south meets west, in the best possible way

you may have thought to yourself over the last week "where the heck is hayley??".....or, you haven't even missed me at all.

either way, my absence has been fully warranted.....first off, i was completely and totally preoccupied with my thursday plans.

see, a week ago today i was up at the crack of down so the hubs could drive me to the airport, and i could hop on a plane with this gorgeous lady.

cuz for the last 2 months, she and i have been planning a trip to california to see the other half of our threesome (other third? other piece? whatevs)....ONLY SHE DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE COMING!!!

so i was basically living in a constant state of paranoia that i would somehow let something slip and ruin our surprise.

but i totally didn't, and technically could have blogged this monday....but i slept for 12 hours, and then spent the next 2 days fighting off some airplane plague i'm sure can only be blamed on the hoard of sketchy old businessmen that ended up on our flight home when their plan to minnesota got delayed. or so i gathered from my incessant eavesdropping.


anyhoo, back to my trip....we arrive in the lovely city of sacramento about 11am local time....BUT we aren't supposed to meet our friend until noon.

sooooo......

we  might have spent a little time hiding all of her left shoes in two empty drawers below her linen closet. and she might not have noticed at all until friday morning when she started packing for the rest of our weekend. IT. WAS. AWESOME.

needless to say, that gorgeous brunette on the right (HI AMANDA!!! i know you read this in secret, because you simply cannot get enough of me....NOT THAT I BLAME YOU!!) was completely and totally surprised when we showed up at a little cafe on a thursday in california.

and yes, i cried. but only because she started it. and because i'm a total wuss.

and don't worry....there will be LOTS more pictures in the next few days....because i am basically now in love with the bay area. i'm already plotting a return trip with the hubs.

but today? today i leave you with arguably the best part of my trip....minus seeing my besties of course.

that my friends, is my new favorite thing. it's called a tusk, from grange.

basically....all you need to know it is has bourbon in it. and some fancy liquer they make from bacon fat and booze and other fanciness. AND A PIECE OF CANDIED BACON THAT I WILL DREAM ABOUT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.

omg. this southern girl was in HEAVEN....and it seemed like a pretty fitting welcome to the west coast, don't you think??

it's like being the best at nothing

i have a confession. and yes...it sort of makes me sad to say. because i really do love GOOD books...like, to kill a mockingbird is the jam. 4 life. and don't even get me started on my never-ending adoration for one suzanne collins.

but sometimes....sometimes, i also read drivel.

and lately...they have made all of those drively books into movies. which usually, i do not see.

like this current soon-to-be-released gem.

I CANNOT HELP THAT I LOVE NICHOLAS SPARKS.

i honestly don't even know WHY i keep reading them. because i KNOW what's gonna happen....people will fall in love. and then someone will die. it's the sparks way.

but my favorite part of the trailers for this one?? the fact they claim it's "the best nicholas sparks movie since the notebook".

let me refresh your memory about the nicholas sparks movies that have come out since the notebook.

one starred her.

and one starred him.

so yeah, i can see how the high school musical kid has a decent shot at scoring "most romantic after ryan and rachel, even though no one will EVER be as awesome as ryan and rachel, not even shane and mandy even though i will love a walk to remember forever and ever amen".

BECAUSE EVERYONE ON EARTH IS SEXIER THAN MILEY CYRUS. and channing tatum looks dumber than a cardboard box.

maybe the movie execs need to figure out a different tag line....like "see the lucky one. just don't force your husband/boyfriend/brother/dad to watch you sob for 90 minutes during it. and don't get mad when they don't 'understand' it."

who knew you could kinky for less than $20?

i may not seem like it...but i'm a total thrift store junkie. i don't find many clothes like some stylish ladies on the internet, cuz let's face it...i'm tall and not a twig AND i don't really have the time or the patience to turn a heinous rhinestone gown into a fancy pants formal top. or whatever it is those peeps on pinterest are always raving about.

clothes aren't my thing...but STUFF is. i've got a bit of a glassware hoarding problem, so snagging serving plates and wine glasses on the cheap is the awesome.

and then there's my favorite part of the thrift store. better than finding gaudy jewelry for a few bucks, better than getting ANOTHER owl to sit adorably on my mantle.

of course...i mean finding ridiculous things for sale to take picture of. and this weekend? this weekend i got the greatest photo spread of my life in a matter of 45 minutes.

up first...THE PANTHER COUCH.

well technically...it's a panther love seat AND matching ottoman. plus...it was marked down to the low low price of $225. FOR A PANTHER COUCH.

and yes, of course i made a sex panther joke when i saw it. cuz....you have to.

yeah....this doesn't really need any explanation. other than of course the neverending questions as to how someone would make this and NOT think to themself "hey, will anyone make a sex joke about this??"

yes, you read that right. it's a book of picture stories (WTF does that even mean??) about people's sex lives. for a whopping three bucks and change.

sadly, this book was apparently too precious (from 1941!!) to be left out in the open where any hooligan could get their hands on it....so i don't have any pictures of the picture stories.  but in my head....they're pretty terrifying.

the only bad part of this weekend's epic trip? i have a feeling it's gonna be awhile before i get some stellar photos like this again!

but at least i know there will always be loads of creepy clowns and animal figurines to document.

how do you say "awesomest wife ever" in spanish??

so, the hubs and i are still on the gym train. and yes, i still hate it. BUT i've also been trying to find some delicious and healthy recipes for us to try. no, we will NOT be going all health-nut, cuz i'm southern and i'd probably actually perish without fried things and butter and sweets and whatnot. 

anyhoo....so, i found this recipe on pinterest.

see, doesn't that look delish?? it also looked almost identical to this amazing soup i used to order from a mexican place next to work. and then the place moved. and now they're up the street from me BUT OH MY LORD THE SERVICE IS THE WORST OF ANY PLACE ON THE PLANET. soooo...i don't get it often. or ever. cuz that place makes me want to go into a full-on cheese-dip-fueld homicidal rampage.

oh, what is that you ask?

THAT IS THE VERSION I MADE AND WANT TO MARRY BECAUSE I LOVE IT SO MUCH I MIGHT ACTUALLY WANT TO MAKE IT EVERY WEEK FOREVER AND EVER.

and it totally tasted the SAME as the restaurant's recipe. minus the fact that it wasn't really spicy, but i think next time i'll add a chopped jalapeno.

someone else needs to make this asap to we can bond over how ridiculously amazing it is....we'll be soup sister wives. and our polygamist husband will be a bowl of soup. if that doesn't scream hit reality show, I DON'T KNOW WHAT DOES!!!

i'm insta-ddicted.

you know what's awesome? when you're sitting on your couch, browsing around facebook and you see a lovely little tidbit of info.

like INSTAGRAM IS FINALLLLLLLYYYYYYYY ON ANDROID!!!!!

and then you spend the rest of your weekend hitting the road for the Masters (shoutout to my new golf boyfriend Bubba Watson, 2012 Masters Champion AND fellow UGA grad!), taking ridiculous pictures and uploading them JUST BECAUSE YOU FINALLY CAN.

so....if you want a little slice of life with me, you can find me on instagram under the alias theycallmehales. cuz you know...they do.

oh, and in case you were wondering, those photos, from top left go:
~picture of my dessert
~picture of the sky that looked too much like independence day for my liking
~picture of my sweet new bling
~picture of my dog
~picture from 11:45 sunday night sitting in the parking lot of a gas station fighting the urge to have a solo dance party while the hubs went to pee
~picture of our traditional roadtrip icees
~picture of the transmission that now resides in my living room.

don't you want some free nail polish?

i'm totally not above pimping out myself for some free stuff. especially if YOU get some free stuff too.

how does a free bottle of awesome nail polish sound?

omg zoya, you're killing me with the new summer colors...i need them ALLLLLLLL

so, how do you get something free you ask? SO. EASY.

all you have to do is click here. that'll take you to zoya's site, and once you're there, you set up an account. once that's done... you'll get a promo code for a FREE bottle of nail polish. FREE.

 and if you're like me and you loathe paying shipping....just pick out 2 more colors, and you'll get all three shipped to your house for just $16!! you can't beat that deal.

plus. once you've got an account they do all sorts of promos...i highly suggest liking them on facebook, because i've gotten SO much free polish from different offers they have.

yes, this is actually ALL of my zoya polishes. and yes...i have 2 other drawers filled with the rest of my polish. YES I'M AWARE I'M A TOTAL POLISH HOARDER. at least it's not expired food or cat poop.

i can honestly say that zoya is one of my favorite brands. their polish colors are GORGEOUS, plus they're completely vegan so they're safe for all those folks who are trying to stay natural and away from chemicals, ro for any mamas cooking up some babies.  plus they dry super shiny, and they last for AGES, on me at least. i've had an at-home zoya mani last through grouting and tiling. no top coat, no base coat, nothing but polish. it's awesome.

and yes...i do get points if you sign up and get your free polish. BUT YOU GET FREE POLISH. and then you can get your friends to sign up and they get free stuff, and then YOU get more free stuff...it's really a glorious circle of freedom. like the circle of life....only shinier and more colorful.

so help a wing-slinging sister out, ya hear?

and here i thought we were just going to target

have you ever had one of those saturdays, when you don't really have anything on the agenda, so you figure you'll go browsing around your favorite big box store and just see if you figure out anything else to do?

yeah....we had that. sort of.

see, we fully intended to hit up target....but instead,

.....we hit up the home of this super sweet gong.

....where we bought this.

oh that's right, instead of a new shirt and some swedish fish at target....WE BOUGHT A CAR. i swear i do not understand our life sometimes.

in our defense...we've done a LOT of research already about what kind of car we wanted.

okay fine....NATE has done a lot of research while i've told him i hate white cars and i want cupholders.

but this bad boy is really perfect for us. it's EXACTLY what the hubs has been wanting, a 2011 hyundai sonata. only 40,000 miles on it. and it gets 35 miles to the gallon. which, when you commute 208 miles a day....gas mileage is SUPER important. the money we'll save on fuel will actually almost balance out with the fact that we've got a car payment again for the first time in 2 years.

i'm only mildly concerned that the car is smarter than both of us combined, and that the bitchy bluetooth lady is gonna hack my phone and change my facebook status without my consent.

PLUS, now the hubs can take his time swapping out the transmission in the mustang from a manual to an automatic, so once that's done....I AM GOING TO BE THE MOST EMBARASSING WHITE GIRL ON THE ROAD.  convertible + new sound system with a subwoofer = my dream driving life.

and i'll get to drive the new car on my 5 mile commute the 2 days a week nate works from home...so that'll be sweet =)

happy monday y'all!