i hate not being able to fix things

there's a lot of broken hearts in my family today.

and i'm gonna need your good thoughts and prayers, not for me...but for my mama.

cuz she lost her very best friend, since she was little, yesterday. in a terrible way.

this is the woman who bought me a globe when i was about 7, so i could learn about the world around me.

who gave me a lucky penny for my high school graduation present...and the box filler was 50 balled up $1 bills.

who gave me her mother's crystal dishes for a wedding gift, because she knew i'd treasure them.

who's know my mother since WAYYYY before she was anyone's mom. when she was just a crazy kid.

she's the reason my parents met.

she's also spent years fighting...her own demons, and then cancer. but things were better...or so we all thought.

i'm so confused, so lost. i won't pretend to ever understand why someone chooses to end the precious life they've been given....but i won't EVER judge those that do. because you have NO way of knowing what a person is going through, or what their mind is like in those dark moments.  


so if you're gonna judge...leave. NOW.
because i just wish i could find a way to make sure my mom is happy again. she's lost SO much in the last 2 years...my aunt, and now her bestie. and i HATE seeing her sad. she's got such a good heart, and she takes everything personally, and i know this is gonna be rough on her for a REALLY long time.

it's hard to feel helpless when it's someone you love. to know what to do, or what not to do. and when it's your mom...it's even tougher.

so if you could send up a little prayer for her, to help heal her heart...that'd be great. i'd really appreciate it.