being good doesn't come easy

so today's writing assignment is to educate you on something i'm good at. which is MUCH harder than i thought it would be.

cuz i'm awesome at a lot of things...but none are easily explainable.

like i am the BOMB at jeopardy. for serious, i rock it out. my family won't watch with me because they claim i make them feel stupid.  apparently, the hubs used to think the show was rigged because there is "NO way anyone knows all of those answers"...and then he married me.

but i don't know WHY OR HOW i know all the biznass that fills my brain.

i'm also really good at being a smartass, but you TOTALLY don't need any explanation for that =)

i'm good at copying jewelry i see online for way cheaper, cuz i'm a crafter at heart...AND i hate paying full price for things.

i'm also good at knowing when to stop while i'm ahead...don't wanna waste all my ammo, i've got a month of awesome writing to work on ;)

summing up myself is harder than i thought

 


Day 1, Wednesday: The story of your life in 250 words or less

the story of my life could fill chapters, could fill novels...it HAS filled about 6 handwritten volumes that lasted from an angsty 14 year old until the night i slept in my parents' home for the very last time.

but sum it all up? how can i cram 29+ years, and millions and millions of thoughts and ideas into 250 words?

i'll give it my best shot.

She was born in Georgia, and has southern roots and sweet tea in her veins (plus a jigger of bourbon or 2 when the timing is right). She has always gotten lost in the world of words, others or her own.  She's always been the loudest gal in the room, and her friendly nature sometimes means people never see the fire inside.  She has a hard time showing weakness, even if she’s the only one who sees it as being weak.  Disappointing others will bring tears to her eyes…disappointing herself makes the waterworks even worse.  The older she gets, the softer her heart grows, whether she likes it or not.  She has given her heart away twice, and the second time was so much better than the first.  She considers herself one of the luckiest people on the planet to be able to love fully, to share her life with an incredible man.  The family she was born into is so important; the family she has chosen for herself even more so.  The one thing missing in her life right now is a family of her own, to see her husband’s green eyes looking back at her from a tiny face…but she knows now isn’t right.  Soon though…hopefully very soon.

She’s also never been very good at being patient.

guess who's back...back again

so.....i guess i've been gone for awhile.  but it's not you, IT'S ME.

as in, i had nothing at all to say it felt like.

as in, i THOUGHT i was a shoe-in for a job that was seemingly perfect...only it didn't work out.  and i've been kinda bummed.

as in, my life has been lazily trucking along with not much change.

but now...i miss writing. i miss you guys. i miss my little corner of the web (as badly in need of an upgrade as it is!).

so mark this day down...it's ON again ladies.

prepare for stupid shopping stories, swearing about the idiots who make me want to go all rage murder on them....oh yeah, and probably a LOT of crafts. i do have a large amount of free time after all.

plus, i'm gonna try this "blog every day in may" biznass. cuz this lady's brain needs a little jump start!

i miss all your faces. for sure.

it starts with tunes, and ends with tears

unless you've been living under a rock lately, or you just don't listen to top 40 radio, you've probably heard my current favorite jam.  it's about rocking grandpa clothes.

oh yes, i CANNOT get enough of the song "thrift shop" by mackelmore and ryan lewis.

but this isn't about that song.

this is about SO much more.

because this weekend, as i'm jamming to that song for the millionth time...i decide to listen to a few more tracks from the album.  see how i dig it.

and then, i hear this song. and i am haunted by its words, its message, its everything.



i'll warn you...there's some choice language, so don't blast it at work or anything. but listen, PLEASE listen.

because this song? this song brought me to tears.  it gives me a lump in my throat every single time.

because you know what? ALL LOVE IS THE SAME.

it didn't matter 60 years ago that 2 people had different colored skin, and it doesn't matter now that 2 people share the same parts.  you love who you love.  it's not a choice, it's not an abomination, it's not anything but beautiful, the way all love stories are.

and as i sit here, marveling at the technology in front of me and the innovations that happen every single day on this planet...it astounds me why anyone would want to fight love so hard. the simplest and most complex of things.  something almost all of us strive to find, strive to keep.  it's so very unfair some have to strive so much harder.

it's all the same.  and should be treated as such.

i think honest abe would agree with me, and today IS his day after all =)

don't squish them, that's abuse!

from being called out for NOT being pregnant, to talking about someone else's boobs....pretty par for the course around these parts i think.

as you know, IF you've got a dude in your life (or you're like me and just obsessively read shit on the internet), the new sports illustrated swimsuit edition is out.

and for the first time since the late 90's, when tyra fivehead banks graced the cover twice...the same model as last year is featured this year.

and her name is kate upton.

i'll admit, for some reason...kate upton annoys me. i think it's the mole, combined with her near-constant bitch face. 

BUT, i'm not blind. and i fully realize that body-wise...this girl is BANGIN'.  she's not scrawny, she's sexy. 

see??

so, if i looked like the above, and i wasn't even legally allowed to purchase alcohol yet...i would be HELLA pissed when sports illustrated picked THIS for their cover.

dude. NO.

why are her tatas all smooshed together??  it's like...the least sexy cleavage EVER.   which has got to be pretty freaking epic to accomplish considering kate upton's rack is basically her claim to fame.

you spend THREE YEARS planning a shoot in antartica...you ONLY take kate upton. you shoot literally hundreds of images....and THIS is the best you think you've got.

SOME BOOB-HATING MAN PICKED THIS SHOT. i just know it. some self-righteous butt man decided his favorite part wasn't being celebrated...so everyone else's favorite wouldn't be either.  nope...they'd just be slapped up there and smushed down like she's giving herself a full-frontal mammogram.

you know it's bad when i feel terrible for someone i don't even like.

just keep your mouth shut

there are plenty of things that it is perfectly acceptable to say to a stranger at Macy's on a friday afternoon.

"excuse me, would you wear this?"
"oh, i love your purse/shoes/scarf/earrings!"
"do you know where the restroom is?"

all just fine and dandy.  normal even.

what it's NOT okay to say to someone is "oh, you just look so cute....when is your baby due?"

BECAUSE THEN I WILL BE FORCED TO CURTLY REPLY "I'M NOT PREGNANT" AND HAVE TO KEEP MY MOUTH FROM FINISHING IT WITH "YOU STUPID OLD BITCH".

i'll be the first to tell you, i've got tummy pudge. and at almost 30...i've come to accept it. i probably won't ever have a 6-pack...at least not without wayyyy more work than i'm willing it put in, cuz it's just not that important to me.

but not important to me doesn't mean i'm not self conscious about it. it doesn't mean that every time i've been asked if i'm pregnant (starting with this grade-A see-you-next-tuesday in 8th grade...i still hate her), it stings a little more. it doesn't mean that a lot of times, i've thought about the fact that once i AM with child, it's not gonna be "fun" flaunting my baby bump because i feel like i spend all day every day hiding what i've got now.  i've got a rocking set of gams that make it hard to buy pants long enough, so i'm no troll or anything...but STILL.

so, life lessons here people.... never, ever, EVER ask someone when their baby is due. unless they are contracting on the floor and asking for your spare epidural from your purse.

and for the record, this is the offending outfit.

totally screams "about to birth a child", doesn't it??

what to do on a windy wednesday

earlier this week, the south was treated to a little taste of summer....aka strong storms, the threat of tornadoes and general weather craziness.

so what's a girl to do when she doesn't wanna risk getting dorothy-ed by leaving her house??

CRAFT. duh.

i broke out my mad summer camp skills for a little lanyard braiding on the necklace....and the bracelet is totally a home depot special, aka nuts and something called masonry twine, known around these parts as hayley's favorite way to get a bazillion feet of neon twine for like $6.

i've got more ribbon, and of course more twine for more jewelry experiments soon! plus...i just might get a few in the shop if it's something you guys think you'd rock with me =)