i'm trying to sell chicken...not plan my funeral

i pride myself on being a quasi-rational person. i try to keep my attitude in check, and not completely lose my shit.

most of the time.

but the past 2 days have apparently been a locally celebrated holiday known as "make hayley homicidal while she's driving to or from work" days. oh yes...it's a long festivity.

first...there was tuesday. you may remember...i had a wicked case of the sniffles. so i popped my 12 hour sudafed and headed to work....but first, i had to stop at the gas station. you know...so i didn't end up stranded.

so i do what any normal person would do, and pull up to the easiest pump to get to on my passenger side, and fill up.

but when i get back in my car, the car in front of me (which was facing me, front bumper to front bumper) is leaving.

and this 80 year old man rolling in his oldsmobile TOTALLY MEAN-MUGS ME FOR BEING THERE!!!

sorry gramps...but i'm not making 3 laps around the SIX pumps at the station so you don't have to be bothered with backing up THREE FREAKING FEET before going forward and leaving.

then yesterday, it's about 4:05, and i'm heading home after a few hours of slinging wings.  minding my own business, singing along to the radio...when i see a giant blue mass in my passenger-side rearview mirror.

oh no bigs...it's just a giant freaking tahoe about to sideswipe me.

oh yeah, and it was being driven BY PIMPLY-FACED TEEN WITH GREASY JUSTIN BIEBER HAIR.

so apparently my a 5 decade age different doesn't lessen the desire to kill me in my malibu.

oh yeah, and my dog is an asshole....

 because in 15 minutes unsupervised, he managed to drag all of these yarn balls out of their bag, NOT tip the bag over...and make giant knots that i got to unravel.

it's SO fun being me sometimes =)