Wednesday, February 13, 2013

don't squish them, that's abuse!

from being called out for NOT being pregnant, to talking about someone else's boobs....pretty par for the course around these parts i think.

as you know, IF you've got a dude in your life (or you're like me and just obsessively read shit on the internet), the new sports illustrated swimsuit edition is out.

and for the first time since the late 90's, when tyra fivehead banks graced the cover twice...the same model as last year is featured this year.

and her name is kate upton.

i'll admit, for some reason...kate upton annoys me. i think it's the mole, combined with her near-constant bitch face. 

BUT, i'm not blind. and i fully realize that body-wise...this girl is BANGIN'.  she's not scrawny, she's sexy. 
see??

so, if i looked like the above, and i wasn't even legally allowed to purchase alcohol yet...i would be HELLA pissed when sports illustrated picked THIS for their cover.
dude. NO.

why are her tatas all smooshed together??  it's like...the least sexy cleavage EVER.   which has got to be pretty freaking epic to accomplish considering kate upton's rack is basically her claim to fame.

you spend THREE YEARS planning a shoot in antartica...you ONLY take kate upton. you shoot literally hundreds of images....and THIS is the best you think you've got.

SOME BOOB-HATING MAN PICKED THIS SHOT. i just know it. some self-righteous butt man decided his favorite part wasn't being celebrated...so everyone else's favorite wouldn't be either.  nope...they'd just be slapped up there and smushed down like she's giving herself a full-frontal mammogram.

you know it's bad when i feel terrible for someone i don't even like.

3 comments:

Claire Kiefer said...

OMG that beyotch is only 20 years old? GOD I AM OLD.

That cover is annoying on many levels: yes, her boobs are smushed, and also it is dumb. Bathing suits I can get behind, but being naked under an open parka? Dumb.

It irritates me that she's praised for being a "normal woman" or whatever cause she's not anorexic looking, cause let's face it: she's still skinny and her stomach is flat and she's freaking smokin' hot and any woman I know would kill to look like her. I wouldn't say she's an "every day woman" or anything, ha. And as for the freaks who call her fat? Well, they're basically among the ranks of the Westboro Baptist folks in my opinion.

Lauren @ Love, Water and Wine said...

I totally agree! Her boobs look awful in that photo!

Misty said...

I know guys think she's hot. I don't deny that she's attractive. She has a great figure too. But oh she irks me! Maybe it's because I'm jealous, but I just don't like her. LOL