Deals, Steals and Heels

hayley is much prettier than ansel right?

2012-01-27T12:46:00.000-05:00

oh yes...i'm jumping on the photo-a-day bandwagon. THIS one in fact.

cuz let's face it...i need some inspiration. and you need something to look at that's not random photos of my shoes.

even though at least half of these could TOTALLY be pictures of my shoes.

bring it february. even with your extra day...i'm gonna rock this bitch.

or at least hopefully not totally suck at it =)

is scotchguard the new black?

2012-01-24T12:14:00.000-05:00

between this part-time job gig and crocheting up a storm to get orders finished...i feel like i've negleted my poor little blog!

but if there's one thing that will get me inspired...it's my one true love.

no, not the hubs....SHOES.

i scored these beauties yesterday at target. LOVE finding something i've lusted over online at the store...these weren't a big time steal like my boots were, but they're still super pretty =)

and yes, you have to ignore the fact that it looks like i have cankles in the second photo....cuz i do NOT. they are scrawnier than all get out.

now i just have to figure out the best way to keep them pristine that does NOT involve only wearing them in my house.

also, spent a whopping $13 this weekend...

for a sweet new haircut. about half an inch shorter, but feels SO much better. great clips for the win people...great clips for the win.

promise i'll try and be around more, even if all you'll hear about is yarn and chicken wings!

you'd think i'd get an A for effort

2012-01-18T12:39:00.000-05:00

learned monday....apparently, my lady bits get a solid B+.

doc says things aren't bad at all, and right now she isn't worried. so yay for that. BOO for having to wait on test results...oh yeah, and for having to spend $376 to get my innards inspected.

in other money news...the hubs decided it's time to buckle down and work on a budget (so we can save some money for some little ones in the still-very-distant-future). guess who still has 2/3 of her monthly allowance left, AND has been making some extra cash selling scarves??

i am nerdily proud of myself.

and yes...it's only january 18th. it's all about the little victories here people.

plus they're so pretty all stacked up =)

plus, i got a part-time job at a new wing restaurant in town.

i'm basically a fast-food cashier. but cuter. and i don't hate my life.

i don't really think this is what the bangles had in mind

2012-01-10T11:26:00.000-05:00

manic probably doesn't really describe my monday....maybe more like "quasi-productive for one in a blue freaking moon'??

finished one of these...and made the other 2. and yes...this girl IS super excited about selling these bad boys. cuz...the hubs decided we needed to be on an allowance. aaaaaand i might want more moola than that. (if you dig these and want one for yourself...let me know! i got lots of time, and they're totally less than a fast food dinner for two!)

clearly...these 2 are not enthralled by my mad crochet skills. (just wait til i figure out how to make dog clothes boys...then you'll WISH you got to sleep.)

AND then i wrapped up the day with this delightfully vegetarian dinner from scratch. yep...made quinoa my bitch. (and don't worry....the white-trashy dinner of chicken and potatoes and cheese and bacon is coming later this week!)

not bad for one day.....now if you'll excuse me...i've got more hooking to do. (the yarn kind...not the lady parts kind).

when christmas presents attack

2012-01-04T11:53:00.000-05:00

as my first post of 2012...this could be about my new year's resolutions.

but it's not, because i don't make them.

it could be about my lovely christmas, since i haven't been around much since then.

but it's not...because one of my gifts turned on me.

my mom knows how cold i get, and how i love to be cozy....so she lovingly got me a pair of fuzzy socks that come all the way up to my knees. they are grey and squishy and cozy and i love them.

but yesterday....our relationship too a rocky turn.

because socks, plus this

equals the biggest, nastiest bruise on my right ass cheek EVER. and yes...i did in fact fall all the way from the top to the bottom. on my ass. omg.

don't think i didn't contemplate trying to get a non-scandelous picture just so you could see how HORRID it looks...but then i figured no one really needed to see my humps on the internet. especially not in that condition.

it's like the universe said "welcome to the new year hales...you're still REALLY FREAKING CLUMSY".

at least i can still blog with a battered bum.

hooking my way to the top...if only the doctor wasn't involved

2011-12-22T12:05:00.002-05:00

remember how a few weeks ago i said i was teaching myself to crochet??

LOOKIT WHAT I MAAAAADDDDEEEEEEEE.

see, clearly i am too awesome at crocheting to bother with cleaning my mirror.

i may or may not be slowly turning into a grandma....because i LOVE me some crochet. but scarves are all i can make. so i may have to start handing them out at the grocery store, or wearing4 at the time to justify my habit.

on a totally unrelated note....you know what's awesome 4 days before christmas??

GETTING A PHONE CALL FROM THE LADY DOCTOR.

oh yes...the infamous "abnormal pap results" right here. according to the rude lady named jennifer on the phone who could not answer my questions...my tests came back HPV positive. so that's awesome. OR NOT.

i'm hoping that it's either a false positive, or a flare-up because of stress...cuz apparently that can happen. like you're just walking around all HPV-d up, and never know....but then you have a week where your great-aunt dies, then your best friend's baby dies, then you get into a screaming fight with your sister...then 36 hours later you're at the doctor and then two weeks later some bitch named jennifer calls you and tells you it "doesn't automatically mean you'll get cancer". THANKS TWAT, I KNOW THAT. although, if you're gonna go down the dangerous path known as google...there are a LOT scarier things to google than HPV. when i was in college, i was convinced i had meningitis. i did not.

so now i get to go BACK to the land of stirrups and open-front gowns...IN THREE WEEKS. so....i'm guessing my lady parts aren't gonna fall off right away, since they are apparently in NO hurry to see me. stupid jennifer.

and for the record....this has NEVER happened before, and i have been doing the dirty with one dude exclusively for 5 years. so your guess is as good as mine as to what the eff is going on. i'm REALLY trying not to freak the eff out...cuz you know, that's a super fun thing to happen RIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS.

anyone else ever dealt with the dreaded abnormal?

how does "ridiculous" sound as a middle name?

2011-12-14T13:38:00.000-05:00

sometimes when life throws you a WHOLE lot of grownup stuff in a short period...you go a little wacky. you spend most of your time either reading a book....or sitting on the couch with a friend, downing bottles of wine and just bitching about everything.

so that's where i've been lately...but i've also noticed several random things i can't get out of my head.

#1. these pajamas.

so what if they're for dudes?? so what if they're covered in robots and probably have a wang-hole in the front, which i have no use for. I WANT THEM, AND I WANT THEM NOW. or for christmas. but soon.

#2. hi, my name is hayley, and now, in the 12th month of 2011, after seeing a bazillion bloggers and a bazillions pins...i believe i have finally mastered the "sweater over a button-down" look. too bad i only have 3 button-downs....and BADLY need to do laundry.

#3. how long would you get it will take a 29 year old man to stop giggling like a child every time i talk about our dutch oven? CUZ IT AIN'T STOPPED YET. boys and their fart jokes....apparently it never gets old.

#4. i get irrationally annoyed every time i see a "cake pop maker" sold at the store.

THIS JUST COOKS BALLS OF CAKE. which are not the same as cake pops. they have no moist delicious mixed with frosting insides. they are just BALLS. OF. CAKE. if i wanted a cake pop and got a ball of cake...i'd be PISSED.

anyone else on the random train lately? or is it just me and my robot-pj-wearing, anti-ball-of-cake self?

making like some bread, cuz i'll be toasty

2011-12-07T11:36:00.000-05:00

sometimes, it's really awesome to have a really great husband. cuz he buys you presents that are sort of for you....but really for him, to keep you from whining. it's a win-win!!

cuz the hubs? the hubs likes cigars. and the hubs REALLY likes cigars when we're driving places for more than 10 minutes. which is fine....except in winter.

because i end up feeling like THIS is his mustang, versus the regular kind with metal and plastic and whatever the heck else cars are made of.

so....the ever-so-thoughtful-and-a-little-selfish man in my life got me this.

what is this little piece of lumberjacky goodness you ask? oh you know...

JUST A FREAKING ELECTRIC BLANKET THAT PLUGS INTO THE CIGARETTE LIGHTER OF THE CAR!!!!!!!

i am gonna be like the opposite of gucci mane, because i will NOT be icy....i will be toasty warm. chilling under my blanket while messing up directions somewhere because i cannot read a map, and controlling the music because the hubs listens to some WEIRD. STUFF.

now to figure out where we're gonna drive first!

a weekend ful of ups and downs

2011-12-06T11:15:00.002-05:00

did i get on a rollercoaster sometime friday and not know it?? because OH MY GOSH, this whole weekend has been super emotional.

the good news? my little sis has FINALLY wised up and dumped her doucheface of a boyfriend. i've had to fake polite with this kid for FOUR YEARS. gag.

the bad news? said douchface decided to go full-on juvenile doucheface and rant and rave on facebook after my sister maturely decided she didn't want the same things as he did, and decided to end it. she didn't cheat, she didn't DO anything but follow what her heart said. so gems like

"Well, i guess now all i gotta do is sell this stupid house and im completely done with this effin town.."

and

"Ill be so thankful when shes out of my house, and out of my life."

and

" Its all a big game and you win some you lose some and people come and go. This one, however is not going fast enough."

MAKES ME WANT TO KICK SOME ASS.

but at least she's free from him, and she's finally seen that she's better off without him. but the next few weeks with her living back at home with my parents might be a wee bit interesting. plus you know...the hubs us REALLY enjoying making long-term plans to maim and/or murder the dude.

and then comes the tragedy that just breaks my heart.

one of my very best friends lost her son today, at 23 weeks along. it makes me so mad, so sad, so sick. it makes me question my belief that everything happens for a reason, because why do bad things happens to wonderful people?? this is just the latest in the long line of stuff that just doesn't make sense to me.

feeling helpless sucks, and i know there's nothing i can say or do to make anything better. so if you're the praying type, or the good thoughts type, or whatever...if you could say one for my friend, i'd really appreciate it.

i PROMISE i'll be back with more fun-type things tomorrow. but for me, will you hug your loved ones if they're near, or hold them a little closer in your heart if they aren't....Rest in peace sweet J.T.H. your "aunt" hayley will always love you. say hi to everyone up there...you'll be in good hands.

will you still love me with claw hands?

2011-11-29T13:19:00.000-05:00

have you ever had one of those days when you're browsing around pinterest, and something catches your eye and you're all "i can TOTALLY do that".

yeah....it happened to me. with these.

from here

and here

see, all these fancy pants crocheted scarves and cowls had me saying to myself "hales, you can most definitely make this happen....plus, it will be totally cheaper than spending $20 on the one you like from target".

yeahhhhh.......this is how it's going so far.

that's a solid 3 hours of work yesterday. cuz i had to watch the youtube videos teaching me how. and then start over when i chained wrong. and then watch another video. and then realize i missed a stitch making the first row of single crochet and had to unravel it. and then i think there was another youtube video...and a decent amount of swearing.

at this rate...i will be wearing this bad boy in august.

of 2015.

drowning in a sea of karo syrup

2011-11-23T13:04:00.000-05:00

sorry kids...no major lists of things i'm thankful for (even though it's a BIG list!) because right now...all i can think about is corn syrup. and pecans (which for the record, are apparently the culinary equivalent of like...gold dubloons. $8 for 12 ounces?! shut it DOWN).

cuz my dad has been asking me SINCE AUGUST about making a pie for thanksgiving. so...this afternoon, i'm undertaking his request.

this pie is up first.

then these bars, because i am totally a glutton for punishment, and can't make JUST pie....and don't want to disappoint my dad with just bars, and no pie.

and to round out the fat girl trifecta, i'm making this PB "cheese" ball.

so in about an hour...the christmas tunes will be cranked up, my apron strings will be tied...and i'll set to the task of dirtying up every single bowl we have in our kitchen.

happy thanksgiving loves!!

anthro has nothing on my local boutique....called the dollar tree

2011-11-16T13:07:00.000-05:00

you know how sometimes you see something, and you think to yourself "I MUST OWN THIS RIGHT FREAKING NOW"??

like...the way i feel about butterfingers in the checkout line, times about a thousand. (or times three, cuz i REALLY love butterfingers)

yeah...i most definitely felt like that when i saw this necklace on pinterest via anthropologie.

and then i checked out the price tag.

AND THIS NECKLACE IS FIVE. HUNDRED. DOLLARS.

there is only one phrase to sum up my feelings about this....bitches. be. crazy.

cuz yeah...i ain't dropping five hundred bucks on some old glasses strung together. if those old glasses came with a french bulldog puppy and weekly dates with ludacris, plus a makeout sesh with joshua jackson...MAYBE.

so of course...i take it upon myself to make it happen. (the necklace part, not the luda-dates and pacey lovin')

lucky me, there's totally a dollar store basically in my back yard (actually, it's right up the street....cuz a backyard dollar store might be AWKWARD.)

so i grabbed 6 pairs of reading glasses and got to work. lesson learned....THESE BAD BOYS ARE HARD TO TAKE APART!!! the red ones and the patterned ones got chucked because their stupid arms wouldn't come off.

BUT the four i could manage to mangle turned out really cute all hooked together with jump rings!

and here's me wearing it in front of my dirty bathroom mirror. i rocked it friday with a white sweater with skinny black stripes...and let me say, EVERYONE loved it. or at least....everyone noticed it. i got a few "ohhhh, i thought you had on 4 pairs of glasses...cool necklace".

so basically....everyone should make one so i'm not the only kid rocking reading glasses as jewelry and getting comments from strangers.

cuz for $4, why not?

who needs benjamins...i've got MISTER WASHINGTON

2011-11-09T13:36:00.001-05:00

we ALLLLLL know i love me some jewelry. high end, low end, whatever end...if it's sparkly, i want it.

like these beauties...i LOVE these druzy earrings. they're like diamonds...but cheaper. plus, they totally remind me of my rock collecting childhood days...which i may or may not be considering raiding for some jewelry supplies. cuz you know...rocks are cool.

BUT they're still over a hundred bucks. and while that's an awesome christmas gift...it's not such a great on-a-random-tuesday gift.

so what did i do??

YUP....i diy-ed.

these fancy little thingies (ear bobs? earring blanks? disks of wonder?) were just calling to me at the hobby lobby.

following this tutorial, i rounded up my mod podge, my trusty martha stewart glitter, and i got to mixing. then i got to waiting (and yes....they are resting between an anthro catalog, and a catalog for GTO parts...DON'T. ASK.).

and the finished product?

i LOVE them. they're black and sparkly, with a hint of green...they remind me of asphalt.

i've got a few tweaks to make next time (and TRUST there will be a next time)...but for LESS THAN TWO DOLLARS....i'd say i did pretty well =) and the best part...i now TOTALLY have a reason to get that neon MS glitter i've been eyeballing...cuz neon pink fake rocks? kill.me.now.for.awesome.

plus, there may or may not be two square blanks filled with glittered glue just begging to be made into bracelets this afternoon!!

anyone else jump on the druzy, or fake version of it, train?

my crafting partner may give me diabetes

2011-11-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

happy monday friends!

i've got some super fun DIY projects in the works this week, and i cannot wait to share them with you...but right now, i've only got one companion while i craft away...

so if you don't hear from me for a few days...it's because i've been crushed under the weight of this GIGANTIC tub of candy (that we only paid $14 for ).

any idea how many tootsie rolls a person has to eat before their blood becomes chocolate?? i may or may not intend to find out...

what happens when husbands are given internet access

2011-10-31T12:27:00.000-04:00

i am aware i'm lucky that i married a handy man. not by profession....but he is a man who is handy. living 1/4 of a mile from home depot doesn't hurt things either.

so last week when we were discussing having peeps over saturday for football...i thought busting out the fire pit would be fun. apparently....our 2 year old DIY firepit that took us 15 minutes to make, and consisted of a hole and a circle of bricks was NOT cutting it anymore.

and so...he gets online and finds directions for making a sweet new one.

first we had to dig a hole.

then we had to put down sand, then pavers and more sand.

then we built the walls the next day with cement blocks. for $75 and 3 hours...not too shabby right??

plus, now the dogs can hang out outside with us when we roast marshmallows, because they can't get in the fire. and trust me when i say....bojangles ALWAYS tries to get in the fire.

anyone else have a boy in their life who gets crazy ideas and has to do them IMMEDIATELY??

also, congrats amy, leah and jessica...i'll be emailing you your shutterfly codes shortly!!

the time i almost had a stroke at target

2011-10-28T12:19:00.000-04:00

for at least 2 months....i have been lusting after a pair of boots. a pair of gorgeous black riding boots that were a fraction of the price of the frye's i've also been lusting after, but would rather not pay $300 for right now (maybe one day though....maybe one day) on target.com.

a few weeks ago they had a buy one, get one 40% off...but i didn't bite the bullet.

AND THEN THEY DISAPPEARED OFF THE SITE!!! i was crushed, they were only online so i thought hope was lost.

then they returned...and still i didn't bite the bullet. i was just trying to be a good girl, and not drop the cash just yet.

yesterday....the universe totally rewarded my patience.

because as i'm browsing the shoe aisles, wasting time...i spy on a shelf a tiny glint of silver...like a pirate's treasure or something.

you see that button? oh yes....MY BOOTS WERE AT THE STORE!!!

aaaaaaand instead of being $70....they were marked down to $35, presumably to get rid of them since they're only online unless someone returns them to the store.

my heart started racing a little....would they be my size? would i love them on my little chicken legs as much as i love them on the website?

YES ON ALL COUNTS!!!

i was clutching those bad boys in my greedy little hands like a crackhead taking one last hit before heading to rehab. like a toddler pageant queen clutches her giant crown. you get the idea...i wanted them a lot.

aaaaaaand then....i may or may not have scoured the shelves, found them in brown and tan, and then pranced my little self to the checkout as fast as my soon-to-be-booted-up-in-style legs could take me!!

so a big shout out to whoever decided to buy a bunch of boots online and hate them...cuz this girl is all the better for it!

can you send christmas cards with wedding stamps?

2011-10-26T11:27:00.002-04:00

the first year the hubs and i lived in our house...i was on christmas cards like white on rice. we had fancy engagement pictures, we had a nice permanent address, AND getting addresses together to send cards was like super-secret-recon for wedding prep.

then we actually got married. and i was a total slacker, and was barely getting over writing thank-you notes. then last year....i was just lame.

but now....now i am DETERMINED to get back on the card train. come hell or high water, i WILL be sending out christmas cards. and thanks to the awesome people at shutterfly...they will not have to be old-school construction paper creations made by yours truly.

cuz see...they have ALLLL sorts of christmas cards to be personalized...if only i could talk the hubs into letting me pick out an outfit for him, and have someone take his photo.

i LOVE this one, the simplicity of the black and white, and the pictures in the tree shape...so different, and so fun!

of course, there's ALWAYS the option of leaving ourselves out of the card....and featuring the four-legged members of our household. BUT do they frown upon tranquilizing your dogs to force them to pose and be on a holiday card? cuz our boys...they are wiiiiillllldddd!!

and there's always the option of managing one good photo, and then having fancy red and green words over our pretty little heads.

the best part of shutterfly's photo card promotion? four words for you...

FREE. STUFF. FOR. YOU.

oh yes, i've got three codes for 25 free cards just waiting for 3 of you =) i'll pick 3 comments on friday, and you'll get into the holiday spirit with me WITHOUT having to spend money! (plus, christmas is LESS THAN TWO MONTHS AWAY, and that blows my mind....a lot). it's a little like i'm santa....but mostly just a girl in a red sweater and black boots. white fur trim is NOT really my thing =)

a-maize-ing anniversary trip....aka traipsing through the wilderness

2011-10-24T13:58:00.001-04:00

the hubs and i have been married for 2 years....but we've been together almost 6. so, we're not super big on the "let's do something fancy for this occasion"....because, for one, our anniversary was on a monday and nate has been a busy little worker bee lately.

and so, we decided to do a little day trip on friday to get out of town, and just spend some time together. our first stop friday afternoon was the mall of georgia, the biggest in the state. then, being a dutiful wife...i totally googled the nearest fry's because if there's one thing that will make my dude happy...it's a giant store full of electronics. (i got a super cute new camera case out of the deal, so all was not lost!)

but all the shopping and walking was just killing time before the main event. the thing i've been talking up FOR WEEKS. the thing that made me all giddy like a kid...

i mean, look at those eyes! do those look like the eyeballs of a person who is a normal amount of excited?? not at ALL.

those are the crazy eyes of a girl who's sitting on a bale of hay, being pulled by a big tractor....TO THE CORN MAZE!!!!

i not only demanded to be taken to the corn maze...i demanded to be taken to the corn maze AT NIGHT. because daytime corn mazes are for parents, and losers. nighttime is the jam.

look how much fun nate is having trying to violate the corn maze rules! veering off the corn maze path....what a renegade.

and of course...this is me, with our bag of s'mores goodies, afraid we're going to have to bust into our stash because we're gonna have to camp in the corn maze until dawn.

because let me tell you....that maze was HARD!! and it's reaaaaaaalllllly dark in an 8 acre corn field on hog mountain road. HOG. MOUNTAIN. that's how you know it was legit.

i swear to you there were times i thought we were NEVER going to get out. ever. once we were all done....we realized we'd only been doing the 2 mazes for about an hour and 15 minutes.

but out in the dark? when you don't know where you're going?? that seems like A LOT longer!

anyone else love some harvesty activities? or had a corn maze make you feel dumb?

little less sandra, little more martha

2011-10-20T13:31:00.001-04:00

i'll admit it...i'm a cookbook hoarder. i like looking at them, i like having them hanging out on my shelf in my kitchen...BUT i don't cook out of them often. at least not on a regular weekday basis.

but i DO have another secret weapon in the kitchen...the same secret weapon i use to make outfits, and find new jewelry to craft.

of course...i mean pinterest.

this week, i've made THREE new dishes from recipes i've pinned....and they have all been awesome.

kinda makes me a little less like crazy sandra lee (except i do LOOOOVE me some cocktail time...just not of the crazy sandra variety. the regular people kind...not the this-is-loaded-with-all-sorts-of-booze-imaginable-plus-a-nasty-ingredient kind) and little more martha stewart (minus the whole convicted felon thing).

first up, sunday night's super easy dinner of spaghetti with artichoke hearts and tomatoes. this was super light, but still felt a little rich...AND the leftovers were awesome.

monday night the hubs grilled up some ribeyes, and i baked some potatoes for our anniversary....i was LITERALLY in a red meat coma all night. but it was totally worth it.

tuesday and wednesday meant double-duty for arguably my most favorite kitchen tool....the crockpot. is there anything better than dumping a bunch of stuff in to cook in the morning, and having dinner ready when you get home?? NOPE.

tuesday was crockpot ravioli casserole...which i totally did not take a picture of. probably because i was starved at dinner and went at that bowl of pasta like a crazy person. not the most original of dishes...but it was good.

then last night....OMG last night. randomly, we went from summer to winter in 24 hours here in the peach state...so i figured a nice bowl of soup would be delish. and delish it was.....holy. cow. this was totally a paula deen approved recipe for crockpot creamy chicken and rice soup...BUT i think you could have it as a brothy soup by stopping before the whole "mixing the rue and adding it" step....cuz you don't have to have the creaminess from the half and half and whole stick of butter....but DAMN if it wasn't ridiculously amazing.

AND i'm totally gonna pull a good daughter move and drop the leftovers off at mama's work for her and the dad to enjoy tonight for dinner....gotta keep my spot as favorite daughter, ya know??

if you wanna check out the other recipes i've been pinning away, you can follow my food board here....but he warned, there are NOT a lot of salads to be had =)

happy thursday ya'll!

It's hard to slow it down when it feels so right

2011-10-17T11:05:00.001-04:00

dear nate,

two years ago today...we finally made it official. we became husband and wife.

and every day since then, i've not ONCE thought that saying yes to you wasn't the best decision i've ever made. EVER.

it seems like yesterday...and it seems like a lifetime ago. i feel like i can hardly remember a time WITHOUT you in it. so how is it possible only 24 months have passed since our wedding?

you're my partner, my other half....the one person who always gets me, always makes me laugh, always makes me smile, always makes me feel safe.

i love that i can be myself all the time around you...goofy and stupid, quiet and reserved, loud and obnoxious. sometimes...all of that in one afternoon.

i love that being with you is like having the best roomate ever...cuz you take out the trash and clean the gross dishes. and usually, you only expect a good meal at night, and some good lovin' thrown in for good measure ;)

every adventure life brings us...i know we'll face together. i can't wait to see that handsome face of yours looking down on your first-born child....BUT let's wait a bit for that, whatdya say? some days i can't believe i'm anywhere near old enough to consider being someone's mama...but i know, when that day actually comes...you're gonna be the best dad EVER. you'll teach our son to be a good man, or you'll teach our daughter what a good man is (and probably threaten every male that comes within 10 feet of her until she's 30...maybe longer).

there aren't even really adequate words to describe what you being in my life means, how much better and more whole my life is with you in it.

i said it then, and i will mean every single word, every single day, for the rest of my life.

I promise to care for you and trust you, to cherish you and respect you, to forgive you and be forgiven by you. I will love you in good times and in bad, when we are together and when we are apart. Your pain will be mine, And your joy mine as well. I promise to be ever faithful, today and for all our tomorrows.

love,
the mrs.

just get me a girdle and call me betty

2011-10-12T13:17:00.001-04:00

so technically...i've only ever seen ONE episode of mad man.

on a delta plane. flying to miami 2 years ago.

BUT i have a passing knowledge of the whole thing, and the swinging 60's retro vibe they're all rocking...and rocking well.

and while i'm more of a bourbon girl....i might have to break out the vodka martinis...

because this vintage ice bucket now lives at my house. and i am OBSESSED with it.

granted...i probably won't use it for an ice bucket, cuz it's basically just a big glass bowl and it's not very insulated.

but the pattern. and the black and gold. and the AWESOMENESS. it had to come home with me from the thrift store.

so far, my mother hates it...and the hubs hasn't decided whether it's retro-cool....or old-lady-hoarder.

that's why they don't get to come to my one-woman retro party =)

i hope paula deen doesn't take my southern card away

2011-10-05T15:45:00.000-04:00

you can learn all sorts of things off the internet....the daily slutiness of your favorite actor. the lyrics to that song you've always been singing wrong.

and best of all....things to cook. and how to cook them.

now, what i have to tell you about my latest culinary endeavor HAS to stay between us. because i have a certain southern sensibility to maintain...along with being able to drink bourbon like water, and make biscuits from scratch with no sort of measuring whatsoever...i also have a natural affinity for fried things. savory things, sweet things...i dig it all. but last night...last night i did the unthinkable.

you see...i put bacon IN THE OVEN.

not in the frying pan, not full of spattering grease and filling my house with wafting smell of cooked pig for the next 2 or 3 days.

that's the best part actually...NO BACON SMELL!! cuz you know...that smell is awesome when you're waiting to eat the bacon. but once you've had the bacon, and then you wake up the next morning and you still sorta smell bacon...but not really. it's just....weird.

so, i slapped those strips on a pan lined with foil, and popped them in the oven. turned it on to 400, and 15 minutes later i had delicious crispy bacon, no smell...AND no pan to clean. amazing stuff.

and in case you were wondering, the bacon was PERFECT on this crockpot potato soup. easiest meal EVER.

plus, it had bacon, so bonus points there.

just don't tell paula, okay?

i needed maternity pants...for my food baby.

2011-10-03T13:35:00.000-04:00

that right there is why the south is ALWAYS last on the healthiest states list.

paula deen had NOTHING on our dinner saturday night.

a family-sized fried shrimp dinner, with fries and hushpuppies...and oh yeah, an order of fried pickles.

we only eat at this local joint about once a year....but that one time, is totally worth the calories and the discomfort from the gut bomb it brings.

because there were literally 2 shrimp, one hushpuppy and probably 4 pickles left.

someone pass me a salad...i may eat only lettuce for the rest of the week.

yeah right =)

happy monday y'all!

surpassing ALL expectations...with a little rattling stick

2011-09-26T11:42:00.002-04:00

you know how sometimes, you make plans, and you think about the plans, wonder about the plans, hope the plans turn out as amazing as they are in your head....and then the plans are just regular? just normal old plans...so you're kinda disappointed?

like being invited to a party....and you keep hoping it'll be all kardashian-ed out...and it's just chips and store-bought dip and crappy ice cream?

yeah....my sunday was like that.

EXCEPT THE EXACT FREAKING OPPOSITE!!!

cuz see, i made plans with my mom and my sis....and i thought our plans would be kinda awesome. maybe even quasi-awesome.

i did not anticipate the most awesome thing ever that i've gotten to do in a long time.

so what's got me all atwitter this monday morning? what hasn't gotten out of my head since 4:35 yesterday afternoon?

um, THIS!!!!

i swear to you, that first "NAHHHHHHHH" had chills up my arms, and my sister and i squealing like the kids we were the first time we saw it.

IT'S THE MOTHER FREAKING LION KING. IN 3-D.

when i say it was amazing...i mean it was AH-FREAKING-MAZING.

you don't appreciate how gorgeous this movie is when you're 11.

you don't really "get" the circle of life when you're not even rocking a training bra yet. you don't "get" that it's not just about a lion....it's about family. and love. and life.

but, 17 years later....you totally still know EVERY word to every song. and sing them. and crack up at the hyenas.

and you know....you may or may not want rafiki to be your new best friend....cuz he probably gives really good advice. and he's got that sweet stick with the rattling things on it.

and i hope the hubs doesn't think that since he didn't go with us to the theater, he's out of the pridelands just yet (haaaa, lion king joke. i can't stop). cuz, the blu-ray comes out next week, and it is TOTALLY coming home with me.

anyone else jumped on the lion king train yet?? are you OBSESSED? and have you figured out how to get "hakuna matata" out of your head??

this is NOT a post about the emmys

2011-09-20T11:05:00.000-04:00

even though i totally watched them.

it's not even about the return of fall tv, which makes me ridiculously happy (and also a little nervous, because keeping up with the DVR can be a challenge!)

nope...this is about hair.

and how i want rachael taylor's 'do on my noggin. asap.

this is my hair now (well, technically this is my hair about a month ago...but you get the general idea).

doea anyone know how hard styling that kind of bob with the serious swoopy bangs is? cuz...i'm kind of hairstyling stupid. i can manage a round brush to turn the ends under. and a flat iron.

anything else someone is gonna have to show me, and i'm gonna have to pray works on my baby fine mop.

also...i thought this hair might work because it looked like rachael had a normal neck, not a freaky giraffe model one...but now i look at myself, and i feel like i have a weird troll-y no-neck!

this is why i need a hair genie who can fix it without me having to explain what i want...because CLEARLY i cannot decide.

this is NOT how you win my affections

2011-09-15T11:44:00.000-04:00

dear library,

i love you. A LOT.

i love being able to browse around your shelves and find new things to read. i like how quiet you are, and that the kids section is on the opposite side of the building so i don't have to deal with children with terrible manners.

i love that i can check things out at a kiosk and not actually have to interact with anyone.

but right now....right now we're in a fight.

because all i want is to finish this mammoth book. it's really good, but it's got a lot going on, so it's not a quick read at all.

plus it's 500+ pages, so a week to read it isn't gonna cut it.

and now you tell me i can't renew it because someone else has requested it?? BUT I'M NOT DONE.

soooo, i've got some bad news.

tomorrow, this little beauty will be coming home with me.

so, like ross and rachel....we're gonna be on a break. because my new toy won't give me books and then snatch them away right in the middle!!

i hope one day we can be friends again library....but time will tell.

love,
a bookworm joining the 21st century.

THIS is what i get up early for

2011-09-13T12:16:00.000-04:00

in college, i made the mistake of registering for FRENCH at 8am my freshman year. it was awful. i never too another early class until senior year when i had to.

when i was working, i didn't have to be at the office until 9:30. so again....no super early for this girl.

but for shopping?? for shopping i will lose sleep over. black friday? alarm goes off about 4:45.

so of COURSE it was no different for the missoni for target launch....this bad boy has been in my calendar for MONTHS.

yes....the hubs did look at me like i was a grade-a nutcase for setting my alarm last night to go to target. but it had to be done. plus, how else was i supposed to fight off all the crazies trying to steal my goodies?? NO MA'AM.

this is my new collection of missoni serveware. the left platter is a really nice weight, and SO gorgeous.

the 2 plates and bowl i'm going all semi-homemade on, MINUS the whole being an alcoholic and making tablescapes. they will be a super amazing tiered serving tray sometime soon, once i find appropriate sticks to glue to them (or you know...hit up the dollar store. and spraypaint some glass. whichever works).

i snagged this scarf while these 2 ladies yapped and yapped about how much they LOOOOOOVED everything. listen here yo...if you're gonna yap, move away from the racks. i gots shopping to do.

i'm still slightly on the fence about the scarf...BUT i'm glad i snagged ir because they were all gone by the time i went to check out. i'd rather have it and be able to return it than obsess over it later.

and now, my most favorite item, even though it never even landed on my radar looking at the lookbook ahead of time. i thought i'd be ALL about the shift dresses....BUT they were all a littttttle bit short. and you know, i'm trying to keep the whole flashing my crotch thing to a minimum. if lindsay and britney can cut down...so can i.

(for the record, i ALWAYS wear underwear. and i do not go around flashing my lady parts to people).

i am CRAAAAAAZZZZYYYYY for this cardigan. it's soooooo soft, and for $50...not a bad deal, considering i have nothing like it.

PLUS it will look amazing with my black boots, OR my brown ones.

PLUS it has pockets. i love pockets.

PLUS it looks like if mr. rogers and bill cosby had a fashionable italian lovechild at an american big box store...and i can't NOT have that in my life, ya know??

the clothes were going FAST at my store, and they didn't have the umbrella i wanted. (but i'm thinking maybe it wasn't in yet? that happened with the liberty of london umbrella i got too). and i MIGHT be planning on getting the $7 sticky note set later this week because it was JUSTSOADORABLE.

anyone else lusting after the missoni stuff at target?

i hate not being able to fix things

2011-09-08T09:15:00.001-04:00

there's a lot of broken hearts in my family today.

and i'm gonna need your good thoughts and prayers, not for me...but for my mama.

cuz she lost her very best friend, since she was little, yesterday. in a terrible way.

this is the woman who bought me a globe when i was about 7, so i could learn about the world around me.

who gave me a lucky penny for my high school graduation present...and the box filler was 50 balled up $1 bills.

who gave me her mother's crystal dishes for a wedding gift, because she knew i'd treasure them.

who's know my mother since WAYYYY before she was anyone's mom. when she was just a crazy kid.

she's the reason my parents met.

she's also spent years fighting...her own demons, and then cancer. but things were better...or so we all thought.

i'm so confused, so lost. i won't pretend to ever understand why someone chooses to end the precious life they've been given....but i won't EVER judge those that do. because you have NO way of knowing what a person is going through, or what their mind is like in those dark moments.

so if you're gonna judge...leave. NOW.
because i just wish i could find a way to make sure my mom is happy again. she's lost SO much in the last 2 years...my aunt, and now her bestie. and i HATE seeing her sad. she's got such a good heart, and she takes everything personally, and i know this is gonna be rough on her for a REALLY long time.

it's hard to feel helpless when it's someone you love. to know what to do, or what not to do. and when it's your mom...it's even tougher.

so if you could send up a little prayer for her, to help heal her heart...that'd be great. i'd really appreciate it.

coulda, woulda, shoulda....just put them on my feet

2011-09-02T12:55:00.005-04:00

i had so many stories planned to tell you today.

like my new army green surplus vest from old navy that i am OBSESSED with...even though the hubs says it's "too outdoors"....what does he know?! he doesn't even know about fashion blogs.

then i was going to tell you about the nice man who offered to drive our new upstairs bathroom vanity to the house in his truck when he saw us struggling to get it IN THE BACKSEAT OF MY MALIBU. sometimes...the hubs doesn't really think through every step of a project.

but no...all of these stories MUST be skipped. because around 9:45 last night, my life changed for the better. all thanks to the piperlime accessory wall (shout out to my fellow projrun lovers)

ARE YOU JOKING RIGHT NOW UNIVERSE?!?

do you mean to tell me the sam edelman pumps i have been coveting for MONTHS, maybe close to a year, in the gorgeous nude snake, and the black...THEY COME IN PINK?!?

pink suede studded pumps?! i don't care if these are the most uncomfortable shoes known to man, and i have to give myself numbing injections every time i wear them, and use those funny arm cane crutch things...I. NEED. THESE. SHOES.

in my life. right freaking now.

because people? these BELONG on my feet. i wore hot pink shoes for my wedding!

so what if i have no job? i'll make my grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch at home with the dogs in my pjs IN THESE SHOES.

plus, my mother will loathe them....so that's always a plus =)

now to figure out how to convince the hubs i need $215 on the most impractical pair of pretties known to man.

i hope you all have a lovely weekend...i have an arm party in the works on saturday of EPIC proportions, so hopefully that story doesn't get bumped for another gorgeous pair of foot candy!

if bob vila was a bitchy redhead...

2011-08-31T13:35:00.000-04:00

this blog would probably be a LOT weirder...but you might get a little less fashion, and a little more plaid shirts.

anyways...i like to call this story "why it pays to live near home depot...and tiling is dirty business"

you see this peach monstrosity?? this is our downstairs bathroom. or should i say WAS. we used it as a bathroom for about 2 months, from june to august 2008.

then we got dog and decided he could live in there instead of in crate...and then began the demise of this heinous room. (the dog is now crated, as is his doggy brother....but the bathroom digs also meant he got litter trained, which is a whole other story).

so sometime last summer we decided to start demolishing this room. which then took a million trillion years because we live in an old house.

so the project is languishing, until 2 weeks ago...when the hubs randomly says to me "oh did i tell you my plan? we're going to have the bathroom functional by the start of football season."

SAY WHA LITTLE MAN?? two weeks?? two weeks to turn our better-suited-to-a-crack-den-on-svu bathroom into an oasis to potty?? ARE YOU OUT YO MIND BOY?!

apparently...he was not.

also, this cart full of tile was wicked heavy. AND THEY DON'T LET YOU RIDE ON THEM EITHER.

no way i weigh as much as this load of tile....i totally call shenanigans.

so no lie, 48 hours after he tells me about "the plan", we've got this crazy self levelling cement going on....it was way creepy. and was a plan B after regular cement wouldn't fix the floor...CUZ WE LIVE IN A JACKED UP OLD HOUSE.

but then the floor looked nice...and all was right with the world. the hubs put up cement board...but that's boring, so no pictures.

sooooo....do you wanna see how lovely it looks, about halfway finished?? will you scroll back up the peach monstrosity so it's fresh in your mind?

oh hello there greyish fake-but-looks-sorta-real stone tiles...all of your backsides have been buttered BY ME. (no fabio involved....but tiling is definitely dirty work).

that space at the top will be some pretty glass mosaic tiles, topped by the same grey tile cap thingies with the curved sides. i'm sure there's an actual word for them.

we spent all last sunday doing the floor, and then this sunday doing the floor edges, and the wall you see. last night, we did the rest of the wall.

thursday we'll be accent tiling, and friday we'll be grouting.

then we just have to install the vanity and the toilet and pick a medicine cabinet and light fixture and patch the drywall and paint and fix the trim and i'm going to stop thinking about everything that's left before i hyperventilate.

SO CLOSE to having a non-crappy bathroom in my house. no shower yet....but that's gonna be a whole other adventure. and yes...i'll be blogging about that too. probably.

mostly so you can validate my hard work, because APPARENTLY the hubs thinks that all wives help out with nonsense like this.

anyone else tackled legit home improvements like this? war stories you wanna share?

if there's no paper...there's no deal

2011-08-29T11:30:00.000-04:00

remember last week when i was all "oh yeah, going back to work, i have to be there 5 whole days"??

yeah...that's all it lasted.

cuz it's AWESOME when the dude in charge tells you you'll be working two days...and then it's five.

and he also says he'll work with your requests, which is that you won't work thursday and friday nights...and then he schedules you for thursday and friday night, because he has another producer who's a total whiny baby and gets whatever she wants just by causing a stink until he's worn down.

NOT THIS TIME MOFOS!!!

cuz when i told him AGAIN on friday i didn't want to work those nights, and that we had agreed to that in the beginning...he chose to ignore me. and schedule me then anyways.

so i told him to shove it up his ass.

nicely of course =)

it was totally professional-speak for "you can eff yourself".

and now? now i'm actually really freaking proud of myself. because normally, i'm the one that goes along with things i don't really want to do, just to keep the peace.

but this time? this time i did what was right for me...which was to show them you can't treat the person helping out, the person who's not contractually obligated to be there and do what you say like crap.

cuz she'll take her skillz and her fake red hair and bail the eff out.

so you're stuck with me again! but this time...i'm back with stories of bathrooms...and surplus vests.

can't hardly stand the excitement can you?

headed back into the thunderdome

2011-08-18T13:31:00.002-04:00

on june 27th, 2010....this was me.

a goodbye kiss....not for my hubs (and no, i do NOT remember why he has on a viking hat), but a goodbye to my former career.

goodbye to long hours. goodbye to crappy pay. goodbye to spending holidays with my corworkers, not my family. goodbye to the news business, and the way it was slowly sucking away my sanity, and my soul.

monday afternoon?

monday afternoon i'll strap that headset back on, and rejoin the media conglomerate i SWORE i'd never go back to.

but this time...it's on MY terms. and only for the short-term.

they've got a producer leaving tomorrow, and no one to fill his slot.

so it's back into the thunderdome for this girl.

so....you'll have to think good, sane thoughts for me.

because get this? when i met with the powers that be...they were all "oh yeah, it will probably be 2 days a week, and doing 2 shows". no bigs. i get the email tonight....yeahhhhhh....i'm working FIVE days next week. 2 shows mon-thurs...and THREE shows on friday.

times like this, it pays to be a total fricking badass at your (former) job. cuz i GUARANTEE, most folks can't do what i do. or did. or whatever.

90% of me is totally down with the idea, since it will be extra cash to pay off the credit cards and get our home renovations paid for (and use $100 to buy myself a nook, cuz i waaaaaannnnttttt onnnneeeeee) and i've already told them i'm only working during the day....minus the first 3 days, because apparently their morning show girl has jury duty. and the news director was SUPER friendly in his email, which makes me pretty sure i will be left alone to do my thing, since i'm kinda saving their asses...you can't ride someone who can leave the park at any time ;)

the only 10%? it's going ARE YOU NUTS HALES?!? WHYYYYY WOULD YOU SUBJECT YOURSELF TO THE CRAZY??

but the majority rules in this case. and the difference now is i can walk out WHENEVER i want. plus...they better hurry the eff up and hire someone asap.

at least my cardigans won't feel so lonely anymore.

i used to frequent another corner

2011-08-16T11:48:00.001-04:00

in 2011, i'm an ever-so-happily married woman, full of a LOT of randomness and a decent amount of snark when the time is right. and you all get to witness it, here in this little corner of the world wide web.

but in 2004?

in 2004 i was this girl, all of 21, breaking hears and locking A LOT of lips and living it up like only college seniors can.

too many parties, too many beers, too many boys, too much fun.

and i totally had a blog back then too.

which i had sort of forgotten about until last night, when i randomly thought of it...and decided to see if i still remembered my log-in info.

HOLY. COW.

you ever read something you wrote a REALLY long time ago, and sort of remember being that person...and sort of feel like it was a stranger??

yeahhhh....that was me. there may or may not have been a few names dropped that i TOTALLY do not remember. so hopefully none of those dudes are still pining away for me...cuz that would be a.w.k.w.a.r.d.

but it was also really awesome to have a window into my past like that, and relive some of those moments that seemed like SUCH a big deal back then. all the stress of finals, new roomates, old boyfriends, and loving life as an "adult", with no real adult responsibilities.

there was also a documented version of the start (and end) of my only major relationship with a boy who's NOT my husband. the dude who broke my heart, and who will, forever after in this house, be referred to as "douchey ex-boyfriend".

oh, and in case you need a little window into what my life was like then? an excerpt, from this day 7 years ago (seven?? really?? gah...i feel old now).

"i have made my triumphant return to athens, and aspen, and 62B! and no, despite the horrid cop who pulled me over AT THE ENTRANCE OF MY COMPLEX DRIVEWAY FOR NOT STOPPING AT A STOP SIGN THAT I DID STOP AT, it's been a good day. got up, packed ALL of my stuff cuz i was a total slacker and talked to people until late instead of actually being productive, loaded the car (yay for the malibu! it fit everything!) and hit the road. i have cruise control now for the first time ever, so tried that out a bit, but it still kinda weirds me out, so i'm not so sure how i feel about it yet."

yeah...that's STILL the only time i've ever been pulled over. and i'm STILL pissed about it.

anyone else have old journals or blogs they'd forgotten about, and gotten a kick out of reliving?

2011-08-12T11:47:00.000-04:00

like i mentioned earlier this week...i love books. all kinds of books...from classics, to sappy love stories, to mysteries and memoirs.

and then of course...there's the genre so lovingly dubbed....young adult. at my library, they all have little stickers on the side with a person reading under a tree. cuz you know...that's what young people do.

and of course, there are gems in those stacks, books i want to force all my friends to read, so we can talk about how awesome they are.

hunger games trilogy, i'm looking at you. bravo suzanne collins, i am PEEING my pants about seeing these movies.

then of course...there are the not-so-awesome ones.

that's right stephanie meyer, you're totally guilty of creating the literary version of herpes. it's super fun in the moment...but then you wake up a few weeks later wondering what that burning sensation is, and why you can't get away from the madness and the crap writing.

but equal to my love of books about teens? my love for tv shows about teens.

and there is none better than my most favorite show of ALL TIME, the series i am wholeheartedly convinced contains the answers to all life's quandries...

DAWSON'S. CREEK.

or as i like to call it, the six year vehicle in which joshua jackson cemented himself in my heart at my #1 love, and proved that pacey witter will ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS be better than dawson leery.

for life.

and so when one of my favorite blogs about teen books and tv shows posted an entry about my boyfriend mr. witter, i had to share.

please read, and laugh (especially if you also have 15 year tv tatstes), and revel in the marvel that is pacey witter.

and if you're not a teenage drama fan...well, then you're totally missing out!

but seriously....read the hunger games. it's AMAZING.

happy friday y'all!

how much trouble do you get in for maiming a federal employee?

2011-08-11T11:26:00.000-04:00

there are some things in life that just don't make sense. like spandex pants on anyone over the age of 50. or wearings leggings as pants. or crocs.

you know what else doesn't make sense? only doing part of your job. i don't go to the grocery store and expect the bagger to only load up half of my food. i don't want my eye doctor to only check out one of my horrible-visioned eyeballs.

so i ask you...why does my mailman think it's totally okay to deliver my mail, put it in my mailbox...AND THEN LEAVE THE BOX WIDE OPEN. last i checked...closing a mailbox is not a multi-step project. in fact, i'm pretty sure the apes from that new planet of the apes movie would MOCK the mailman's lack of mailbox closing skillz....they're too busy taking over the world and eventually making charlton heston REAL mad, and even they could figure out how to close a mailbox. i bet even their normal, non-scientifically enhanced ape cousins could figure it out.
because IT'S. CLOSING. A. MAILBOX.

but no, at least once a week, i get to go outside and check the mail, only to see it open for the whole world to see.

see this? this SUCKS. and makes you a really bad mailman.

what if i had a personal letter in there from my boyfriend ludacris, or my pretend BFF kate middleton?? and then someone STOLE it because they saw how awesome i was with my letter from luda and the future queen of england. what if they started stalking me to be awesome by proxy?

WHAT THEN MISTER MAILMAN?? WHAT THEN??

are you gonna protect me in your doorless mail truck? i doubt it. your steering wheel isn't even on the right side of the car.

so get with the program, or prepare for this redhead to go postal....at least on the internet.

what happens when your husband finds a new love

2011-08-08T11:04:00.000-04:00

you know, it's the same old story.

boy finds nerdy sci-fi book for cheap at goodwill.

boy LOVES said nerdy sci-fi book, and proceeds to find the rest of the series for cheap on ebay.

boy can't wait until the mail comes to keep reading, so boy finds a free electronic version of his new favorite books.

boy spends the next 2 weeks plowing through the books on his phone.

boy decides he wants a screen bigger than 3 inches.

boy buys himself a new toy friday night.

boy now loves his new nook color more than he loves his lovely girl.

so of course...now girl can't decide if SHE wants a fancy new e-reader too.

i have ALWAYS talked trash about e-readers, because i LOVE books. i like the way they smell, i like they way they feel, i like the joy of having them and checking them out of the library and browsing for new ones.

BUT i hate having to wait until the library gets around to my request for the new book. it would be nice to be able to cart around a few ounces of machine, versus a lot of ounces of book when i'm travelling, or sitting at the doctor's office or whatever.

so thanks to the hubs and his new love, i'm contemplating spending my birthday money on a new nook. anyone love their e-reader? anyone else's significant other have a love affair with electronics?

adventures in the land of the hippies

2011-08-03T11:16:00.000-04:00

you didn't think i'd abandoned you, did you?? heck no....i've just been being lazy for 2 days, recovering from our 5 hour drive home sunday afternoon, and the fewer hours of sleep i was going on spending a weekend with my girls!

our humble abode for the weekend...it was totally cute inside. except i forgot to take pictures of the inside.

BUT, the hubs and i did totally snoop around while waiting for everyone else to arrive...the owner has christmas decorations in an antique buffet, and birthday candles in this storage thing in the kitchen.

plus quilted placemats on the dining room table. which did NOT involve snooping to discover...but they did offend my general sense of taste, and the fact that it's not 1986.

2/5 of our party, on the streets of asheville saturday afternoon.

IT. WAS. HOT. but i kept checking the weather for back home and taking solace in 90 degree temps, versus a heat index of 106.

also, totally got that blue shirt for $3 at target. i wish i'd gotten lots...so i could bring them with me. because if i NEVER see another 40+ year old man with a bear gut in super-short cutoff jean shorts and NO. SHIRT.....it will be too soon.

in case you were wondering...there are A LOT of hippies in asheville, nc. a LOT. we saw one guy (arguing with the jesus freaks preaching on the corner, NATURALLY) who had dreads....but instead of ropes of hair, it was one giant mat of hair on the back of his head. like a beaver tail.

i would have sneakily taken a photo of mr. beaver...but i was afraid it might startle him and he'd attack. or smother me with patchouli. that's what mr. beavers DO.

see, the hubs and i keep things classy, even in the land of the unwashed.

PINKIES UP YO!

and i have quite the story about our trip home...but it needs a little photographic help. which should arrive soon =)

headed up the highway with my hubby

2011-07-29T11:44:00.001-04:00

by the time you read this, this giant pile of clothes (which, for the record, took me like an hour+ to narrow down to only this pile)

me and my driver, aka the hubs, will be burning up the asphalt, heading from GA to NC for a much needed weekend away!!

we'll also be hanging with 2 of my besties for a raucous weekend of outdoor music and lots of vino and hopefully NOT a lot of headaches and pains ;)

we have more junk food packed for one 6 hour roadtrip than any two sane adults should...BUT a good raodtrip is defined by the snacks, right??

hence the twizzlers. the swedish fish. the pringles. the combos (pizza pretzel, thank you very much). the chex mix. the NASTY salt & vinegar chips that i will NOT be partaking in. plus all the cookies we bought to share with our friends when we get there.

and coke zeroes to drink. because if you're gonna give yourself a mobile crap coma...you don't want to waste calories on the beverages.

i'll be back monday, hopefully with LOTS of fun stories...if not, i'll at least show you the bracelets i'll be wearing each day!

have a great one friends!

sunny yellow summer treats

2011-07-28T11:40:00.003-04:00

when the sun is shining and summer is in full swing....is there anything better than yellow?

for the past 2 nights, my dessert has been my most favorite thing EVER. and for once...it's not candy or baked goods.

it's peaches. JUST peaches.

with a little sprinkle of sugar. cuz at first it's crunchy, but then it melts into the peaches and makes a super sweet syrup that coats the fruit...and sometimes, there's enough syrup to drink at the end.

it's like the milk left over at the end of a bowl of cereal....but a bazillion times more awesome. that milk is like mud water compared to this.

being from the peach state itself...i'm totally a peach snob. i hardly ever get the teeny little fruits that show up in stores at the beginning of the season. they aren't good enough.

but when i can smell the sweet nectar coming from the giant mound of peaches chilling in the produce section?? IT. IS. ON.

did you know that peaches HAVE to have a certain number of cool nights during their growing season to be good? the dip in temps at night boosts sugar production, making them super sweet.

and you can tell a ripe peach by smelling where the stem would attach? it should smell like peaches.

in case you were wondering...my extensive peach knowledge is NOT how i managed to snag a husband. he doesn't even like peaches.

but if i needed to pick up a dude in an orchard? it would be ON.

also, totally finally spent my old navy groupon today (with 3 days to spare, thank you very much!) on this awesome gingham shirt. too bad it's 9 billion degrees here until october, or i'd rock it right now.

LOVE the yellow, love the rolled sleeves, can't wait to wear it with boots and skinnies in full ellie mae style this fall...with some funky accessories to counteract my complete transition to not-so-beverly hillbilly.

anyone else got some favorite yellow beauties lately?

working my fingers to the bone

2011-07-26T13:22:00.001-04:00

okay...maybe "working" isn't really the right word, since it's more like "passing the time chilling on my couch watching tv shows recorded on the dvr"....but working sounds better.

first up, 2/3 of my sister's birthday present! those honestly wtf girls are ALWAYS on their game, and getting me on MY game as a result. i whipped up the ubiquitous (SAT alert!!) hex nut bracelet, with some brown leather lacing, and just a few nuts for my daintier jewelry loving sis. we DEFINITELY differ in that respect ;)

i also used this tutorial for the wrapped bracelet...but the hobby lobby had no "waxed linen cord", so i busted into my trusty stash of embroidery thread. took AGES to wrap the dang thing...but she loved it. so that was good =)

got bored one afternoon last week and did this in about 20 minutes. sometimes...the beads speak to me. in a "i have to wait and figure out what to make with them" way....NOT in a "i've been sniffing too much glue and i've started to lose it" way.

i think it looks pretty antro-esque...and i LOVE it paired with navy or darker magenta.

and i partially conquered my nemesis the stretchy cord. that clear stuff is GREAT for making bracelets with no clasps...but OH MY GOSH if you have sweaty hands you will end up cursing those teeny filaments from here to kingdom come. and probably restring the same damn thing 15 times.

but eventually it will look good. and then your mom will try to steal it.

so you have to promise to make her one of her own so she won't.

is it wrong to plan my days around trips to the craft store, and blocking out time to make bracelets?? cuz that's TOTALLY happening at casa de hales.

she's always been my favorite

2011-07-22T11:49:00.000-04:00

you see these 2 girls?

they grew up to be these 2 girls.

and today, the youngest of those 2 girls turns another year older. she's now the ripe old age....of 24.

i was 4 years, and 13 days old when i officially lost my status as "only child". then i became "big sister".

the only thing i distinctly remember for the first several months of her life was how QUIET i had to be. all the time. seeing as how, to this day, i haven't totally mastered the whole "inside voice" thing...this was QUITE a challenge for toddler hayley.

i also called her stinker until she was 2.

and since then...she's ALWAYS been squirt. i don't know how it started, i was only 6 after all...but since that day, i rarely, if ever call her by her actual name. which is robin. in case you wanted to know.

when she played soccer in middle school and high school? always squirt.

in my phone? squirt.

and no, NO ONE else is allowed to call her that. she doesn't even respond unless it's her beloved sister ;)

when we were younger, up until i went off to college...we fought. like cats and dogs fought. like knockdown, drag out, screaming and hitting fights. it's because we're too alike in some ways...and they always say no one knows how to push your buttons like a sibling. which is what we did. ALL. THE. TIME.

but 4 years apart, and 4 years of growing put us in a much better place...and now i most definitely consider her my friend, along with being my sister.

in college, when guy friends would comment about the "hot girl" in my photos in my apartment? LOADS of fun telling them it was my 15 year old sister.

but more than being gorgeous (which she totally is, and if i didn't love her i'd hate her for it), this girl is amazing. strong, and hard-headed, and smart in all the ways her sister is not (that would be math and science).

it's hard to sum up the way you feel about the one person who's seen you at your best and worst, and brought out the best and worst in you. but i do know i love her to death.

so today, i wish my baby sister, the ONLY one who truly gets what it's like to have our parents for parents, and my favorite sibling a VERY happy birthday!!!

she's getting some DIY gifts, so stay tuned for those =)

i bet al gore is pissed they stole his idea

2011-07-20T11:38:00.000-04:00

i think we can all agree that hollywood is slowly but surely running out of ideas. like...there is a final destination FIVE coming out. how in the world are there FIVE movies about death coming to kill teens who escape death?? i don't get it.

but sometimes...sometimes i get giddily excited when i see news of a movie being made....

BECAUSE SOMETIMES IT'S FREAKING CAPTAIN PLANET!!!!

i am literally dying a little at the thought of of a live-action CP movie. cuz everyone knows the way to teach people about not littering is not with al gore being boring...but with a bunch of teens with magic rings who summon a superhero...WITH THEIR POWERS COMBINED!

i most definitely always wanted to be Gi, the asian girl...she seemed like the smartest. yes...i was the kid who did not want to be the blonde girl who got attention from the red-headed boy...i wanted to be THE SMART ONE.

it's no wonder i didn't get kissed til i was 19.

also, did you know levar burton was the black kid?? i totally wikipedia-ed that ish yesterday.

i feel bad for whoever has to be ma-ti, the kid from south america. because first off...his power totally sucked. no controlling the ocean or the wind or the earth...he had "heart". so sometimes he could talk to animals or some nonsense. BOOOOORRRRRIIIINNNGGGG. at least he had a monkey, that was pretty cool.

and yes...i apologize for getting the captain planet theme song stuck in your head...cuz i KNOW it's there. cuz he's our hero...he'll take pollution down to zero.

it's kinda awesome being the hated neighbor

2011-07-14T13:13:00.000-04:00

here in the south, summer storms are no new thing. usually every few days, some big thunderstorm rolls through, dumping rain, rattling windows with loud booms, and then moving on in 20 minutes or so.

same thing happened yesterday...except with ONE minor difference.

that would be a giant tree from our backyard. in the street.

can you see the black spot on the transformer? that's when it blew, and made our house flash green, which was the CRAZIEST thing ever.

that? that would be the power line said tree snapped off the top of, when it snatched all the lines down into the street too.

that? that is our neighbor's power meter...RIPPED OFF HIS HOUSE. ooopsies!

the bright spot in this whole debacle?? we have a corner lot. so OUR power lines from the main line come from the back of the house. sooo.....our power was back on in about 90 minutes! everyone else on our block had to wait for them to take the broken pole down, put the new one up, and run the new lines....plus you know, neighbor's busted up box.

oopsies =)

beating the heat with new bling

2011-07-12T14:48:00.000-04:00

you see that?? the "feels like"?? that's HOT. even for this georgia girl....103? HOT.

so i've been keeping my pretty little red head indoors, enjoying the AC.

BUT just enjoying the AC gets boring...so of course, i've been doing a little crafting. i have a set of silver bangles i wore for my friend's indian wedding...but the plain bangles were turning from bright fake silver to tarnished fake silver.

so they're perfect candidates for a little jazz.

i took a rhinestone strand and pried off a section, and glued them to the bangle.

and yes, that's my crafting stash on the ottoman...i MAY have a problem buying beads and chains and embroidery thread.

after about 20 minutes of wrapping the bracelet tightly with embroidery thread, and glueing the ends down,

i now have these to little lovelies! they're really thin and delicate, which will make them awesome for throwing on with a ton of other bracelets and my new rose gold watch =)

i still have 2 to go, i'm thinking maybe a blue/green, and an orange? or maybe pink.

and i might be planning on buying some black rhinestones for a whole other look....

anyone done any fun DIY lately??

i wish i got spoiled like this ALL the time!

2011-07-11T14:07:00.000-04:00

now that i'm 2 full days into my 28th year...it's starting to feel normal.

oh, who am i kidding....once you get past that magical "hey, i'm 21 and don't have to worry about the po-po crashing my house parties and arresting all my friends" birthday....they all sorta feel the same. they're fun, you get presents, you get cake...but it's not all "OMG, i'm 28!! holllllaaaaaa!!".

plus, now i have to stop calling the hubs grandpa, since he's now once again only a year older than me, instead of 2. oh wells.

guess i'll have to take solace in the fact that i got myself lots of new fun stuff for getting old(er).

first off...i was totally obsessed with my outfit for lunch with my fam. it hit me randomly friday night that the navy stripes might look cute with the yellow floral...LOVE. IT. i'm already contemplating other color/pattern mixes, plus figuring out what will go with my coral striped cardigan that's exactly the same.

this year, mom called me and said she hadn't bought me anything for my birthday. at first i was all "say wha dear mother?? i'm your first born child...you should TOTALLY be showering me with gifts that you've lovingly thought of for months!"

but then she said we were going shopping instead, and i totally forgave her =)

we found these 3 tops, i LOVE them, and they're all so different from things i already have in my closet. plus, the purple has these straps under the crochet part that will hide my bra straps, so i don't have to die in a strapless bra in the middle of the summer. cuz that sucks.

these 3 purple/blue tanks were snagged from the clearance rack at target. mom was all "i do appreciate you trying to find a deal....but we don't HAVE to shop on the clearance rack!". oh mom...you know i love a bargain, even if someone else is paying. plus, everyone knows paying less for things means YOU GET MORE THINGS. and i'm all about that.

i love this dress. love. but i think i'll love it even more in about3 months when it's cooler out...cuz i am already dying at the thought of wearing it with black tights, brown boots and a cognac leather jacket. IT WILL BE AMAZING.

it will also probably get worn asap with black wedges. cuz that's how that dress rolls. by being multi-seasonal.

these sandals are so super cute, and have magic powers....see, they DON'T make my freakishly long toes look freakishly long. it's a good time had by all.

now, the mama isn't the only one spoiling me. the hubs of course got in on the action. all these pictures? taken with my sweet new fujifilm camera.

which i can drop and not break. and freeze and not break. and drop in the pool and NOT. BREAK.

it's basically the perfect camera for klutzy girls like me. he does know his wife pretty well. i gotta get used to what all the settings and buttons and lights mean...but it's nice to not have to rely on my phone.

especially since i had to get a new one. because i dropped it in the pool. klutzy i tell ya.

oh yeah, and meet my new best friend. her name is rosie.

okay, i totally did not ACTUALLY name my new rose gold fossil watch. but i do love her. and yes, she's a her....she's ROSE gold, that's not a dude color. she's perfectly chunky, and she's perfect on my arm with all my other bracelets. might see about getting one more link, just to make her a little looser.

i hope you all had a great weekend too!!

loving vintage for my last day at 27

2011-07-08T11:22:00.000-04:00

if there's one thing i love...it's jewelry. the understated, classic kind. the kind with memories attached. of course the kind i make myself. and lately...the kind that's either old, or looks like it ought to be.

this was my necklace pairing yesterday. the colored necklace i snagged from my mom, who had it at home in with a big box of my aunt's jewelry that she got when my aunt carolyn passed away. let's be honest...mama is NOT gonna be rocking this particular piece of neckware. but me? i LOVE it, and it looks so different from anything i've ever seen! the gold necklace mama bought me a few weeks ago at an antique store...again, love rocking things no one else has!

and these chunky beauties came home with me from a trip to forever 21 a few weeks ago. when i wore the triple stone one, i got more compliments than i think i ever have just wearing something around! it's so pretty, and i think it'll be awesome this winter too. the big stone necklace is actually a dark burgundy/brown stone...haven't figured out what to wear it will, but i'm sure i will =)

mom is taking me shopping this afternoon for my birthday, so i'm hoping i'll find some vintagey bling...and maybe i'll get some tomorrow to share with you monday, as an old lady ;)

i'm gonna go ahead and have the t-shirt made

2011-07-06T11:19:00.001-04:00

proclaiming my status as worst blogger ever. (or at least worst blogger that lives in my house. cuz my dogs are ALWAYS up on their game).

i worked for 3 days last week and didn't have much to say.

then i spent the weekend hanging with friends and not taking pictures or thinking about what to blog next.

then my beloved phone got dropped in the pool (score one for the universe and its HILARIOUS sense of humor...first time in 10 years anything has ever happened to my lifeline!)

luckily new phone should be here by this afternoon....i'm SUPER stoked about the unintentional upgrade. NOT so stoked about the $99 it cost, plus the fact that i have to START OVER ON ANGRY BIRDS!!!

legit, more than a little irate.

BUT a new phone means i can take pictures of the latest pretties to come out of my "studio" (cuz that sounds better than living room couch right?!).

also, i'm totally getting old this weekend. so i'm sure i'll tell you all about that.

and to make sure you don't leave without a little practical advice...if your dog is also a computer hacker and does this to your laptop...

you just have to hit ctrl+alt+down arrow to fix it.

in case you were wondering =)

how does a party of 3 get out of hand?

2011-06-27T00:35:00.000-04:00

i'm still not exactly sure how it happened...what started as an innocent invitation for 3 of my besties to come hang with me friday night while the hubs celebrated the departure of his work nemesis....turned into our version of this.

for the record...this video makes me love one katy perry even more than i already do.

here's a little timeline of how our friday evening went down::

7:30pm - friends arrive, with snacks and wine.
8pm: we pour ourselves a glass, and proceed to watch the glory and wonder that is the season finale of intervention season 2....aka sylvia.

she drinks 15 airline bottles of vodka a day. she DEFINITELY knows how to party.
8:50pm: look up old episodes of SNL on netflix, to watch amy poehler being the wonder that is amber.

she's got one leg, and yeah she farted....JEALOUS?!
9:15pm: show my friends the new katy perry video, since i think it's awesome. friend proceeds to mention that we also need to watch the new britney video.
9:20pm - 1am: that simple suggestion of watching the new britney spears video led us down a past of video nostalgia that was EPIC. we drank almost 2 big bottles of wine between the 3 of us, and proceeded to watch, and sing along at the top of our lungs with britney, backstreet boys, nsync, hanson, o-town, m2m, steps, s club 7, b*witched, and that's just the ones i can think of off the top of my head.

nate came home to BLARING 90's pop music, and us being ridiculous and dancing around.

it. was. EPIC. i may or may not have done the running man in my living room several times, because it just seemed SO appropriate for reasons now unknown.

i've also had songs i haven't heard or even thought about in a solid decade or more stuck in my head all weekend.

anyone else ever had a casual shindig that turned into a house party for just a few?

how am i tired from a lazy weekend?

2011-06-20T11:41:00.000-04:00

i had basically 2 very simple plans this weekend. see my dad for father's day, and hang at the pool for one of my best girl's birthday.

so why the heck am i still so tired?? this weekend wiped me!! granted...the getting up at 8ish this morning didn't help. yes, feel free to hate me for whining about 8am being early...i'd hate me too.

i had to drop my car off at the shop...and walk home. it's only about 1/4 mile...but still. NOT happy about it. also crossing my fingers that 1. the hubs is right that it's the CV joint/axle/something or other that's broken. and 2. it does not cost 14 million dollars to fix. cuz sometimes...that's what they charge.

alright, back to my "lazy" weekend.

see that dude on the left putting together LIME GREEN PAPER LANTERNS? that's the daddio. cuz nothing says "i love my eldest child" like manning up and decorating her wedding reception. LOVES. IT.

so what does a girl get her motorcycle loving dad? easy...a harley collar, complete with studs...FOR HIS CHIHUAHUA. it was totally the most ridiculous gift ever. and he ADORED it.

score one for the redheaded daughter.

this not-very-pretty-at-all cupcake is one of 3 survivors of my friend's birthday. it's also secretly not a cupcake...but a cookie/brownie hybrid of deliciousness. you can snag the recipe here, but please try and ignore that my treat looks like a big ole loser next to the real picture.

and no, since you're asking...i do NOT have plans to eat a spoonful of this leftover homemade chocolate marshmallow buttercream.

I WOULD NEVER!

.....until after lunch.

my arm feels naked

2011-06-14T13:38:00.000-04:00

okay...it's not REALLY naked. well...it is. because i live in georgia. and it's been hovering between 95 and 100 for like a month straight. so me and sleeves aren't real good friends lately.

BUT i have been on a purse hunt. i got tired of the blue one i was carrying...and then i got a used teal one from a friend. and now i want something else.

i found a great deal on a grey fossil bag this weekend, real leather and only $88....BUT then i got it home and tried it on a time or 2 and didn't love it. so back it will go.

i searched online, and while i have a deep and abiding love for a $700 coach bag...the hubs would probably kill me, or make me start turning tricks to pay for it. at the very least, i wouldn't be allowed to make him clean the nasty sink trap where all the gross wet food particles go...and that is one thing i REFUSE. TO. DO.

so i need to know if you love or hate either of these bags...and which you love or hate more.

there's this gorgeous purple, which i think wins the color war...like it's straight up summer camp or something.

sidenote: anyone ever watch the 2 hour documentary "fat camp" on mtv, and its sequel "return to fat camp"? nothing those whiny fat girls hated more than color war.

my only concern is that the top handles aren't very long, and it might not fit on my shoulder well. the chain probably would...but will the chain bother me?

then there's the orange...i've never had an orange purse before. i think the top strap is a little longer, so it would probably fit better on my arms...and i dig the shape and all a lot.

basically...i suck at choosing. but i need to pick one, because they're only online and i don't want to have to ship it back.

so help a sister out and tell me what you think!! i'll love you like a fat kid at fat camp loves extra helpings of dessert =)

i'm like indiana jones...and my holy grail just (re)appeared.

2011-06-10T12:55:00.000-04:00

back in the day, when the hubs and i were still just dating, with no legal paperwork binding us together (minus our townhouse lease)...i had a dream.

a dream of a world where one day, now that i had a place of my own and a handsome dude to cook for...i'd own what every girl dreams of.

not diamonds...even though i got those down the road.

the only thing i wanted, the one present to this day i've asked for and NOT gotten at some point...

a hot pink stand mixer.

apparently they stopped making this dream of mine before nate and i met. but he scoured the internet that first year for my birthday, trying to make my dream come true. but it was not to be.

fast forward two years and some change.

we make things legal, and people buy us lots of bed bath and beyond gift cards as a reward.

so i get myself this pretty little thing. she's black, she's shiny, she's (mostly) what i've always wanted...

she also currently lives here. in the bottom of my coat closet.

because we have a wretched old kitchen, and no counter space for my beloved. at least, not right now. there are remodels in the works.

so i've been tra-la-la-ing along, safe and secure in my knowledge that even though my mixer is hidden away...she's there.

but now....now, there is a twist in the story.

::cue dramatic music...like when something is about to go down in a movie::

HOLY. SHITBALLS.

IT'S MY MOTHER-FREAKING HOT PINK STAND MIXER!!!

there may not actually be words for how i felt when i saw this on williams-sonoma's website last night. i honestly contemplated running into our bedroom, where my husband was sleeping (and where he has to get up at 5am for work) and just screeching "she exists!!!!! my precious has returned to meeeeee!!!!!".

but i thought that might be a smidge much.

soooooo....is it wrong to want to return my unopened mixer to bed bath and beyond...and talk the hubs into paying the $50 difference for my pink one? or do i act like a grownup and keep the black because it is much more practical and will not look insane sitting out on a lovely granite slab one day?

what say you fellow bloggers? big girl decisions? or pretty princess mixer that i will love until i die (probably from a diabetic coma from all the buttercream i'll churn out)?

getting close to being old(er)

2011-06-09T13:32:00.000-04:00

one month from today...i will be ever closer to the big one, the birthday everyone dreads....

95.

IT'S ONLY 67 YEARS AWAY PEOPLE!!!! and by then...i'll totally be old. and proud of it.

but seeing as how this birthday is not one i'm allowed to classify as "old"...i shall classify it as...

SPARKLY!!!

i've been eyeing this deborah lippman polish, appropriately named "happy birthday" for awhile. because let's face it....if it looks like a coked-up drag queen would call it "too much"....it's like i'm goldilocks. as in JUST. RIGHT.

but wrong? paying $18 for nail polish. i'll shell out bucks for great shoes, or good food, or the chance to molest one christopher "ludacris" bridges (NOT that that particular opportunity has arisen just yet...but if it did? i'd pay). but nail polish? i couldn't justify it! the only way it made sense to my insane head was to ask for it FOR my birthday. which sort of defeats of the purpose of wanting to wear it for my birthday.

BUUUUTTTTTT, then today my beloved ulta comes to my rescue.

because not only could i get more eyeliner (i've been missing black/brown like a mofo y'alll!!), i also got deborah's cheaper , basically identical cousin. like...if deborah was on the real housewives of NYC....this ulta polish would be a real housewife of new jersey....'s dog groomer.

meet pinata yada yada.

ridiculous name? YES. do i care? NOPE! cuz thanks to sales and a coupon, i got my eyeliner, this polish, a peach polish and a tinted lip balm...for $9. so half of one DP polish.

please remind me of my excitement about this polish come july 12 when i'm contemplating actually ripping my nails off instead of battling with the glitter.

also...is it wrong to plan my ENTIRE birthday ensemble around this? cuz that's probably gonna happen.

the only thing keeping me from melting

2011-06-06T12:30:00.000-04:00

when it's approximately 3 bazillion degrees outside every day....i tend to stay inside. at home.

because i hate sweating.

but i LOVE making some new jewels.

threw this together over the weekend, after finding the giant green pendant at walmart for $3. it looks so vintagey, like my aunt would have had it in her thrift store. and i'd have bought it. but probably for more than $5.

and who doesn't need an armful of awesome for a trip to the discount movies??

the first bracelet is just a chain with charms...it's fossil. and we found it in the parking lot of the mall. just chilling by itself with the pricetags on. the hubs is pretty sure someone tried to shoplift it, and then in a flash of karma, lost it. so they did not get to profit from their crime.

but i did. so sue me.

also bought the bangle with the stones...for about ten cents. cuz coupons + clearance = awesome.

but the rest are all hayley originals.

so i'll be spending my hot georgia summer chilling on my couch watching reruns of true life and stringing beads. cuz THAT doesn't sound crazy and lame at alllllll =)

cuz i'm a celebrity...in my own head.

2011-06-01T12:45:00.000-04:00

you may remember back in april, i decided to try out red lipstick....it was tres "loooook at meeeeeeeee and my face!!", but...i kinda dig the whole center of attention thing. comes with being the first-born or something ;)

now, red is awesome. we all know this. red lipstick is sassy and classy and ever-so classic.

but what if i don't want classy and classic? what if i wanna get my celebrity red carpet on and bust out the summer of 2011 super fun look?

oh yes, i'm joining the ranks of rhi and gwen and xtina (minus the whole breaking into jeremy rinner's bedroom all drunk at a party)...

this girl's got some hot pink lipstick. and she intends to rock it like a mofo....if she can figure out the best outfit to make her not look insane.

i have a LOT of black shirts...so that might be my default since all these lovely ladies are rocking black....even if it means melting in the 100 degree sun.

anyone else love the bright lips trend?

who doesn't love cookies?

2011-05-31T11:37:00.000-04:00

man, i love a long weekend! even it involved doing some cleaning with the hubs, and watching while he tried to blow his car up....thankfully, that part didn't happen.

now come tuesday...i'm asking you guys for a favor. but it's not for me.

it's for this gorgeous girl, my internet bestie, the ever so lovely ashley. she's been taking a break from the blogosphere to be a kickass mama to that OTHER gorgeous girl you see, my "niece" delaney!! so not only is this supermom BEING supermom...she's also working, and running a side business doing the wedding design stuff she loves...oh yeah, and being an amazing niece herself.

see, her aunt was hit by a drunk driver earlier this month, and just got out of the ICU thank goodness!! BUT her injuries will mean a big pile o' medical bills...and that's never fun for anyone. cuz bills suck.

so my girl has decided to help her "other mother" out by turning her etsy shop into the tree the keebler elves live in.

k, maybe not EXACTLY that, but she is selling one or 2 dozen fresh, homemade sugar cookies, and ALL of the money will go toward her aunt karen.

so go buy cookies. because cookies are delish. and because ashley is amazing, so be amazing for her too, k?

guess who doesn't know what season it is?

2011-05-26T11:46:00.000-04:00

i know the calendar and the people at the weather channel or whatever allege that summer doesn't start until next month.

too bad it's been at least 90 degrees here every day for a solid 2 weeks. cuz i hate to break it to mother nature....but above 80? SUMMER. not spring.

so what does your favorite southern redhead do when the mercury is rising and she's sweating like a whore in church just walking out the front door?

buy things for fall and winter of course!!

technically...i did not buy this exact sweater. i got this sweatery one in a bright purple....for $4. its cotton tshirt material cousin came home with me in black...for $3.

see, old navy might be having a sale where all their clearance items in store are an extra 50% off...and i MIGHT have gone a little nutso.

BUT $7 FOR TWO CARDIGANS?! i can't even get two lattes for that price...plus, the sweaters don't give me the shakes like 2 lattes would.

this beauty in black is now sitting in my closet. i might have done a little twirling for the hubs when u brought it home yesterday...cuz she's so pretty!! and she's so classic, just a black trench.

EXCEPT I PAID EIGHT DOLLARS FOR IT.

i literally cannot wait to wear this jacket....and maaayyyyyybbbbeeee tell everyone that compliments me on it that i got it for $8. cuz that's how i roll.

i also got a black tab-sleeve tee, 2 scarves, a pair of slouchy linen cargo cropped pants and 4 glitter gift bags.

all for $38.

the 50% off clearance sale goes through sunday...so please someone else go get some pretties for cheap...so i can tell the hubs it's NOT just me who can't resist a sale =)

i'm totally gonna get my hulk on

2011-05-25T13:25:00.001-04:00

first off...let me say, that even though the hubs got a surround sound system for HIS birthday....everybody wins with it in the house!!

glee finale in surround sound? AMAZING. i intend to force the dude to watch the sugarland concert dvd with me, while i geek out and sing along.

but he also got some other stuff for getting old...some home depot cards from my parents and sister, so i'm sure there will be a trip to the good 'ol depot in my future.

but more importantly...now we have in our possession the greatest invention ever...or at least the greatest one to provide me with entertainment and keep our inside recycling bin from overflowing...

THE CAN CRUSHERRRRRRRRRR!!!!

my grandma used to have one of these on her back porch...because she lives out in the country and this make it easier to fit more cans in her trashbags that she had to haul 1/4 mile up her driveway to the road...cuz that's how she rolls in the country.

the hubs and i have been searching for MONTHS for one of these...but apparently only grandmas want them because we were out of luck...until mom and i found one in an old-school hardware store and i flipped. my. shit.

i cannot wait to crush cans. and probably yell "CAN CRUSHHERRRRRRRRR" in a deep, pro-wrestling sort of voice.

cuz that's not weird right?

he's embracing his status as a dirty old man

2011-05-19T11:24:00.005-04:00

dear nate,

it's your BIRTHDAY!!! which means you are now 29. which means for the next 6 weeks, i get to call you grandpa because you're thisclose to 30...and i'm a spry and super fly 27.

i love you more than anything...which is how you get me to do yardwork and house projects and other things that even my family is astounded i take part in...because i love you that much.

you also have to love me a lot...because you go along with all my crazy ideas.

like the halloween we were a redneck bride and groom. that was pretty awesome.

you also take various versions of the same picture with me...and you have since the beginning.

but most importantly...you know my heart. and you've always known it, from that first night, and that first phone call, and that first date when i knew deep down nothing would ever be the same.

you're my boo, my hubs, my everything.

enjoy 29, and all the cradle-robbing that comes with it...i hope it's just as fun when you're 99 and i'm only 97 =)

love,
me.

my neighborhood is trying to spite me

2011-05-17T13:12:00.000-04:00

when you don't work...or even when you do work...you get used to a routine. you like things a certain way. you like doing certain things certain days, or having certain things close by.

and then sometimes, THOSE THINGS ARE SNATCHED FROM YOUR GRASP WITH NO REGARD TO YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!!!

mkay...so perhaps that's a weeee bit melodramatic...but if there's a few things you don't mess with...it's my crafts. and my books.

and the universe is currently jacking with my chi on both accounts.

let me give you a little visual of how things are now.

i can WALK to my library in about 10 minutes. at a leisurely pace.

at least, i could...until a few weeks ago, when they informed me they'll be closed UNTIL JULY. for renovations...so allegedly it will make my library experience better then...but now? now i have to drive 15 minutes to the other side of town for free books.

bastards.

and now today, i find out they've started putting all new inventory in the new hobby lobby about 10 minutes away. NOT AT THE ONE I COULD SEE FROM MY HOUSE, IF I WERE A SQUIRREL AND UP IN A TREE.

ugh, i am not a happy homemaker. you are killing me universe, with your upgrades and messing with things!!

at the home depot is still right up the street...the hubs would have a stroke if they moved.

if i'm gone for a few days...

2011-05-10T15:21:00.000-04:00

it's because i finally got my hands on the last 2 books of the hunger games trilogy.

i'm gonna plow through these bad boys like lindsay lohan on a coke bender.

see you ladies in rehab!

there are some disadvantages to having a man around

2011-05-09T13:43:00.000-04:00

i love my husband.

and there are LOTS of good things about having a husband/boyfriend/main squeeze around.

you don't have to do the gross chores like taking out the trash or empty the drain strainer thingy in the sink.

loving on the regular is also a pretty sweet deal.

but sometimes, those fellas make you do things. like manual labor.

see, i've got a man who LOOOOOVES doing DIY projects, which is all fine and well and good...until i get sucked into helping.

i spent HOURS yesterday digging holes to bury those cement blocks you see. so they'd be level, so we could build a shed base on them.

i am NOT kidding when i say our yard is apparently a work of evil, and strictly made of clay and dirt powder and super glue to keep it all in one piece so anything more than a tablespoon at the time CANNOT be scooped out.

oh yeah, and it was about 89 degrees outside yesterday. NOT. FUN. TIMES.

but in the end, after i did get a little fun wielding the cordless drill,

we have this. a wooden base for an 8x10 shed that the hubs is literally peeing his pants over.

except....I HAVE TO STAIN IT FIRST. kill me now.

dude owes me some shoes for all this mess.

cuz mama needs some new neck bling

2011-05-06T16:42:00.000-04:00

nope, not talking about my ACTUAL mama...although she loves a good necklace as much as the next super awesome 54 year old lady does...i'm talking about this mama. clearly in the "i have dogs for children and randomly say things like 'mama like'" sort of way....not in the actual "in the family" way for of thing.

see...about 3 weeks ago, i MIGHT have done a little shopping with MY mama at new york and company. and we MIGHT have gotten a coupon for $15 off $30 that's good this week.

so i MIGHT have broken the siren song of my currently beloved bracelets to do a little necklace shopping.

first up, this multi-colored beauty. i figure it will be awesome with all my brightly colored tank tops and sandals this summer when it's 14000 degrees, with 154% humidity and all i want to do is attempt some semblance of looking cute while trying to keep my face from actually MELTING. OFF.

did i mention it gets warm down here?

next up, this wooden bead and metal chain bib. i'll probably wear it longer than this...because this close to my neck? i feel like i'm choking. i think it'll give a little boho edge to some of my plain jersey dresses i live in in the summer.

or you know, again with the tanks and sandals. and the face melting.

cuz it is that hot.

can a white girl from georgia get some kind of swahili princess name? cuz that's what this necklace makes me feel like....all "coming to america" meets "the lion king".

everyone knows nala was a total lion hottie right? RIGHT.

i want to wear this all the time. i want to put a bazillion wooden bangles on my arm at the same time. i want someone to ask me about my awesome safari necklace so i can tell them i only paid $7 for it.

cuz i'm totally whatever the swahili word for "shopping queen" is.

i want to send this to every high school kid ever

2011-05-04T13:24:00.005-04:00

as i'm relaxing last night, watching my favorite members of mckinley high's new directions (that would be ALL of them....but mostly one brittany s. pierce), i'm expecting some laughs, some tunes, some snark courtesy of santana of course...

what i'm not expecting is being close to tears. from a commercial.

i haven't seen very many things that moved me more than this commercial. if you can even call it that.

it's really just a giant hug to all the kids who feel like they don't fit in, whether they're gay or not, whether they're out or not...whether they are watching or not. it's a hug, with a teeny little blurb about google at the front and back.

and you know what? they're right. cuz high school? or middle school? it ALWAYS. GETS. BETTER.

first off....girls in middle school are TOTAL BITCHES. you couldn't pay me enough money to revisit 7th and 8th grade, without promises of allowing me to sucker punch stupid chicks talking smack without retribution. then MAYBE i'd go.

i had a fine time in high school....but i also went to a smart-kid school. when you're in a magnet program...there isn't a lot of room for the jocks to tease people...cuz they're also in drama classes with you. and making better grades in AP chemistry.

even without getting bullied, i was still a super-tall, kind of chubby girl with glasses and NO game, pining after senior boys and longing to be asked out on a date (which totally didn't happen until college, for the record).

basically...if you peaked in high school, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU. cuz now? now you're probably chain-smoking, coaching a kid's tee-ball team and reliving the glory days. you're trip mcneilly.

i'm so thankful it gets better than those 6 years of my life...and i'm glad there's a group showing everyone the same thing =)

my white blood cells have failed me

2011-05-02T13:36:00.000-04:00

normally, my stellar immune system keeps me well. my roommate freshman year in college had strep 3 times..and i never got sick. the hubs has been sick at least 3 times a year since we've known each other...and i stay healthy.

but every year or 2...something gets me.

so i woke up yesterday feeling like this.

and i've spent the past 2 days doing this

with plenty of this

hopefully i'll be back to normal tomorrow!

trying to contain my jealousy

2011-04-29T11:26:00.000-04:00

yes, kate middleton is now her royal highness the duchess of cambridge.

sort of jealous of that.

2 billion people watched her wedding.

not THAT jealous of that, seems like a lot of expectation.

she look teeny and gorgeous and very much like the future queen of england in her gown.

won't lie...made me a little jealous.

the carriage ride after?

SO jealous.

but more than the gown, or the title, or the prince, or the shot at being queen or the personal stylist and clothing allowance and gobs of shoes and crown jewels at her disposal?

i'm jealous of the tumblr.

SHEER. GENIUS.

i'm on the train...and my next stop is weeks away!

2011-04-26T14:21:00.000-04:00

we all know...i love to save money.
hence why the library is one of my most favorite places....i read like a fiend, and we'd be living in a fort made of books on the street corner if we bought every one i read.

or, i'd have to try and find like-minded readers at the grocery store and the water works and whatnot to barter goods and services for the last novel i'd flown through.

and somehow...that seems unlikely.

which means i've got a serious decision to make.

i put myself on the library request for the hunger games on MARCH 6TH. i got it last thursday.

i read it between 5pm yesterday, and 1:30 this afternoon.

IT WAS AMAZING. like, pee your pants, want to be as awesome as katniss AMAZING.

and now? now i'm number FIVE on the request list for the second book, catching fire. and i may actually go crazy between now and then, waiting for slow-ass, totally ignorant teeny boppers hogging up my book and making me wait!

sooooo....there might be a book purchase (or 2, since i'll clearly need to get mockingjay also) in my future.

anyone else LOVE this book?? cuz none of my friends are readers...and i need to talk about the awesome!

feeling ahead of the game...sort of.

2011-04-25T11:25:00.000-04:00

can you believe easter is over?! here at casa de dukes...we had a GREAT day at my grandmother's house, hanging out in the yard, dyeing eggs, eating hot dogs, shooting a pistol, and taking a trek through the woods to find my sister's dog. luckily...she's back and safe and sound (the dog, not my sis...but she's fine too!).

and now begins what i like to call the holiday marathon.

easter is over.
dad's birthday is the beginning of may.
then mother's day.
the hubs' birthday.
then a friend's birthday.
then father's day.
then ANOTHER friend's birthday.
then mom's birthday.
then my birthday!!!!
then the last friend's birthday.

then it's august. yes kids...IT'S A MARATHON!!!!

so, getting a jump on my shopping is TRES important!!

as of right now....i have THREE gifts in my possession!!

first up is a tee shirt for my dad, the harley-loving dude named bob.

it's black, with a motorcycle on it, and a logo that says "bob's custom cycles". AMAZING.

mama is getting this for mother's day...super awesome puzzle of the home of my (and her) beloved georgia bulldogs. yes, mama loves puzzles...i'm not getting her a puzzle as some rando present!

then mama will be getting her gleek on for her birthday, with this precious jewel i scored for $20 at target last week!! so so excited about her getting this =)

the bad news? still nothing for the hubs....BUT i have plans to get him a couple small things soon, and he has to pick out the surround sound system he wants before i can buy his big present!

as for me?

these will suffice.

FOR NOW ;)

making some changes in the cranial area

2011-04-19T12:32:00.000-04:00

in the last few days...i've finally gotten off my proverbial bum and done a few things that have been on my mind lately. a little biting the bullet if you will.

first off...

on friday, i rocked red lipstick.

for the first time ever.

i've done a darker berry color, or a brick red...but never RED red.

i will say...it made me feel REALLY self-conscious!! like every single person i saw at lunch, or at sam's club or wherever was looking right at my face! i just kept hoping they weren't wondering who the crazy clown-looking girl was!

then saturday, i chopped all my hair off.

okay, so technically it was only about 3 inches...but still. i'm still getting used to it...even though i've had this cut several times. i just hope it doesn't make me look all of 19...we'll see if i get carded somewhere soon.

also on saturday, i picked up this HEINOUS picture at goodwill for $4....but you'll have to wait a few days to see the transformation it undergoes =)

if anyone is wondering...the red lipstick is actually gloss, it's the new revlon colorburst gloss in fire...LOVE it. the pigment it great, and it lasts a pretty long time!

anyone else make some weekend changes?

does it count as spending if it's DIY?

2011-04-14T12:30:00.000-04:00

ahh the joys of being a one income house. the non-earning party (that would be yours truly) feels REALLY guilty when she wants to shop...but the main pc needs a new hard drive, and her beloved hubs needs a new clutch for his car (cuz it makes super scary screechy noises, and while the 6 figures i'd get from the life insurance might SEEM nice...i'd rather have the hubs. plus, dating again sounds AWFUL).

mkay, off the tangent train.

i've found that a lot of times....a trip to the craft store for supplies satisfies my shopping urge, and also means i get fun new accessories on the cheap.

and thus comes my newest possible obsession.

this rope necklace tutorial from honestly wtf.

it's definitely funky, it's definitely customizable to some fun-ness...AND it means a trip to the home depot, so the hubs would be totally down with that.

the good news: i'm pretty sure i can follow the instructions.

cuz i've already rocked out the woven chain bracelet (two in fact....with the thread for several more, just gotta settle up the color combos...mostly neons and bright colors right now!), and the braided hex nut bracelet (again, already have a couple...twine, and some neon ones with silver nuts. do we see a theme??)

the bad news: i'm a little intimidated by it's outrageousness.

would you actually wear this? or would you silently mock the redhead you see at target wearing this when you see her out and about?

should i go for it?

i get dessert ADD

2011-04-13T10:26:00.002-04:00

if there's one thing my husband ENDLESSLY makes fun of me for...it's my snack food/dessert ADD. we have 3/4 eaten bags of chips, half eaten ice cream containers, 18 month old popsicles...you name it, we've got it.

and it's totally all my fault.

i realize it's my fault...it's like something looks SOOO yummy in the store, and i take it home...and i love it for awhile. and then i get bored. and then i forget about treat #1, in lieu of brand-spankin-new treat #2.

wash, rinse, repeat. ALL the time.

so when i fixed myself a snack last night, and realized that this

was almost completely gone, i was a little sad, cuz it's yummy.

(for serious...it's like mint chocolate chip ice cream and cookies and cream ice cream had a delicious chilly love child. and i have a weekly date with said love-child.)

and a little excited to eat the rest soon and show the hubs the empty carton all full of smug-ness!

i need to know...

2011-04-12T12:00:00.000-04:00

is this dress heinous? or adorable?

cuz i can feel it calling to me from target's website...but i can't decide if this is one of those moments when my taste level goes crazy in the realm of pretty patterns.

2011-04-08T12:45:00.000-04:00

in case you are NOT in the know...the lovely kristen has a BRILLIANT idea she likes to call...

and i think it's high time i participated.

*roses to spending sunday here,

at amen corner at augusta national. final round of the masters NEVER gets old...AND i've already got my outfit picked out.

*roses to my new mini spin pins, for keeping my super fine hair in a messy bun like i cannot make work alone.

*roses to my new dress from target,

AND the fact that it is long enough to keep the fellas from offering me cash on a corner, even though it's from the juniors section. cuz sometimes...being long-legged is NOT fun. like when skirts make me afraid my lady parts will show.

*thorns to having a friend continue to act shady, and now start being passive-aggressive about it. NOT. COOL.

*thorns to how expensive my high school reunion is gonna end up being...pre-buying drink tickets? i managed beer and wine at my own wedding...but apparently, that's quite a stretch for a group of 28 year olds!!

*thorns to also realizing while the bathroom is now demolished...it means we have to start spending more moolah to get it back working. money tree for me please?

anyone else playing along with ms. lawlor?

function or fashion?

2011-04-07T12:26:00.000-04:00

i got a fossil catalog on the mail today....and it did wonders for my birthday wish list =)

rose gold and less than half the price of the michael kors one i've been eyeing at dillards? yes please.

also, teal? and gigantic? sign me up yesterday.

is it weird to get a watch to mostly wear as jewelry? like with other bracelets, or with an outfit it matches? cuz i don't really rock a timepiece daily...unless you count my phone. and hello, that's practically a limb!

also...might have gone a little nuts in the embroidery thread section of hobby lobby. might have a LOT of braided chain bracelets planned.

might include a little neon twinge to satisfy my current craving =)

getting my bob vila on

2011-04-05T13:24:00.000-04:00

i am NOT a fan of manual labor.

i don't like sweating, i don't like hauling things.

what i do like?

FINALLY having alllllll of the tile and concrete and drywall and awfulness from our downstairs bathroom GONE.

all that peach nastiness, plus the INCHES of concrete and thinset and glue and wire and RAZORBLADES is gone. GONE.

and how did it get out of there? the hubs did most of it...and he chucked it all out that window.

so we had a pile of crap underneath a bush in front of our house for months. i called it our booby trap.

and now?

it has ALLLLLL been deposited in this dumpster we rented, and hauled away.

we spent SEVEN HOURS saturday hauling everything into this bad boy, wheelbarrow by wheelbarrow.

oh yeah, there were bunches of bricks too, from when we had to have our chimney removed.

i'll be excited to get working on making the bathroom pretty again.

but this weekend...we're resting.

my weekend's so bright i gotta wear shades

2011-04-01T11:03:00.001-04:00

maybe it's the warmer weather, maybe it's that i'm FINALLY getting tired of the dark clothes i spent all winter rocking (black turtleneck and brown boots? LIVE. FOR.)...but i feel like i am in a major bright mood....i wanna wear bright clothes, bright jewelry, bright fingers, bright toes. LOVE.

my fingers? zoya kieko. totally obsessed, love this purple.

don't even get me started on my neverending love for these e.l.f beauty encyclopedias. i have 4 eyeshadow sets and a lip set...so when i saw this bright beauty at target this week, for a solid investment of $5...it had to be mine. REALLY want to rock that bright purple on my lids with some major mascara and a little nude lip gloss.

hautelook credits, thanks a bunches for bringing me this beauty for cheap...love the doubled up stones, and i have the PERFECT earrings to wear with it.

aaaand speaking of bright, this picture does not do this bracelet justice...but my camera has apparently decided it needs a personal day or some nonsense...it better watch out, it'll get sent to rehab faster than little miss lohan can beat up a counselor.

it's all blue and aqua and teal, plus peach and bright orange and coral. OBSESSED.

what other bright color combos should i be digging? i'm already hoping i can find some neon embroidery thread to make a neon/khaki one. maybe orange and purple? yellow and something?

anyone else feeling a little brighter to start of april?

alone on ebay is never good

2011-03-30T23:37:00.002-04:00

i should really learn my lesson about "watching" auction items...cuz i get that crazy alert from my droid app that it's ending soon, and i feel compelled to see what it's selling for.

and then i pull the bidding trigger with 44 seconds left, figuring i'll get outbid like always.
and i end up getting this dress for $52.

at least it's priced online at $168.

ready for summer...with sub-70's temps

2011-03-30T12:05:00.001-04:00

mother nature has dealt us a little taste of fall/winter the last day or so...i wore a light sweater and jacket yesterday on a target run.

BUT my closet? my closet is ready and raring for warmer temperatures.
oh hello new wedges. aren't you 2 (or 4) ready for your date with the outside world?? it's coming soon my pretties.
love these brown ones, and the way they zip up the front...i think they look more expensive than the $20 i paid for them.
and my beloved black dolce vitas....by way of target of course.
yes, i'm 5'10". and yes...i routinely wear 3 1/2 to 4 inch heels. clearly...when i'm not, i'm wearing those ratty grey sneakers. at least when i'm mowing the grass.
and my mostest favoritest thing of all?!?

MY NEW SUNHAT. yes, i have dreams of lounging in my friend's pool, sipping redneck sangria (aka wine and cran-pomegranate juice) out of a tervis tumbler, and feeling MUCH more fabulous than a jobless girl should.

cuz sunhat means trophy wife right?

even though this trophy wife only shelled out $2.50 for this hat...and another $2.50 for its lighter cousin. if i could find a black one...i'd be happy for life.

or at least until september.

the A to Z of the HFD

2011-03-28T11:16:00.000-04:00

it's rainy and cold here today, and what's better on a monday morning than a little trip down hayley lane =)

A. Age: 27...and clearly i act every bit as mature as my age would suggest.
B. Bed size: full. yes, i'm 27, with a husband who's lived with me for like 4 years...and we sleep on a full size bed. one day we'll get a big one...but i'm not convinced it would fit in our bedroom right now. and we'll never get rid of the bed we have now, it's an antique cherry frame from my grandmother.
C. Chore you hate: um...all of them? seriously...i'm the worst housewife on earth. but i LOATHE laundry, cuz putting it away sucks...and dishes suck because food + hot water and soap = NASTY.
D. Dogs: 2. a pug and what we think is an australian cattle dog/corgi mix.
E. Essential start to your day: waking up? used to be coffee in a major way when i had to function in a work capacity in the a.m.
F. Favorite color: let the shoes talk. they say i live and die for hot pink.

G. Gold or silver: both actually. my everyday jewelry is white gold...but i LOVE gold too. especially big fat gaudy stuff lately =) and i dig mixing them too.
H. Height: 5'10" if i'm flat on my feet. it sucks buying pants, and dresses from the junior's department are out of the question...but for the most part i love it.
I. Instruments you play: a little piano, and there was a yearlong foray into clarinet in 6th grade...i still refer to it as a devil stick. damn thing.
J. Job Title: i prefer the term "trophy wife"...perhaps the more PC term is "stay at home wife". or "husband mooch". "unemployed american"? yeah....trophy wife sounds best =)
K. Kids: the aforementioned dogs. Keno and Bojangles are the only babies this girl needs at the moment...
eventually we want to have human babies. are you allowed to laugh when your kids play tug of war? cuz i do...all the time.
L. Live: in the dirrrty south. okay...it's really just southwest georgia.
M. Mom’s name: Debra. and no...we don't look alike AT. ALL.

N. Nicknames: i get hales a lot. that's really about it.
O. Overnight hospital stays: not yet, ::knock on wood:: i figure those human babies might mean an overnight stay...but that's a ways away.
P. Pet peeve: um..do i have to name 1? people who drive with their blinkers on. people who don't know the difference between your and you're. or there and their and they're. people who use big words incorrectly to try and sound smart. things that are spelled with Ks that should be spelled with Cs.
Q. Quote from a movie:"For the record, i do think there's such a thing as fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes." - Can't Hardly Wait. this is the greatest movie EVER. just so you all know.
R. Right or left handed: i'm a lefty! i was ambidextrous as a kid, and my mom thinks i picked being left-handed to be difficult.
S. Siblings: one little sister, who's name is actually Robin...but she'll always be Squirt to me. and i am a WONDERFUL influence on her.

T. Time you wake up: i'm prepared for the hate with this one....usually between 10 and 10:30 am. go ahead, just curse under your breath at me. i can take it =)
U. Underwear: always! i don't get these trampy celebs rolling out to dinner and dancing with no panties. that's weird.
V. Vegetables you dislike: squash is nasty. i don't really like celery. but nothing, and i mean NOTHING compares to my hatred for bell peppers. GAGGGGG. they smell gross raw, they smell gross cooked, they make anything they touch taste like peppers....ick. hate.
W. What makes you run late: other people!! i am notoriously early all the time...i always have been. i hate being late...even knowing ALL my friends are perpetually running behind.
X. X-Rays you’ve had: none...BUT i did get an MRI of my head when i was in high school. i got a wicked sinus infection and ended up having to have surgery, and get a hole drilled in my head.
Y. Yummy food you make: psh, ALL my food is yummy. okay...like 85% is yummy! but i think the hubs would pitch a fit if i stopped making meatloaf and mashed potatoes.
Z. Zoo animal: peacocks. and tigers. and elephants. and monkeys. more importantly than my favorite zoo animal...how's about my husband has never even BEEN to the zoo?? i intend to remedy this soon =)

happy monday y'all!

thought i was gonna have to give google...

2011-03-24T11:31:00.000-04:00

a big THUMBS DOWN.

first off, i have been slightly annoyed since 2009 that i had no way to link my blogger log-in/old email address to my new email address.

then i go last night to check in with what all of you are doing...and it tells me I CANNOT ACCESS MY OWN ACCOUNT.

had to wait for some BS text message number code, and then change my password.

ANNOYED.

but anyhoo, clearly i am back...and now, i am annoyed. which means...it's time for a list of things annoying me.

1. the new old navy commercials. an obnoxious song about your ankles, or spelling cute, or being a layer player does NOT make me want to shop at your store.

2. the fact that my shoes i ordered SATURDAY are supposed to be here MONDAY. umm, target...it should not take a week to get from indiana to georgia. it wouldn't take that long to drive myself to your indiana target and get them myself!!

3. the orkin man is coming today. he's a nice enough little dude i guess..but HE. IS. WEIRD. last time, he made up a baby that we apparently had without our knowledge. and asked about it. and kept insisting he thought we had one...um NO dude.

4. the red cross keeps calling me about donating blood. I GET IT, THERE'S A SHORTAGE. but there's always a shortage. and you know what? having bumbling call center people call me and clearly read from a script at 7:30 at night? NOT the way to get me to offer up a vein yo.

my current bright spot is that there is a new angry birds game to play, and it was free for my droid...angry birds rio is the bomb =)

i need some major arm candy

2011-03-23T10:53:00.000-04:00

i'm not talking arm candy of the handsome gentleman variety...cuz i kinda have that with my handsome husband.

(although, let's be real...if one joshua jackson was throwin' his game at me...i wouldn't say no. AT ALL)

i'm talking about the kind that makes you feel girly or tough or brings your whole outfit together.

i'm talking bracelets.

like these gorgeos gems i saw in the latest issue of people stylewatch. and $24 each isn't too bad....unless you want like ALL of them like i do. definitely hoping the hubs too my not so subtle hint these would make a great "just because you're my awesome wife and i love you" present. you can get your own here.

and for a little cheaper option, this whole set from forever 21 is less than $10. and once again, my lack of a F21 near me makes me sad...BUT a cousin says she'll pick them up for me if i want, and bring them to our family reunion next month.

oh, and will most DEFINITELY be hitting up the hobby lobby for the supplies for this beauty. this tutorial from studs and pearls seems pretty easy to follow...but i can't decide if i want black, or white...or some fun color!

cuz i've already made this one with nuts and twine...and i want more of these too!!

the best yes in the world

2011-03-22T10:38:00.000-04:00

3 years ago today, i woke up for the first time engaged to the man of my dreams.

on march 21, 2008, this man got down on one knee, gave me the blingiest bling a girl could ask for, and asked me to be his wife.

then, we had cake.

19 months later,
we cried exchanging our vows (and if we're being honest....i basically cried the whole day),

and then we sealed the deal,

and then we had more cake!

saying yes to being this goofy, crazy, warm-hearted, amazingly smart and talented and driven and sexy man of mine is to this day one of the best decisions i've ever made =)

how does a person get bored with their own head?!

2011-03-21T11:24:00.000-04:00

i hope all of you had a glorious weekend...now that's finally spring, everything around my casa has a hazy yellow dust to it. it's pollen time around these parts...for me, that means nothing cuz i kinda won the genetic lottery on that front and it doesn't bother me at all.

hubs? spent friday at urgent care, found out he has a big-time sinus infection and it was close to getting in his ears. so he's on like...47 pills now. or something.

alright, on to the story at hand.

i am BORED with my hair. BOOOOOORRRREEEEEDDDDD.
this is me, about a week ago at a friend's going away party. my hair is a little past my shoulders...and apparently i have the biggest face on the planet.

i don't hate my hair this length....but this is the first time in several YEARS i haven't been growing my locks out for someone's wedding...first one friend in '07, then another in '08, then mine in '09, and then last fall's one wrapped them all up!

so i've always either had long (for me) hair...or just chopped it off, to grow it back.

here's me on my honeymoon, for long hair reference. i did not really like it. also, ouzo SUCKS.

so, do i chop it back to just above my shoulders, another bob like i've been doing? orrrrr...do i go big?

cuz i'm more than a little obsessed with ginnifer goodwin's hair here. i dig the swoop. plus...she has a roung-ish face like me.

also, LOVE the messiness of jessica stroup's 'do. i probably wouldn't get pieces in the front so short...but i might.

the only thing i worry about is the ends flipping out, i had my hair short when i was in college, and i always wore it sort of flipped because it would do that naturally. but i think it makes me look super young. not in a "ooh, she looks like she's a lovely 23, not almost-28", but like "i think she might be skipping sophomore social studies!".

also...i'm kind of hairstyling challenged. so i'd have to learn to actually do something to it.

so...what do you think? bob it again? chop it off? find a hobby to keep my hands off my hair?

are you cool enough to be a loser?

2011-03-16T10:22:00.000-04:00

"Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth
So everyone can hear
Hit me with the words you got and knock me down
Baby, I don’t care
Keep it up, I’m tunin’ up to fade you out
You wanna be
A loser like me"

ahhh...have truer words ever been sung to this barely reformed drama geek? i think NOT. cuz even though i definitely do not have the best voice, and i was only in chorus in 8th grade because it meant only having to take PE for half the year....i feel like deep down, GLEE is a show about my life.

about being an outcast. about not feeling like you measure up...even if you were head cheerleader before you got knocked up.

and i can guarantee, any of you who don't watch this show...have probably felt that way before. maybe in high school. maybe in college. maybe last week at some work meeting. maybe with your sibling who always seems to outshine you just a little.

but that's the thing....we're ALL losers. everyone. we've all got different things that make us losers.

and you know what??

IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME TO EMBRACE THEM.

see that girl? she's all of 16 i think. and trust me when i say...she was definitely a loser. lucky for her...she went to a liberal arts magnet high school. so even the popular kids were smart kids too...and the jocks were in AP classes. and we didn't have a whole heck of a lot of bullying and such. or i just wasn't a big enough loser to know it.

and now? now that girl is a few months shy of 28...and she's been thinking of all the reasons she's a loser...and all the reasons why she loves it.

*i'm a complete and total klutz. i usually manage in public...but i've almost killed myself going up and down the stairs in my house more times than i can count.

*i'm a fountain of useless knowledge...which usually gets weird looks, NOT admiring stares.

*two words....drama. geek. i lived it...i loved it. i STILL have the t-shirts from thespian conference.

*i cry. a lot. when i'm happy. when i'm sad. when i see someone else crying. when i get really mad and frustrated. waterworks city.

*i didn't get kissed until i was 19. NINETEEN.

*deep down, i still desperately want to be one of the "cool girls".

*i get more than a little freaked out going places far away on my own. what if i do something wrong? what if i say something wrong?

*i've been unemployed for 9 months. and don't really have any job prospects lined up. (also haven't really been looking...which might be another reason i'm sort of a loser).

*i get REALLY excited when i get emails saying i have blog comments...like...loser-ish excited.

so....the real question is...have YOU embraced your inner loser? or have you always been a cool kid?

if so....can we be friends?

i hate doing dishes, BUT

2011-03-11T11:33:00.000-05:00

i hate NOT being able to do them more.

i'll be the first to admit...i'm not the best dishwasher. cooking and dirtying up dishes? absofreakinglutely.

but then getting my hands dirty to wash those dishes?? no thanks.

i'm a strictly dish brush kind of girl...don't dig the whole sponge thing, and the hubs has known for the entire 3 and a half years we've live together that i will NOT touch the sink drain strainer thing full of food bits. WILL NOT.

so...when you add all those things together, do you know what you get?

someone who might have a meltdown if her kitchen sink doesn't freaking get its act together and start draining right!!!

i mean...it's a sink. its whole LIFE PURPOSE is to drain away water from my feeble washing attempts, right??

APPARENTLY. NOT.

ugh...right now, literally both sides have water in them, and the hubs dumped a whole thing of draino max gel in the 2 sides (AFTER telling me when had to go to the store to get more...and explaining we had to get the same kind, cuz apparently unlike sweaters and accessories...you CANNOT mix and match drain cleaners. well....you can. but you'll explode your house. and i don't do blowing up, in the literal sense at least).

oh yeah, and they've also got dishes and weird stuff floating on the surface...cuz we intended to do dishes tonight. except the sink robbed us of that.

AND we can't run the dishwasher, because apparently it drains into the sink or something...and again with the explosions.

so, come tomorrow...you might find me doing dishes in my backyard with the hose, or in the tub or something.

PLUMBING GODS, SHOW YOURSELVES!!!

also...might have gotten myself a little treat for all my stress at the store when we bought draino.
also, might have given my husband the i-don't-even-know-who-you-are-and-how-we've-loved-each-other-so-long look when he said to me "what's a cream horn?"

nothing you're getting NOW buddy, since you don't know their deliciousness...you won't miss me hoarding them all for myself.

when trying to be good goes awry

2011-03-09T10:57:00.000-05:00

when i looked in my closet and realized there are several shirts and tops and cardis that STILL have the tags on them....i thought MAYYYYBBBEEEE it's time to look for outfit inspiration inside my closet, instead of out.

and then i went to the mall because i got bored.

while i didn't drop any cash yesterday....i will be soon. because i have found the PERFECT accessories for my wardrobe.

seriously...i came home and figured out THREE ensemble options for a party this weekend. on a tuesday!! that's basically unheard of around these parts.

please tell me you don't DIE for this ring. cuz i totally do. it looks like space or something...and the facets make it amazing. and it looks soooo good on my pointer ringer...or my middle one. not that i'd EVER show it to anyone there ;)

and this looks similar to the second...except it's not turquoise, but a similar blue to the first ring. but it's silver and a long oval. and i love it on my ring finger, or the middle one again.

cuz flipping someone off with accessories makes it less offensive, right?

anyhoo...i intend to rock these both on my right hand, with skinnies and boots and a coral top and oatmeal 3/4 sleeve cotton cardigan.

i'm already nerdily excited.

i hope i don't change my mind between now and saturday.

how i ended up NOT getting murdered

2011-03-04T11:25:00.001-05:00

i'll be the first to admit...i have a TINGE of paranoia.

perhaps it's the 5 year tour in the news business i did...or the fact that our house got burgled in broad daylight in 2009. but either way....when i'm home alone, i tend to....dramaticize things.

so wednesday i was in the shower, minding my own business and shampooing my hair...when our doorbell rang.

and my heart started hammering.

but i figure, no bigs, they'll go away when no one comes to the door.

THEN whoever it is pounds on the door several times.

and i start freaking out even more.

THEN they ring the doorbell AGAIN, and i am officially freaking out. meanwhile...my 2 dogs, who hate the doorbell and always always ALWAYS flip out when anyone rings it...yeah, they're silent. thanks dudes, mom can handle herself...or NOT.

so i peak out the bathroom window, and see a red truck parked in the yard. i put my robe on, grab my cell phone, go to the door to look through the peephole, and spy on the ground any blunt objects i could use to bludgeon an intruder.

THERE'S NO ONE AT THE DOOR. but the truck is still there.

cue my brain going around and around and around, figuring there's someone crouching down, waiting for me to open to the door, so they cam bum rush me and kill me in my own house. this is also the point i'm thinking i should have put on undies and pants, so my would-be murderer would have to at least work at little when he attacks me...cuz i watch A LOT of law & order SVU.

then the truck drives off...i calm down, and go about my merry way.

cue last night, while i'm getting our ravioli dinner plated...the doorbell rings again.

and it's this nice old man who's apparently in a wood turning club (wtf is that? no clue...are they high-class whittlers??), and he wants to know if he can have pieces of this little president's day endeavor

see...the whole top of this tree was basically gone...and rotted. so we chopped it down. APPARENTLY, sweet gum trees are good for more than just annoying the every-loving hell out of me with their infernal balls over my yard.

APPARENTLY, sweet gum wood makes super awesome fare for whatever the heck the wood turning club does.

oh yeah, and that nice old man?

DRIVES A RED TRUCK.

apparently he wanted my wood...not to give me his.

there are several reasons i should not be left alone

2011-03-02T11:24:00.000-05:00

thank goodness the husband comes home tonight! because...i really should not be left to my own devices.

1. i end up eating 2 mini grilled cheese sammies for dinner, since it's the only thing that sounds good. ALSO, dinner is at 9:30.

2. dinner is so late...because i may, or may not have spent about 6 hours watching season 1 of veronica mars on netflix instant streaming.

3. when i get bored watching tv...or really, when i get bored anytime...i tend to craft.

no, i will NOT be wearing these 2 items together.

the ring is the latest in several chunky stone endeavors...the others are dark blue, and kelly green, and a HUMONGOUS yellow one...but none of them have wire wrapping. cuz...a girl's gotta branch out sometimes.

and really...i just randomly think of things sometimes, AFTER i've done a run or 2 another way =)

i wish i could say i wasn't totally and freakishly obsessed with my new gold glittered bangle...BUT I SO AM!!! and it was maybe the easiest thing in the entire world.

AND i might have plans in the world for a skinnier one in black/dark grey....and probably more big chunky ones in different colors.

the best part? together....they cost about $4.

i wanna be her BFF

2011-03-01T11:51:00.001-05:00

in our world of constant access to television and internet, and the juggernaut that is reality programming...it's easy to pick and choose heroes and villians, without ever knowing any of these "celebrities" at all.

but sometimes...i see people on tv, and i think to myself...we'd be friends. i do the same with all of you...even if you're just words on my computer screen, i feel like i "know" you, and consider a lot of you my friends.

so, i've been anxiously awaiting the return of one of my television besties.

it's true...i am OBSESSED with bethenny frankel.

i never really watched her season of real housewives, being a die hard atlanta fan and all...but bravo being bravo, i did catch a marathon of "bethenny getting married" one day.

and i have loved her potty-mouthed dramatic self since then. i LOVE her. i think everyone should use the phrase "_____ until your penis falls off" all. the. time.

and during last night's premiere, in between the hilarity of finding poo in the car, and getting her boobs measured...she also visited her husband's hometown.

and got really emotional when his hometown friends mentioned that being with them is about jason staying with his roots. and he said he loved her more in that dive bar than he ever had before.

because she was trying to understand where he came from. even though it's drastically different than her upbringing.

and i had this feeling wash over me, of KNOWING that feeling. of wanting the person you love to understand your life before them, to really get who you were before they came into your life...and why your life is so much better now.

because no matter how good i had it when i was a kid, and how awesome my family is...it's even better getting to share all that awesomeness with someone else.

maybe it's because nate is out of town for a few days, and i feel so...LOST. it sounds dumb, but we literally are together all the time, and have been since we started dating. he's my other half, and he's the person who gets me the most...and without him here, i feel so off.

plus, our house is old, and it totally freaks me out and convinces me there's a killer waiting for me.

luckily...i've my swedish fish stash, and my dogs, and episodes of grey's and one tree hill to tide me over until i pick him up from the airport =)

confessions of a word junkie

2011-02-25T11:22:00.000-05:00

if they made an episode of intervention for reading...i would be on it.

every 2 weeks, like clockwork...i hit up my local library. now that it's nice out...i can actually walk there from my house.

and every 2 weeks...i get anywhere between 4 and 7 books.

and i usually finish them all.

i DEVOUR books. i'm a fast reader...and i get lost in good stories. i always have. i think i spent a solid 1/4 of my time in elementary school in the library, because i'd go get books when i finished my work. and we were only allowed one book at a time. which meant i needed a new supply every few days.

LIKE A JUNKIE.

anyhoo, this friday, i feel like i need to open your eyes to my newest drug of choice.

it's about a teenage girl, and the boy she loves...who also happens to be a werewolf.

EXCEPT KRISTEN STEWART HAS RUINED NOT A SYLLABLE OF THIS TALE.

because, unlike twilight and all its sequels...this book? actually good. yeah...i read twilight. i read all the books. in about a week.

but let's not mince words...the actual writing? TERRIBLE. and stephanie meyer is kind of a douche.

so back away from your robert pattinson cardboard cutout and hear me out.

THIS. IS. BETTER.

world, meet shiver. we got acquainted on wednesday.

and by acquainted...i mean i read the whole thing in a day. and started book 2 yesterday.

THEY ARE AMAZING. read them now. if you love words...you will love these books. the sentences, the feelings, the story...heck, even the cover and the text inside....GORGEOUS.

the only downside? i can guarantee i'll be done with book 2 by sunday, at the latest.

AND THE THIRD BOOK COMES OUT IN JULY.

why universe?? why?!?

anyone else read these? love them? want to force stupid ms. meyer to read them and show her why teens and book lovers everywhere should not be forced to read drivel??

it's like a bling of the month club

2011-02-23T11:30:00.001-05:00

i'll admit...i have an addiction.

to jewelry.

from the good stuff that comes with hefty pricetags and carat weights and blue boxes, to the stuff that costs me less than a grande latte at starbucks...i love it all.

so when i heard about this new site called jewelmint, i had to check it out. it's run by kate bosworth (you know, the chick with the different colored eyes from that surfing movie), and some friend of hers names cher. not THAT cher...and not "clueless" cher.

you fill out this survey, and then it shows you stuff you might like...if you decide to buy something, it's $29.99s, and shipping and returns are free if you change your mind.

if you hate everything, you just opt out in the first 5 days of the month, and wait for next month's designs to hit the site.

i gotta say...some of the stuff is ehhh, not really my style...but some of it? some of it i am OBSESSED with.
these marakesh earrings are my FAVES. they're what drew me to the site in the first place...i love the double stones, i love the sparkle...i think they'll look awesome with skinnies and a black tank this summer.
i never used to be a bracelet girl, but a friend rocks the arm candy like no other, and it's totally inspiring...i've been getting into bracelets more, and especially mixing them up, and stacking them up. plus...it's a nice change from my standard earrings or necklace mix.

and i live for this vintagey one...if it looks like my grandma might have thrown it in a drawer 40 years ago, i need it. NOW.

now, you know i wouldn't just be hocking this stuff is there wasn't something in it for you.

TODAY ONLY, use the code FIRST60 if you're a new jewelmint member, and you'll get your first piece of jewelry 60% off. so instead of $30, which is a pretty good deal for the quality of the pieces...you get it for $12.

so you can't NOT try it!

just go HERE and start by filling out the quiz to find your jewelry personality, and then you can add items to your showroom from the collection that you love!

and you've gotta show off what you buy ;)

93 is the new black

2011-02-22T13:11:00.000-05:00

happy tuesday ladies!! i spent my president's day 1). not working, for the first time in YEARS, and it was amazzzzinnnnng...and 2). being forced into manual labor via the hubs. but i did get to use a chainsaw, so that made it better.

also realized, today is my 2 year and one month blogiversary!! apparently...i forgot about it last month. oopsies.

i also got a life lesson this weekend from an amazing woman.
see that sweet-looking, white haired lady in the middle?

that's my grandma. she's 93.

and don't let that sweet look on her face fool you...she is a SPITFIRE. and i love it.

she can't see much anymore, but she still lives on her own and gets around really well...and one of the places she goes is her weekly hair appointment.

every friday, she gets her permanent done, and those white curls stay the whole week.

except recently...they didn't.

so what does my grandma do when her permanent doesn't hold the way she thinks it ought to?

does she just let bygones be bygones and figure next week will be better?

HECK. NO.

my grandma first went to A DIFFERENT STYLIST IN THE SAME SALON (ballsy enough right there) to get it fixed...and when her orginal lady called to find out why she didn't tell her it was wrong or come to her?

my grandma told her SHE COULD GO TO HELL. and hung up on her.

i strive to be as awesome as she is one day.

as much as i love sweaters and boots

2011-02-17T11:27:00.001-05:00

this weekend around casa de this girl...the highs are in the 70's.

which means...
i want to be here.

wearing this.
and these.

so...a trip to target for the shoes is totally in order right? cuz i've got the other 2 pieces already =)

and yes...i'll be wearing pants too.

also, anyone got an extra $250 burning a hole in their pocket?

cuz i NEED this for summer. or for right now. for always.

and p.s. mother nature...as much as i'm loving this little spring preview...if it means that summer will come in april, and by june the temps will be hovering around 152, with 110% humidity...i'll take a few more weeks of winter, groundhog be damned. k? k.

an open love letter to the grammys

2011-02-14T11:40:00.001-05:00

dear grammys,

thanks for making my sunday night entertaining. i spent a solid 90 minutes texting a friend back and forth about ridiculous things that happened. so that was awesome. also, you brought me the greatest thing i have ever witnessed on tv ever...so i appreciate that. and i'll get to that in a minute. i had a few problems with you, but, like any good valentine...for the most part, you brought the love. or at least made up for your shortcomings with bright colors. so, 'preciate ya.

love,
your lots of music loving girl, hales.

p.s. mind if i include a few other peeps in this love letter? cool, thanks.

dear msn,
thanks for all these pics. 'preciate you too.
love,
too lazy to source everything separately.

dear smith family,

adopt me please. cuz jada...you rule. and will, you know i will forever love the summer jam that is "gettin' jiggy with it". and willow...oh how i love your quirky self...i've been practicing whipping my hair, just in case we become sisters. cuz you NEED one with 2 brothers. trust, i've got this on lock.

love,
the future mrs. hayley smith, esquire.

dear ricky martin,
i mean this in the nicest, least offensive way possible.
those pants COULD NOT be any gayer.

love,
just sayin'.

dear john mayer,
NEWSFLASH!!!
you're not johnny depp. let the dream die.
love,
please don't try and molest me.

dear justin bieber,
YOU. GOT. ROBBED. and ignore my husband, you are TOTALLY not a douche. he doesn't know what he's talking about. we can hang out when will and jada adopt me.

love,
an almost 28-year-old girl with a grade-a case of bieber fever.

dear gaga,
i don't even know. are there words for putting yourself in an egg with an oxygen tank and being carried down the red carpet?? i did hear ryan seacrest has to talk to the egg...so that's pretty awesome. and you gave love to whitney houston, so that was cool too. i figure you probably meant pre-coke binge whitney...she's my favorite one too.

love,
a girl who wishes she was even a little bit this ballsy.

and finally, dear cee-lo,
you sir. you stole my heart. not only have you brought me much joy in my car, driving around jamming out to "the song otherwise known as forget you" (which, by the way, is the most awesome grammy distinction EVER...your song is like the prince of the grammys).

so not only is your song awesome...you let gwyneth sing it on glee. and THAT was awesome.

but you know what's even MORE awesome than all of those things combined, PLUS some chocolate and roses thrown in?

THIS.

this is arguably the greatest thing i have ever seen on the grammys, or any award show, EVER. cuz...you're kinda dressed like if elton john and elmo had a giant black baby. and I. LOVE. IT. i love every single feather and rhinestone on your potty-mouthed self.

i love the puppets.

i LOVE gwyneth. i love her catsuit, and her hot pink feather earrings, and the way that in my head, you 2 are bffs and just call each other to say hey, and your version of the song is the ringtone when you call her...and her version is the ringtone when she calls you.

so please, keep doing what you do. i'll be here...watching this video on repeat. ALL. DAY.

love,
me.

p.p.s

dear l'il wayne,
thanks for showing prison didn't change you. blue cardigan, shades, bling-tastic watch AND a cigar on the red carpet? this is why we're tight weezy...this is why we're tight.
love,
your redheaded boo.

this is NOT one of those mushy valentine posts

2011-02-11T11:21:00.000-05:00

let me preface this by saying that i love my husband very much. adore him in fact. wonder what i ever did without him.

and on valentine's day, i intend to shower him with affection.

but this friday before cupid's favorite holiday?? i have some things i need to get off my chest.
oh that handsome face, looking all distinguished smoking his cuban cigar in greece. you'd never know the torture he inflicts on his charming, adorable wife every day.

like the soda cans. sweet lord, the soda cans. it's not even the number of them...because in theory, we drink about the same amount, one for lunch/when he gets home from work, and one with dinner. except mine are drained to the bottom...and i swear to you, every other can i pick up to put in the recycling bin has some liquid in it. and every 3rd one? AT LEAST HALF FULL. sometimes 3/4 full. sometimes, i think he just looks hard at an open soda can...and then abandons it.

IT'S LIKE THE GIRL FROM SIGNS, EXCEPT SODA IS NOT FREE LIKE FAUCET WATER!!!

also, speaking of the cans...we have a small recycling bin in the house. and a big one next to the driveway where the cars are parked. so when he gets home from work, and needs to get rid of his empty energy drink can, or bottle of soda or anything...it would take like 7 steps to get around the front of the car and toss it in the bin. except he just chucks the thing over the roof of the car like he's on the freaking dukes of hazzard!!! and then...then his lovely irate wife picks them up out of the grass when she's tired of looking like a bar alley yard.

also, news flash hubs...when your boxers become TRANSLUCENT...it's time for new ones. we've been together more than 4 years...and i KNOW i've seen some of them that entire time. let the dream die dude.

when we're on the couch, and i've got a thing with a spine and cover and pages called a book...i'm not just using it as a tool to test my eyesight. i'm reading it. so when you talk to me...don't get mad if i don't pay attention. because i'm already engaged. WITH THE BOOK. I'M READING.

alright...i think i'm better. for now.

anyone else have significant other vents to get off their chest?? let's get this party started...and NOT invite the boys =)

who's scared of something that lives by a tree?!

2011-02-09T10:36:00.000-05:00

have you ever had something that you considered totally normal and innocuous...and then, BAM, it's all over the place and you just love love love it? like, can't get enough of it? want to make everyone you know love it too, so someone else shares the love?

yep...i've got one.

i guess technically i've gotten another one...since i'm pretty sure my crazy love for owls counts.

but this time? this time hollywood's got my back.

no lie, since i saw the poster in the theater right after christmas...i have been peeing my pants about gnomeo and juliet.

and i don't even REALLY know why!! maybe because the hubs has an irrational hatred for adorable gnomes, and therefore i feel like i need to counteract his ridiculous ideas. i mean, they're garden gnomes! they're so cute and adorable...and hello, don't you remember david the gnome? he rode a fox, and that. was. awesome.

the hubs MIGHT have gotten a UGA gnome ornament for christmas....from "santa". so now he'll be on the tree forrrreeeevvvverrrrrr.

i have been launching my campaign to get him to take me to the movie for like 6 weeks...it mostly consists of me squealing when the preview comes on the tv, and hitting his leg repeatedly like a child so he watched.

real mature, i know.

so last night...i pulled out the big guns.

i made us gnomes.
oh hi there, i'm hayley, and my red dress and hat are totally rockstar.
oh boo, i'm nate, i've got a lot of self-hatred for such a cute little guy....plus, my beard is white and my hair is not. BONUS.

just for comparison's sake, here is a pic of us the weekend of thanksgiving...i did pretty good with our gnome selves, right??

anyone else interested in a kid's movie about gnomes? and shakespeare??

and more importantly...any last-minute tips to talk the husband into this flick?

was YOUR dog on the super bowl??

2011-02-07T11:30:00.000-05:00

i'm trying to get over my grief this morning that football is really and truly over...and won't start back until september =(

i didn't really have a stake in last night's super bowl...but i was glad the packers one...cuz big ben is dirty. and a rapist. or a molester. and dirty.

i gotta say...i thought this year's commercials were pretty good...the little darth vader, the audi commercial with kenny g, the chrysler commercial with eminem (except he totally counteracted his "i'm sorta selling out, but still keeping my street cred" with that ridic claymation brisk iced tea commercial).

BUT i was also sorta disappointed, because they totally peaked early for me. like this commercial that aired in the first quarter...and i squealed like a little girl watching.

cuz...doesn't that little smooshed face look a little familiar?
it's like they got a time machine and took teeny little, just came to live with us as a puppy bojangles, and put him on the tv.

and if i had to wager a guess...i'd say he'd totally tackle someone for doritos. cuz he's like his mama that way =)

how i bought my own valentine's day present

2011-02-03T12:48:00.002-05:00

a few weeks ago, i spotted this house of harlow necklace on the internets...and i HAD to have it.
it looks small here, but it's like 2 inches across, and the chain is 26 inches long.

so, this is the ONE thing i've told the hubs i want for valentine's day...you know, we're trying to be good and spend about $100 or less each...and this was only $80 so i thought it was perfect!

until today.

when gilt group decided to have HoH on their site...and it wasn't any cheaper than anywhere else...EXCEPT i had credits at gilt. and apparently this necklace was one of "nicole's picks", so i also get a leather cuff bracelet with my order.

sidenote: can we talk about how much i LOVE nicole ritchie?! who knew when she was just paris hilton's weird friend on that one reality show that she'd end up so classy and wonderful and stylish, with her adorable babies and super awesome rocker hubs. plus, she had an elephant at her wedding. and that's pretty awesome too.

and so i ended up spending a total....of $30. and no shipping.

so i bought my own valentine's present.

except now i have to find something else for the hubs to get me...cuz he's not getting off that easy.

down the internet rabbit hole

2011-02-02T11:07:00.000-05:00

you ever have those items that you randomly buy on a whim? and then when you get them home and you think about them....you want about a bazillion more?

i do this A LOT.

hence why my closet has about 25 tshirts in different colors, and the same sweater from target in about 18 different colors.

well, it happened again this weekend...when i bought this.

doesn't it look so retro and vintagey and gloriously chunky??? yeahhhh....it's from forever 21.

and as soon as it was in my greedy little hands (cuz the closest F21 is like....100 miles away. it's a tragic existence really), i started thinking about the ways to wear it. with a black tee and boots. with a white tank and jeans and my sperry's come summer.
i also got this deliciously sparkly old-school number....which would also go with a black shirt and boots, or a white tank and jeans. cuz i'm awesome like that.

and when i got home...i started looking up "chunky vintage bracelets" on ebay and etsy, cuz clearly i have a problem. i want lots of jewelry. all the time.

like how cute is this chunky gold chain?? i love it! and it makes me want lots of them, all piled on my arms.

i also intend to scour the thrift stores around here...but mostly, they're full of random stuff. not gorgeous vintage treasures. more like....outdated nascar flags. i envy those of you with beautimous thrift stores nearby.

anyone else loving chunky arm bling?

if you've got a problem...i'll probably listen in on it

2011-01-28T11:00:00.000-05:00

this? is me.

okay...not REALLY me, cuz that's a dude...and i'm not. but the point is...i'm a serial eavesdropper.

i am ALL UP in people's conversations. all the time.

it started in college, when i rode a bus like 30 minutes after class every day to get back to my parking deck...when i was alone, i'd just zone out the window...and listen to other people talk.

and now i can't stop.

the hubs and i will be at walmart or something, waiting in line and i'll ask him if he heard what the people next to us were talking about. he NEVER does...which greatly concerns me, because hello, how else can i mock them if i have to explain the sitch to him?!

anyways...today, i went to the hair salon with a friend, because 1) we had not hung out this week, and 2) going to the salon with someone else is better than sitting at home alone, watching dog the bounty hunter...with my dogs.

so stylist is working on her, i'm chillaxing nearby...and then in comes this blonde girl. and the minute she starts talking, i realize it.

SHE'S A BRAIN SUCK.

one of those people who talks...and talks...and talks. and you can literally feel the brain cells in your head screaming out for nourishment...and all they're getting is nothing. AT ALL.

here's a little combo of what she prattled on about:
1) how she totaled her car hydroplaning.
2) how the police told her she wrecked because she hit black ice (which i'm pretty sure is NOT the same as hydroplaning...it's hitting black ice)
3) her car was towed out of the ravine...and that's what totaled it (so maybe don't imply that your car was totaled in the wreck, huh?? cuz having the axle jacked up from a tow is NOT really the same)
4) how she wanted to do something different with her hair, but mom told her not to...and there comes a point when you can't argue with mom anymore (who's mom tells them how to do their hair?!)
5) getting her picture taken for a local magazine tomorrow was going to involve something "cute" like sitting on the edge of a sofa with her sketchpad, NOT something "boring" like sitting at a desk.
6) continually saying her hair was messed up because another stylist "stripped" it.
7) saying she doesn't really even know what "stripped" means.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! i couldn't even take the stupid...there was THAT much of it. like being smothered by stupidity.

and to think...if i wasn't such an eavesdropper...those poor brain cells of mine would still be alive, all tina fey and smart...but now? just jessica simpson.

she makes feel dumb...but damn if she isn't catchy

2011-01-27T10:54:00.000-05:00

it's no secret...i love stupid music. i also love really good, really well written, really amazing music.

but if a song has ridiculous lyrics that are the least bit catchy...i love the song. even when i hate myself for loving it.

and lately...the biggest offender in my life is one miss dollar sign.

also known as kesha. or ke$ha. or whatever.

she actually makes me feel stupid when i listen to her songs. and yet...it continues.

i mean, with lyrical gems like "We’re sellin’ our clothes, sleepin’ in cars
Dressin’ it down, hittin’ on dudes (HARD!)"...i was bound to love her music.

i mean, she doesn't even really sing..she just talks. to a beat.

AND i'm pretty sure she's got at least 3 STDs. at least.

and probably a glitter infection.

and WHY does she wear that stupid feather in her hair?!?

ugh, i hate her, i really do. even with my love for her "music"...i hate her.

so, when i saw this video...i HAD to share.

i'm 99% sure this is how she ACTUALLY gets ready in the morning. it's not really safe for work, cuz there's some potty mouthage (like we'd expect any less from a girl who looks like she actually lives IN the potty)...but it's pretty funny.

even for dollar sign.

Disney's Princess Ke$ha - watch more funny videos