as you know, IF you've got a dude in your life (or you're like me and just obsessively read shit on the internet), the new sports illustrated swimsuit edition is out.
and for the first time since the late 90's, when tyra fivehead banks graced the cover twice...the same model as last year is featured this year.
and her name is kate upton.
i'll admit, for some reason...kate upton annoys me. i think it's the mole, combined with her near-constant bitch face.
BUT, i'm not blind. and i fully realize that body-wise...this girl is BANGIN'. she's not scrawny, she's sexy.
so, if i looked like the above, and i wasn't even legally allowed to purchase alcohol yet...i would be HELLA pissed when sports illustrated picked THIS for their cover.
why are her tatas all smooshed together?? it's like...the least sexy cleavage EVER. which has got to be pretty freaking epic to accomplish considering kate upton's rack is basically her claim to fame.
you spend THREE YEARS planning a shoot in antartica...you ONLY take kate upton. you shoot literally hundreds of images....and THIS is the best you think you've got.
SOME BOOB-HATING MAN PICKED THIS SHOT. i just know it. some self-righteous butt man decided his favorite part wasn't being celebrated...so everyone else's favorite wouldn't be either. nope...they'd just be slapped up there and smushed down like she's giving herself a full-frontal mammogram.
you know it's bad when i feel terrible for someone i don't even like.