be nice to be able to cart around a few ounces of machine, versus a lot of ounces of book when i'm travelling, or sitting at the doctor's office or whatever.

so thanks to the hubs and his new love, i'm contemplating spending my birthday money on a new nook. anyone love their e-reader? anyone else's significant other have a love affair with electronics?

adventures in the land of the hippies

you didn't think i'd abandoned you, did you?? heck no....i've just been being lazy for 2 days, recovering from our 5 hour drive home sunday afternoon, and the fewer hours of sleep i was going on spending a weekend with my girls!

our humble abode for the weekend...it was totally cute inside. except i forgot to take pictures of the inside.

BUT, the hubs and i did totally snoop around while waiting for everyone else to arrive...the owner has christmas decorations in an antique buffet, and birthday candles in this storage thing in the kitchen.

plus quilted placemats on the dining room table. which did NOT involve snooping to discover...but they did offend my general sense of taste, and the fact that it's not 1986.

2/5 of our party, on the streets of asheville saturday afternoon.

IT. WAS. HOT. but i kept checking the weather for back home and taking solace in 90 degree temps, versus a heat index of 106.

also, totally got that blue shirt for $3 at target. i wish i'd gotten lots...so i could bring them with me. because if i NEVER see another 40+ year old man with a bear gut in super-short cutoff jean shorts and NO. SHIRT.....it will be too soon.

in case you were wondering...there are A LOT of hippies in asheville, nc. a LOT. we saw one guy (arguing with the jesus freaks preaching on the corner, NATURALLY) who had dreads....but instead of ropes of hair, it was one giant mat of hair on the back of his head. like a beaver tail.

i would have sneakily taken a photo of mr. beaver...but i was afraid it might startle him and he'd attack. or smother me with patchouli. that's what mr. beavers DO.

see, the hubs and i keep things classy, even in the land of the unwashed.

PINKIES UP YO!

and i have quite the story about our trip home...but it needs a little photographic help. which should arrive soon =)